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Old 02-15-2019, 09:26 AM   #1
TheLonelyChemist
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Everything I have, including my limited group of friends, my now-defunct and useless knowledge of computer programming, is not earned by me at all and I am just a worthless person bragging about his non-existant abilities.


I haven't earned anything. I don't deserve to be happy. I Am just a fraud.


I am not House. I never will be.


If I had been fortunate enough to be healthy, I'd be studying computer engineering and would have left the world to its own fate. Now I cannot save myself neither the world. And you know what? I stopped thinking about the world relatively long ago. Now I just want a high income, secure job.


I haven't earned anything.
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Old 02-15-2019, 11:03 AM   #2
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You don't want to be House, lonely chemist. He was an angry, drug addicted sadist and only a character in a TV show. Now it would be fun to be Hugh Laurie, who is a great actor and seems to be a nice guy. All the knowledge you have, you earned. Nobody else put that in your head. And I bet you know a lot more than you think you do. It's OK if you don't save the world. No one person could. I used to want to, also, and it made me frustrated and depressed. It took me decades to break out of my "Mother Theresa Complex" and realize that I could help my own world instead. In my case, it was the people around me. But it could be the local environment, the local animals, or whatever.
I don't mean to be preachy, I hope I don't come off like that. But I remember going through similar stuff when I was younger and it still comes up for me sometimes. So I am thinking about you and sending you good vibes (very 60's stuff).
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Old 02-16-2019, 04:11 AM   #3
TheLonelyChemist
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You don't want to be House, lonely chemist. He was an angry, drug addicted sadist and only a character in a TV show. Now it would be fun to be Hugh Laurie, who is a great actor and seems to be a nice guy. All the knowledge you have, you earned. Nobody else put that in your head. And I bet you know a lot more than you think you do. It's OK if you don't save the world. No one person could. I used to want to, also, and it made me frustrated and depressed. It took me decades to break out of my "Mother Theresa Complex" and realize that I could help my own world instead. In my case, it was the people around me. But it could be the local environment, the local animals, or whatever.
I don't mean to be preachy, I hope I don't come off like that. But I remember going through similar stuff when I was younger and it still comes up for me sometimes. So I am thinking about you and sending you good vibes (very 60's stuff).
Well it's arguable House wasn't a hero. In my own opinion he is. But I completely agree with you about him being only a character. But he's relatable regardless. I was born very smart. Brilliant. I am only a shadow of what was once of me. Around age of 4-5 I started showing symptoms of brain damage.



I'd love to help anyone. But unfortunately since I turned 18 I've lost interest in most things. I don't know what to do. I am receiving help but it's not much useful.
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Old 02-16-2019, 06:24 AM   #4
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Do you have to be House? Why?

Don't you want to be the best version of yourself that it is possible to be? Yourself when you were brilliant, again.
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Old 02-16-2019, 08:03 AM   #5
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Do you have to be House? Why?

Don't you want to be the best version of yourself that it is possible to be? Yourself when you were brilliant, again.
House is an extraordinary person. He doesn't exist. Of course. But he's well... he's independent, brilliant and an actually kind person who wants to save lives. It's debatable but let's consider a fact he was a doctor and that means he wanted to save lives and heal people. Now I know the world doesn't work like that, that doctors only want to "save lives" and "gain satisifcation" from it but it does not mean every patient is ungrateful to see. There are certain people who teach valueable life lessons. Some doctors cannot forget them for rest of their lives. As an example, see this reddit post of a neurologist who posted his account of a patient who was suffering from ALS.
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Old 02-16-2019, 08:04 AM   #6
TheLonelyChemist
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I don't have the answer to your second question.
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Old 02-16-2019, 11:24 AM   #7
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TBH House was kind of a jerk. I am glad you are not like him.
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Old 02-16-2019, 12:17 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist View Post
Everything I have, including my limited group of friends, my now-defunct and useless knowledge of computer programming, is not earned by me at all and I am just a worthless person bragging about his non-existant abilities.


I haven't earned anything. I don't deserve to be happy. I Am just a fraud.


I am not House. I never will be.


If I had been fortunate enough to be healthy, I'd be studying computer engineering and would have left the world to its own fate. Now I cannot save myself neither the world. And you know what? I stopped thinking about the world relatively long ago. Now I just want a high income, secure job.


I haven't earned anything.
I've been there and know exactly how you feel. I dropped my computer programming major and went into business. After writing my first basic program I knew it wasn't for me. Don't think you can't change career paths even if you got your degree in it. There's tons of people with a second major.

I've changed career types throughout my 20's. But nothing felt more fun than running a company. The classification of manic is "thinking" they can do anything. Well I don't just think but I get it done with the help of everyone below me.

To help cheer you up, I went from eating 10 cent packets of ramen soup, rice, and beans during college. All while living with a roommate in a cheap apartment. I drove a car I bought for $400 and It would back fired all the time. Driving in a residential neighborhood and seeing people hit the deck after the massive loud *** boom, made me laugh everytime. I now own my own house in San Diego, have 3 BMWs; 7 series, 3 series, and an i3. I'm working as the Chief Innovation Officer with my company now and one day I will he CEO. I've got my goals set and my 24/7 manic *** will most likely hit that goal.

I still struggle with being happy and constantly feel this overwhelming boredom with life in general. Sometimes for no reason at all. But no one is perfect right?
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Old 02-17-2019, 05:31 AM   #9
TheLonelyChemist
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I've been there and know exactly how you feel. I dropped my computer programming major and went into business. After writing my first basic program I knew it wasn't for me. Don't think you can't change career paths even if you got your degree in it. There's tons of people with a second major.

I've changed career types throughout my 20's. But nothing felt more fun than running a company. The classification of manic is "thinking" they can do anything. Well I don't just think but I get it done with the help of everyone below me.

To help cheer you up, I went from eating 10 cent packets of ramen soup, rice, and beans during college. All while living with a roommate in a cheap apartment. I drove a car I bought for $400 and It would back fired all the time. Driving in a residential neighborhood and seeing people hit the deck after the massive loud *** boom, made me laugh everytime. I now own my own house in San Diego, have 3 BMWs; 7 series, 3 series, and an i3. I'm working as the Chief Innovation Officer with my company now and one day I will he CEO. I've got my goals set and my 24/7 manic *** will most likely hit that goal.

I still struggle with being happy and constantly feel this overwhelming boredom with life in general. Sometimes for no reason at all. But no one is perfect right?
Computer programming, like many other sciences, is one of the things I enjoy the most. I am glad, notwithstanding that, you could be successful. God bless you and may you prosper even more. And yes, nobody is perfect. Thanks for your input.
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Old 02-17-2019, 05:34 AM   #10
TheLonelyChemist
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TBH House was kind of a jerk. I am glad you are not like him.
He was indeed a self-made jerk. All because of several reasons. One is that in science you learn to not give a damn about anything or anyone. He had a rough childhood and was actually a bastard (acccording to House wiki) so he said 'screw friends and family' and wanted to live a solitary life. But in reality he was saving lives by being a jerk. How wonderful is that?
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