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Old 01-28-2019, 07:37 AM   #1
Sisabel
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Default Feeling really down

Iíve been trying to find a counselor in my area but so far no luck. My insurance coverage for counseling is not very good. I havenít had good experiences with counseling in the past but I think I should at least try again.

I am really feeling sad. Not sure if I have sunk into a depression or itís just sadness.

I should probably stay off Facebook. All weekend I kept looking at pictures of happy families... friends getting together...
I have neither.

Hubby is my best friend. We are both estranged from family... history of abuse... we had similar upbringings... we can understand and be supportive of each other. Iím very fortunate that way. But hubby wonít socialize at all. He doesnít want friendships or a social life and I feel isolated.

I go out a lot on my own to try and meet people and make friends. I donít have any close friends though. Not really. I always find myself being available to lean on for others but when I need somebody to lean on, they are busy.

I have pulled back from people. I listen to their stories. I try to say nice things. I say very little about myself anymore. When I do share anything about myself, I instantly feel regret. I feel like I am setting myself up for more judgment and more relationship failures when I open up even a little bit to anyone.

Do you ever feel like just giving up and accepting things as they are? Is that giving up or is it acceptance?
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Old 01-28-2019, 08:13 AM   #2
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I'm so sorry, Sisabel I know how you feel. I think you're handling all of this pretty well. I'm glad you've decided to start counseling again. I hope you'll be able to find a good counselor soon. Please don't give up. I agree with you about staying away from Facebook and social media in general, if you can. Social media can make us feel even more lonelier than we already feel. Try to avoid it if you can. I think it's great that you're trying to meet new people! I'm sorry you haven't had much luck so far. Please don't give up. Hopefully you'll be able to meet someone who will listen to you and understand you. In the meantime, you have us. I know it's not the same thing as having a support system IRL, but at least it's something. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Keep writing here if it helps. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-28-2019, 08:43 AM   #3
katydid777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Iíve been trying to find a counselor in my area but so far no luck. My insurance coverage for counseling is not very good. I havenít had good experiences with counseling in the past but I think I should at least try again.

I am really feeling sad. Not sure if I have sunk into a depression or itís just sadness.

I should probably stay off Facebook. All weekend I kept looking at pictures of happy families... friends getting together...
I have neither.

Hubby is my best friend. We are both estranged from family... history of abuse... we had similar upbringings... we can understand and be supportive of each other. Iím very fortunate that way. But hubby wonít socialize at all. He doesnít want friendships or a social life and I feel isolated.

I go out a lot on my own to try and meet people and make friends. I donít have any close friends though. Not really. I always find myself being available to lean on for others but when I need somebody to lean on, they are busy.

I have pulled back from people. I listen to their stories. I try to say nice things. I say very little about myself anymore. When I do share anything about myself, I instantly feel regret. I feel like I am setting myself up for more judgment and more relationship failures when I open up even a little bit to anyone.

Do you ever feel like just giving up and accepting things as they are? Is that giving up or is it acceptance?
I am similar at this point in my life. My H, and I are getting along better now, but he keeps him self busy with projects around the house, so he don't have to deal with any thing else. We don't socialize. My alcoholic brother lives with us, and it is difficult to deal with him daily. I also have a lot of history of being abused for most of my life. My H grew up in a very disfunctional family, and he drank a lot, but has quit now, so we do get along better now. I have had so much trouble last year with T's, and P Doc's that I have been weening my self off the meds, and I am quitting the P Doc's. I am not sure yet if I will keep the T I have. I also am at the point of just letting everything go. At this point I don't know if this is good, or bad for me. I guess only time will tell. Right now I feel as though I am just here, not living, just here. If that makes any sense to you? I have even had a hard time being on here bc I have been so negative for awhile. I am sorry you are having such a hard time, and I do understand.
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Old 01-28-2019, 09:10 AM   #4
Sisabel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777 View Post
I am similar at this point in my life. My H, and I are getting along better now, but he keeps him self busy with projects around the house, so he don't have to deal with any thing else. We don't socialize. My alcoholic brother lives with us, and it is difficult to deal with him daily. I also have a lot of history of being abused for most of my life. My H grew up in a very disfunctional family, and he drank a lot, but has quit now, so we do get along better now. I have had so much trouble last year with T's, and P Doc's that I have been weening my self off the meds, and I am quitting the P Doc's. I am not sure yet if I will keep the T I have. I also am at the point of just letting everything go. At this point I don't know if this is good, or bad for me. I guess only time will tell. Right now I feel as though I am just here, not living, just here. If that makes any sense to you? I have even had a hard time being on here bc I have been so negative for awhile. I am sorry you are having such a hard time, and I do understand.


I understand what you mean about not wanting to be negative. I try to post positive replies for other people and I try to ignore my negativity I guess. I do understand what you mean about feeling like youíre just here and thatís about it for the time being. Feeling really down I tried meds and counseling and it didnít work but Iím not exactly thriving without meds and counseling either.
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Old 01-28-2019, 09:34 AM   #5
katydid777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
I understand what you mean about not wanting to be negative. I try to post positive replies for other people and I try to ignore my negativity I guess. I do understand what you mean about feeling like youíre just here and thatís about it for the time being. Feeling really down I tried meds and counseling and it didnít work but Iím not exactly thriving without meds and counseling either.
With me, at this point, if I felt like I was being helped instead of just being passed around, and staying with the meds that have proven to help me, bc each new P Doc. has changed the meds last year, if it had stayed the way it was bc it was helping, I would keep at it. But I no longer feel like this place is looking out for my best interest, only there's. So until I find that again, I will do my best to keep going on my own, and with the support of PC, bc you all do help me a lot, and I am very glad to be a part of PC. Hang in there, I do believe we both will make it through this ruff spot in our lives, but it may take a little time. Please don't give up! I am right there with you, maybe not in body, but in spirit!!! (((((((GREAT BIG HUGS)))))))
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Old 01-28-2019, 10:00 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777 View Post
With me, at this point, if I felt like I was being helped instead of just being passed around, and staying with the meds that have proven to help me, bc each new P Doc. has changed the meds last year, if it had stayed the way it was bc it was helping, I would keep at it. But I no longer feel like this place is looking out for my best interest, only there's. So until I find that again, I will do my best to keep going on my own, and with the support of PC, bc you all do help me a lot, and I am very glad to be a part of PC. Hang in there, I do believe we both will make it through this ruff spot in our lives, but it may take a little time. Please don't give up! I am right there with you, maybe not in body, but in spirit!!! (((((((GREAT BIG HUGS)))))))
I sent you a pm, if you want to chat?
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Old 01-28-2019, 10:59 AM   #7
Sisabel
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Default Re: Feeling really down

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777 View Post
With me, at this point, if I felt like I was being helped instead of just being passed around, and staying with the meds that have proven to help me, bc each new P Doc. has changed the meds last year, if it had stayed the way it was bc it was helping, I would keep at it. But I no longer feel like this place is looking out for my best interest, only there's. So until I find that again, I will do my best to keep going on my own, and with the support of PC, bc you all do help me a lot, and I am very glad to be a part of PC. Hang in there, I do believe we both will make it through this ruff spot in our lives, but it may take a little time. Please don't give up! I am right there with you, maybe not in body, but in spirit!!! (((((((GREAT BIG HUGS)))))))


Thank you. PC does help. ((((((HUG))))))
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Old 01-28-2019, 11:38 AM   #8
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Default Re: Feeling really down

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Iíve been trying to find a counselor in my area but so far no luck. My insurance coverage for counseling is not very good. I havenít had good experiences with counseling in the past but I think I should at least try again.

I am really feeling sad. Not sure if I have sunk into a depression or itís just sadness.

I should probably stay off Facebook. All weekend I kept looking at pictures of happy families... friends getting together...
I have neither.

Hubby is my best friend. We are both estranged from family... history of abuse... we had similar upbringings... we can understand and be supportive of each other. Iím very fortunate that way. But hubby wonít socialize at all. He doesnít want friendships or a social life and I feel isolated.

I go out a lot on my own to try and meet people and make friends. I donít have any close friends though. Not really. I always find myself being available to lean on for others but when I need somebody to lean on, they are busy.

I have pulled back from people. I listen to their stories. I try to say nice things. I say very little about myself anymore. When I do share anything about myself, I instantly feel regret. I feel like I am setting myself up for more judgment and more relationship failures when I open up even a little bit to anyone.

Do you ever feel like just giving up and accepting things as they are? Is that giving up or is it acceptance?
Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777 View Post
Right now I feel as though I am just here, not living, just here.
Sisabel--Sorry you are feeling so down.

I am sorry about your insurance but having gone to therapy, have come to believe that counseling only helps so much. I think people get depressed because of trauma, unmet needs, cognitive dissonance--that kind of thing. A therapist can help you sort out feelings about past trauma then once you do that, I feel like they can't really "fix" anything--though they can listen if there is no one else to or if you are in the middle of a traumatic event, therapy is also good for that too.

But if you know what is wrong and can't seem to change it--therapy is downright depressing! This is where I am at right now in my life. I have no desire to be a broken record anymore.

I stay of FB and come to PC much less. My family is broken. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I am embarrassed and am not trying to work much other than the minimum at my part time job and my upcoming Spring remote job scoring (no interaction with people). One of my depressants is emotional novocaine (as Still Crazy aptly describes it) and the other one gives me just enough of a boost to do what must be done. Yes, for now I have given up and am just accepting things as they are. We are all part of the same club!!
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Old 01-28-2019, 12:10 PM   #9
katydid777
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Quote:
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Sisabel--Sorry you are feeling so down.

I am sorry about your insurance but having gone to therapy, have come to believe that counseling only helps so much. I think people get depressed because of trauma, unmet needs, cognitive dissonance--that kind of thing. A therapist can help you sort out feelings about past trauma then once you do that, I feel like they can't really "fix" anything--though they can listen if there is no one else to or if you are in the middle of a traumatic event, therapy is also good for that too.

But if you know what is wrong and can't seem to change it--therapy is downright depressing! This is where I am at right now in my life. I have no desire to be a broken record anymore.

I stay of FB and come to PC much less. My family is broken. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I am embarrassed and am not trying to work much other than the minimum at my part time job and my upcoming Spring remote job scoring (no interaction with people). One of my depressants is emotional novocaine (as Still Crazy aptly describes it) and the other one gives me just enough of a boost to do what must be done. Yes, for now I have given up and am just accepting things as they are. We are all part of the same club!!
I hope things get better for you. If I didn't know better, I would think a lot of us are from the same family, and in a way we are, we are all a part of the PC family!
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Old 01-28-2019, 12:14 PM   #10
Sisabel
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Quote:
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Sisabel--Sorry you are feeling so down.



I am sorry about your insurance but having gone to therapy, have come to believe that counseling only helps so much. I think people get depressed because of trauma, unmet needs, cognitive dissonance--that kind of thing. A therapist can help you sort out feelings about past trauma then once you do that, I feel like they can't really "fix" anything--though they can listen if there is no one else to or if you are in the middle of a traumatic event, therapy is also good for that too.



But if you know what is wrong and can't seem to change it--therapy is downright depressing! This is where I am at right now in my life. I have no desire to be a broken record anymore.



I stay of FB and come to PC much less. My family is broken. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I am embarrassed and am not trying to work much other than the minimum at my part time job and my upcoming Spring remote job scoring (no interaction with people). One of my depressants is emotional novocaine (as Still Crazy aptly describes it) and the other one gives me just enough of a boost to do what must be done. Yes, for now I have given up and am just accepting things as they are. We are all part of the same club!!


Awwww. Nowinners Iím sorry you are feeling this way too. What you said makes sense about counselors. I guess since I am aware of my problems.... and nothing is really going to change... and I have to do the work of making myself happy... that would explain why therapy hasnít helped much. I hope you are feeling better soon.
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