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Old 03-23-2019, 10:05 PM #1
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Trig how do people decide its enough

idk, the whole "hit rock bottom and build back up" sounds like ******** to me...


how do they do it? how do you "decide" its "enough" and idk, start going to therapy, or taking your pills, or anything


at times, when it seems depression is lifting it just... doesn't, its just in disguise, and i do stuff eventually but nothing fulfilling, meaningful, purposeful or something of the sort...


thought this job was going to get me back on track, first year was a struggle but i managed to keep it... i thought it was going to help, it doesnt


thought getting back to school was going to put me back into the road, but it just feels like an obligation


oh, and ive done enormous work with people... some even think i dont think about jumping off a cliff anymore or drowning myself in alcohol and entire boxes of fags everyday... i smile at them, i talk a little when attention is on me, but i dont feel like engaging really with me, ive been committed into improving all relationships but i doesnt feel natural


oh i guess that i just dont know, keep falling endlessly through a downward spiral without no hint of "rock bottom", the abyss is infinite - and so its void
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Old 03-24-2019, 06:28 AM #2
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

I don't think people "decide" it's enough.

their's a song that I listen to a lot about self harm (the magicians assistant), and their's a quote in that, something along the lines of

" their's only so much pain you can hold, and recently it seems the tap's been left running"

and I think that's a great analigy

it's like a tap

it's going to overflow and flood the system eventually and their's no going back.

you can't try anymore, because you simply don't have the tools to "clear the blockage"

and naturally it's diffrent for diffrent people

some people can hold a lot of water, some not so much
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Old 03-24-2019, 06:30 AM #3
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

hope you take care.

((((hugs))))
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Old 03-24-2019, 07:24 AM #4
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain, lowpoint I completely agree with what raging vortex has already wisely said better than I ever could. You don't "deicde" when you hit rock bottom. You just know you did. You just feel it. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. You don't deserve it at all. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please keep fighting. I think it's great that you're trying all of these things to get better! I know it doesn't seem very helpful right now, but trust me when I say that they will help in the long run. The way towards healing starts from little things, after all! Take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. No need to hurry. Trust me when I say that things can and will get better. I promise you that. You're stronger than you think. You can do this! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, lowpoint. Please keep fighting. You've got this. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please remember that. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. You don't deserve to suffer at all
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Old 03-24-2019, 03:34 PM #5
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

thank you guys appreciate you both im just feeling a little overwhelmed right now
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Old 03-24-2019, 03:42 PM #6
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

Quote:
Originally Posted by lowpoint View Post
thank you guys appreciate you both im just feeling a little overwhelmed right now


would you like to share more of how you are feeling?

we are listening if you do
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Old 03-25-2019, 05:48 PM #7
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Old 03-26-2019, 06:46 AM #8
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

i don't really know what's going on but it's OK, it will pass
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:49 AM #9
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

I will have to frame this in the context of getting sober for me, just to explain it better. I had to decide that I was sick enough of the pain and misery. One morning in the early hours and I was just wrecked and weeping like I never had. I decided to ask for help and that is when I started going to AA and stopped drinking. A similar thing happened with being med compliant. I was recommended to take a certain dose of a medication and I refused because I was worried about weight gain. I would go into these fugue states that involved scary disassociation, combativeness- it got ugly. One day I decided cleaning up the wreckage of those episodes was no longer working for me and my family I decided to listen to the doc. And it was only a 15lb weight gain (I was just hypersensitive because I had gastric bypass and kept all the weight off). I learned to love myself more. My husband fills my awesome pill cases every month(I can share a pic they are truly amazing cases) and that makes him feel like he contributes to my mental wellbeing and this way I donot forget. I had also been in therapy forever so that really helped.
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Old 03-27-2019, 03:21 AM #10
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Default Re: how do people decide its enough

Hi sarahsweets. Im a new member and I just wanted to tell you that what you said is encouraging, for me. My spouse feels exactly as lowpoint does and I am truly discouraged more often these last couple of years. Hes a good person who deserves a chance in life. If only he saw it that way. Thank you for sharing. (Sorry if I typed this in the wrong area - - new to this whole online support thing.)

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I will have to frame this in the context of getting sober for me, just to explain it better. I had to decide that I was sick enough of the pain and misery. One morning in the early hours and I was just wrecked and weeping like I never had. I decided to ask for help and that is when I started going to AA and stopped drinking. A similar thing happened with being med compliant. I was recommended to take a certain dose of a medication and I refused because I was worried about weight gain. I would go into these fugue states that involved scary disassociation, combativeness- it got ugly. One day I decided cleaning up the wreckage of those episodes was no longer working for me and my family I decided to listen to the doc. And it was only a 15lb weight gain (I was just hypersensitive because I had gastric bypass and kept all the weight off). I learned to love myself more. My husband fills my awesome pill cases every month(I can share a pic they are truly amazing cases) and that makes him feel like he contributes to my mental wellbeing and this way I donot forget. I had also been in therapy forever so that really helped.
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