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Unread 08-10-2017, 08:28 PM   #1
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Default Possessive pronouns

Like I, we, they, us, me, them, they.....if that's what they are called....

When I talk about something an Other did but as mine to keep the impression of singledom...I feel guilty like I'm lying- plagiarism.

So it's like when we have to talk about ourselves as what an Other did....it comes across as we.

I've become to notice that this is starting to materialize in our manner of speech...but so what.

But when there are times for appearance sake that we claim an Others deed like where it matters i.e. Work....I still feel guilt.

Yes?

I hope this isn't triggering or ridiculous to you all....but this makes us feel more honest and truer to ourselves in our system.

We are so switchy...it's never "I" for any negligible amount of time. I would hate to come across as anti-therapeutic and "fakey" beyond belief...and if so....sorry and I don't know why we are still here.

I can't help but to acknowledge the fragmentation to miniscule amounts that we have been forced to be. Sometimes it feels like every 3-5 words an other steps in. Talking about stepping...jut a few steps while walking an Other tries taking over- so we miss step and fight for body control. We are a weird site to see....if one knew. We just come across as weird.
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Unread 08-10-2017, 11:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2 View Post
Like I, we, they, us, me, them, they.....if that's what they are called....

When I talk about something an Other did but as mine to keep the impression of singledom...I feel guilty like I'm lying- plagiarism.

So it's like when we have to talk about ourselves as what an Other did....it comes across as we.

I've become to notice that this is starting to materialize in our manner of speech...but so what.

But when there are times for appearance sake that we claim an Others deed like where it matters i.e. Work....I still feel guilt.

Yes?

I hope this isn't triggering or ridiculous to you all....but this makes us feel more honest and truer to ourselves in our system.

We are so switchy...it's never "I" for any negligible amount of time. I would hate to come across as anti-therapeutic and "fakey" beyond belief...and if so....sorry and I don't know why we are still here.

I can't help but to acknowledge the fragmentation to miniscule amounts that we have been forced to be. Sometimes it feels like every 3-5 words an other steps in. Talking about stepping...jut a few steps while walking an Other tries taking over- so we miss step and fight for body control. We are a weird site to see....if one knew. We just come across as weird.
with my system there was not talking in plurals (we, us, them, they...) my system was built to protect and follow the abusers code of do not tell. if any talk of we, us, them , they..... happened it would cause those around to ask things like who are you talking about, who is we,....and others things...

example in school if I had said we are going to go play (meaning my alters wanted to play on the playground) or we know the answer... the teacher would ask who is we, what do you mean by we you are only one person standing here.... the same on the home front it would have brought questions and noticing that the others were there if talking in the third person happened. so for my system none of that happened.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 03:36 AM   #3
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

I always use I when I am talking about me. When I am talking with my therapist I use i for me and he she they when talking about the others. When talking about all of us I say us or we. When I have to use "I" when I mean an other but i am talking wth people other than my therapist I don't feel guilty. But sometimes i slip up and say we or us.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 12:07 PM   #4
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

However many years ago (six now? i dunno) it was really important for those who were doing the life thing to use we/he/she/they/so on... it was also really important to say, for example, "Addy cooked dinner last night." instead of "I cooked dinner last night." Giving each unique individual credit where credit was due was a big thing back then. I think part of it was self validation, another part likely just getting to know and appreciate each other as much as was possible. Another part was maybe the co-op way of living that was the norm back then... it was like a living time share democracy up in here back in those days. I dunno, I guess there were a lot of reasons why it made more sense and felt more right and honest to say something else besides me or I. I've been trying to say I/me more often lately. It's not so easy to do so consistently.

Eh. I'm talking a lot. Point is, I relate. I still do have times I feel like a liar for saying 'I' when it was, for example, Addy who made the dinner.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 07:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

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Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
with my system there was not talking in plurals (we, us, them, they...) my system was built to protect and follow the abusers code of do not tell. if any talk of we, us, them , they..... happened it would cause those around to ask things like who are you talking about, who is we,....and others things...

example in school if I had said we are going to go play (meaning my alters wanted to play on the playground) or we know the answer... the teacher would ask who is we, what do you mean by we you are only one person standing here.... the same on the home front it would have brought questions and noticing that the others were there if talking in the third person happened. so for my system none of that happened.
Yes, us too...but now...we kinda don't care anymore.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 07:02 PM   #6
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

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Originally Posted by Amyjay View Post
I always use I when I am talking about me. When I am talking with my therapist I use i for me and he she they when talking about the others. When talking about all of us I say us or we. When I have to use "I" when I mean an other but i am talking wth people other than my therapist I don't feel guilty. But sometimes i slip up and say we or us.
Yes exactly. At our job it's not allowed.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 07:10 PM   #7
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

Quote:
Originally Posted by L.P. View Post
However many years ago (six now? i dunno) it was really important for those who were doing the life thing to use we/he/she/they/so on... it was also really important to say, for example, "Addy cooked dinner last night." instead of "I cooked dinner last night." Giving each unique individual credit where credit was due was a big thing back then. I think part of it was self validation, another part likely just getting to know and appreciate each other as much as was possible. Another part was maybe the co-op way of living that was the norm back then... it was like a living time share democracy up in here back in those days. I dunno, I guess there were a lot of reasons why it made more sense and felt more right and honest to say something else besides me or I. I've been trying to say I/me more often lately. It's not so easy to do so consistently.

Eh. I'm talking a lot. Point is, I relate. I still do have times I feel like a liar for saying 'I' when it was, for example, Addy who made the dinner.
To me...being forthright is more less stressful and more wholesome through acceptance. It's free'er.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 04:45 AM   #8
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

Small technicalities but it might also have something to do with your diagnoses. OSDD and DID are mutually exclusive and by the sounds of it you fall under OSDD rather than DID so the experience of a fractured sense of self is going to be different than how people with DId experience themself and others.

DID Versus OSDD-1
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Unread 08-12-2017, 05:52 AM   #9
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

They only time we talk it we/us/they is in therapy, otherwise it is I/me etc.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 07:29 AM   #10
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Default Re: Possessive pronouns

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Originally Posted by TheDragon View Post
Small technicalities but it might also have something to do with your diagnoses. OSDD and DID are mutually exclusive and by the sounds of it you fall under OSDD rather than DID so the experience of a fractured sense of self is going to be different than how people with DId experience themself and others.

DID Versus OSDD-1
Thanks, I don't claim to be specifically one or the other...we are Multiple. And acceptance of a system is the basis for the pluarity in choice of words when describing self or said system.

While I say we...it's only in reference to our system. We do have a level of amnesia to each other's selves....but some co-con exists...like inner communication, all else is a blocked. We are very switchy and have our own ways. I hate the fact that I have no control of what happens where and no instant memories of it happening...even from moments ago.

Besides, if I didn't do it...an Other had to of based on evidence.

Truth be known...I wish that I was more like that OSDD-1 as described in your link...then life and memories would be less segmented and missing- life would make sense. Think?
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Last edited by AlwaysChanging2; 08-12-2017 at 08:31 AM.
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