Trust Issues whatís wrong with me? - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-02-2019, 10:03 PM #1
lovejones24 lovejones24 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Chicago
Posts: 15
lovejones24 lovejones24 is offline
Junior Member
lovejones24 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Chicago
Posts: 15

13 hugs
given
Angry Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

Okay so I donít know whatís wrong with me. I means I do but then again i dont. It feels like I canít trust anyone and I donít want to tbh. So Idek why Iím posting this maybe I want my feelings to feel valid like maybe someone else gets it. I feel overly sensitive bc in college I had the most female friends Iíve ever had in life. I went to an all girls high school and was a loner. College I decided to give females a shot. When I met the girls there were already red flags I decided to ignore which I have a habit of doing. I have a habit of seeing the best Ik ppl even when itís not there. And to make a long story short a lot of the girls took my kindness for weakness and when I wld confront them or speak up they were shocked bc they thought I was an imbecile or something. They tried to jump me they set me up to be sexually assaulted basically and just too much. I was always a loner in grade and high school. I thought college wld be different. Also I was always bullied by other girls in school and I had no idea you cld be an adult and get bullied. Anyways fast forward to 2018 I went through the darkest depression and I isolated myself from my whole college. And ended up leaving the school. Then the crazy part is my oldest sister whoís ten years older than me turned out to be a narcissistic sociopath. Who basically love bombed me into staying with her only to beat me up with her words and use me for her own monetary benefit. Smh. I have a best friend but itís like I have trust issues and Iím withdrawing from her. It seems so petty to be mad but I kind of feel like she isnít really a great friend like she says bc she never visited me at her college but I visited her. And then I spent ton of money on her for her birthdays but I didnít get anything and I know you shldnt give to get back but I do value reciprocation! I like to get back the same I put in. Itís like when she was lonely and hurting thatís when she needed me but now that she has a car and a great job she doesnít need me anymore. And honestly I donít have the energy for this anymore. I donít have the energy to make friendships work. Bc no matter if you tell someone youíre wounded they donít gaf theyíre only looking for what they can get out of you. I donít think everyone is like this I just donít have the energy to wear my heart on my sleeve and let ppl in and then theyhurte so badly again. I do believe I have trust issues but I really donít want friends anymore. Iím fine being alone. Sometimes I get those days I wish I cld have a good friendship but then I donít care anymore.
lovejones24 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-03-2019, 03:25 AM #2
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Thirty shades is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,079
Thirty shades Thirty shades is offline
Poohbah
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Much love to all
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,079 (SuperPoster!)

6,098 hugs
given
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

So sorry you have had to go through that.

Bullies have super ego's...
They are responsible for their actions

Be your own best friend....
Thirty shades is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-03-2019, 09:03 AM #3
mountainstream mountainstream is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,486
mountainstream mountainstream is offline
Poohbah
mountainstream has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,486

10 yr Member
461 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

mountainstream is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-03-2019, 10:35 AM #4
Emily Fox Seaton's Avatar
Emily Fox Seaton Emily Fox Seaton is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Senegal
Posts: 1,283
Emily Fox Seaton Emily Fox Seaton is offline
Poohbah
Emily Fox Seaton's Avatar
Emily Fox Seaton has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Senegal
Posts: 1,283

2 yr Member
275 hugs
given
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovejones24 View Post
. And honestly I donít have the energy for this anymore. I donít have the energy to make friendships work. Bc no matter if you tell someone youíre wounded they donít gaf theyíre only looking for what they can get out of you.
I feel the same. I can't decide if people that don't feel this way actually do have good friends OR are just very forgiving.

My boss is an extrovert and I said to him the other day that if Hitler walked into room my boss would say he was a "good guy". He said no but I think it is true. He just doesn't seem to have the capacity that I do to be able to hold grudges or to really recognize when someone has been using him. Consequently it seems he is beloved.... but widely used. But he doesn't care about that.

I wonder sometimes if this is the key... just making myself less able to notice when people are not my friend and not caring about them using me.. but, I can't. I am just "smarter" than most people and I can see these things.

I want friends, I really do. And I am a good friend. But I cannot tolerate people using me or betraying me or liking other people better than me. So I would rather be alone. No matter what trials that makes for me.
Emily Fox Seaton is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-03-2019, 10:43 AM #5
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 79,413
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 79,413 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
51.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
So sorry you have had to go through that.

Bullies have super ego's...
They are responsible for their actions

Be your own best friend....
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-03-2019, 01:22 PM #6
Goforward Goforward is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 136
Goforward Goforward is offline
Member
Goforward has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 136

252 hugs
given
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

It's tough going through life without friends. At the same time bad friends aren't worth it either. Maybe give your not so good friend space for a while but keep yourself open to new friends. There are good people out there willing to share. Here's to hope.
Goforward is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-03-2019, 07:20 PM #7
lovejones24 lovejones24 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Chicago
Posts: 15
lovejones24 lovejones24 is offline
Junior Member
lovejones24 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Chicago
Posts: 15

13 hugs
given
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
I feel the same. I can't decide if people that don't feel this way actually do have good friends OR are just very forgiving.

My boss is an extrovert and I said to him the other day that if Hitler walked into room my boss would say he was a "good guy". He said no but I think it is true. He just doesn't seem to have the capacity that I do to be able to hold grudges or to really recognize when someone has been using him. Consequently it seems he is beloved.... but widely used. But he doesn't care about that.

I wonder sometimes if this is the key... just making myself less able to notice when people are not my friend and not caring about them using me.. but, I can't. I am just "smarter" than most people and I can see these things.

I want friends, I really do. And I am a good friend. But I cannot tolerate people using me or betraying me or liking other people better than me. So I would rather be alone. No matter what trials that makes for me.
Sameeee. I can totally relate.
lovejones24 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-14-2019, 04:14 PM #8
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 79,413
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 79,413 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
51.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-14-2019, 04:23 PM #9
mountainstream mountainstream is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,486
mountainstream mountainstream is offline
Poohbah
mountainstream has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,486

10 yr Member
461 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

mountainstream is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-15-2019, 12:51 AM #10
Haunted Rain Haunted Rain is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 13
Haunted Rain Haunted Rain is offline
Junior Member
Haunted Rain has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 13

2 hugs
given
Default Re: Trust Issues whatís wrong with me?

People who are easy to be taken advantage of often put out a vibe of being such a person. It could be body language, it could be the way you speak about yourself or something else. But it puts out a signal to users that lets them know 'hey, come take advantage'.

Like many things, moderation is the key. Finding the best in people is a wonderful trait, actually, but that doesn't mean it's wise to let it run rampant. Balancing it with learning how to spot red flags, and also acting on them, can eliminate a lot of problems.

Everyone can be subject to getting taken advantage of so don't forget that.

The books Boundaries and Toxic People by Townsend/Cloud may help you.
There are good people out there, you simply need to learn to be more discerning. I often end up going long periods of time with no friends since i try to be pickier about who i let in. I do get lonely, and sometimes i still make a bad choice, but i'm also not taken advantage of frequently and i'm still able to make friends.
__________________
I can never be all that you want from me
And I am broken, I will fail you constantly
Haunted Rain is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:37 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please Read the full Disclaimer.