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Old 01-26-2019, 02:34 PM   #1
Thirty shades
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Default Being born

Why am I here...
A different egg or sperm and I would not suffer so...

Maybe it would have made no difference because I would of had the same parents....

Would a stronger egg or sperm have been able to cope better?
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Old 01-26-2019, 04:52 PM   #2
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Old 01-26-2019, 08:37 PM   #3
annoyedgrunt84
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Being depressed doesn’t mean you’re weak. Getting through depression takes a great deal of strength.
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Old 01-26-2019, 11:03 PM   #4
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Hang in there Thirty shades please, and keep pluggin' away. Who knows - a different sperm and you could've wound up in a worse life. I guess I'm trying to say, every cloud has a silver lining :/

You'll be okay, this darkness will pass.
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:27 AM   #5
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thirty shades....suffering..
how can we help you
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Old 01-27-2019, 05:41 AM   #6
Thirty shades
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Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
thirty shades....suffering..
how can we help you
My mother always blamed me for being born.

I was not the child she wanted. She wanted a dolly she could have control over.

I cried as a baby, baby TS new she was not loved...

She has passed now but all my life she would refer to that time saying "It is a wonder we both survived."
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Old 01-27-2019, 10:09 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
My mother always blamed me for being born.

I was not the child she wanted. She wanted a dolly she could have control over.

I cried as a baby, baby TS new she was not loved...

She has passed now but all my life she would refer to that time saying "It is a wonder we both survived."
I was not the child my parents wanted either. I was not good looking enough and I was gay. I was treated with neglect and abuse up until my mother passed.

Since then, I've had difficulty because she was so controlling and uncaring that in many ways my life revolved around her. I am trying to find my way but there are so many obstacles.

I have recently ordered a book on CEN - Childhood Emotional Neglect - and its affects. Have you visited that forum here at PC?
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Old 01-27-2019, 03:34 PM   #8
Thirty shades
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LifelongLoner View Post
I have recently ordered a book on CEN - Childhood Emotional Neglect - and its affects. Have you visited that forum here at PC?
Do you have a link please?
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Old 01-27-2019, 11:30 PM   #9
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Honestly .. when the thought comes in your head "I am not the child she wanted" reword it "She was not the mother I wanted either .. but, none of us get exactly what we want from people because nobody is perfect"

Childhood emotional neglect leaves scars on us that never totally go away, but we can learn to use them for our betterment rather than our detriment. First thing is learning how to re-route those negative messages you hear though.

For instance, some of mine were:
"You will never amount to anything."
"You are a disappointment."

I had to change those things to
"I can do what I choose to put an effort in."
"You disappointed me too, but we both survived."

Then just pushed through until I understood those things to be true.

I wrote out my feelings as to what had happened and how it had happened and what I would like to have happen so I could move on.

Things like that helped me heal.

Later you find ways to give yourself strength and/or purpose using that past hurt. It helps heal you further and empowers you too. ❤
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Old 01-27-2019, 11:51 PM   #10
Desiree2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Why am I here...
A different egg or sperm and I would not suffer so...

Maybe it would have made no difference because I would of had the same parents....

Would a stronger egg or sperm have been able to cope better?
I too ask myself why am I here....why was I born? Only to suffer? So unfair! I wish I was never born.
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