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Unread 03-18-2017, 06:12 PM   #1
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Default Fed up of being ill!

I don't want to be ill anymore on top of all the chronic illnesses I have to also have this cancer thing with abnormal cells is really enough,I am fed up of having so many health issues.I want respite from it all!

Also I started counselling last week and it stirred everything up from the past,and I don't really want to go over that but the counsellor thinks it would help to explore my childhood and see how my parents weren't emotionally available to me,and she thinks we need to go over the period where I was bullied at university cos that is where I was most emotionally wounded and that has held me back.But these are very painful areas for me that I am thinking are best left alone but if it is going to help me stop getting stuck then I must explore it.

I am fed up though of being ill both physically and mentally.
With the abnormal cells the fear they will turn to cancer is there all the time.I am not managing to stick to the anti cancer diet all the time,I have been weak and seduced by sugar laden treats and I feel so guilty and bad about that also it intensifies my fears that I will get cancer and have it spread over my body.

I am tired out and weary,I am also feeling isolated and so very alone.
It feeld like no on understands and I feel so very lost.
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Unread 03-18-2017, 07:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: Fed up of being ill!

When in doubt, I just imagine all the other things that could go wrong and realize how small the odds are I am still alive.

I feel lost too. An hour ago I just went into panic mode. Thinking again to isolate myself even more and abandon my presence here in cyberspace.

This is a pattern I have from childhood. Isolation and then reaching out.

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Unread 03-19-2017, 05:36 PM   #3
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Default Re: Fed up of being ill!

Hugs Bearguardian,

I am sorry that you are feeling lost too.I hope you don't stop using the forum.
I hope it helps you I know it helps me!
I am slowly getting through this tough period in my life.
I know I am feeling overwhelmed with all my health issues but you know what they say,what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
I don't think isolating ourselves is the answer either.

Hugs to you too Bearguardian!Hope you get over your bad feelings.
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Unread 03-19-2017, 07:01 PM   #4
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Default Re: Fed up of being ill!

Try to take care of yourself as much you possibly can, and I hope everything will be fine
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