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Old 01-23-2019, 12:34 PM   #1
S leigheas
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Trig I've kinda been a mess

I've been a mess lately. I have an appointment to get to in less than an hour and I'm still in bed. I don't want to go. I can barely take my dog for a walk and it's a piss poor attempt of a walk. It's not fair to her. I can't even bother to get dressed out of these clothes I've had on for three or four days. I stink but I don't care to shower. My dog won't hardly leave my side most of the day. It's like she can tell where my mind is at.

Possible trigger:


I just want to breathe. And damn it... I just want it to stop.
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:24 PM   #2
MickeyCheeky
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Default Re: I've kinda been a mess

I'm so sorry, S leigheas I know how things have been hard for you lately. Please don't give up. I'm here for you, my friend. If you ever need to talk or vent, contact me. I'll do whathever I can to listen and support you. I'm so sorry to see you like this, you're the last person in the world that deserves to feel like this. But I know you can do this. You've been through this already, and you've always been a winner. You ARE a winner. If you're feeling suicidal, please call an hotline or go to the hospital. Anything that can help you survive even for a short while. One step at the time. Stay safe and take care of yourself, my friend. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-23-2019, 02:50 PM   #3
mote.of.soul
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Default Re: I've kinda been a mess

No, S leigheas please. If you do we'll honestly all be devastated.

But if you don't mind me suggesting; try to hop up, have a cup of coffee, drag yourself over to the shower, your lovely dog needs her walking - and you will have achieved something good for the day.

You can do it (((S leigheas))).
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:14 PM   #4
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Default Re: I've kinda been a mess

(((((((( So leigheas )))))))))
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:24 PM   #5
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Default Re: I've kinda been a mess

Quote:
Originally Posted by S leigheas View Post
I've been a mess lately. I have an appointment to get to in less than an hour and I'm still in bed. I don't want to go. I can barely take my dog for a walk and it's a piss poor attempt of a walk. It's not fair to her. I can't even bother to get dressed out of these clothes I've had on for three or four days. I stink but I don't care to shower. My dog won't hardly leave my side most of the day. It's like she can tell where my mind is at.

Possible trigger:


I just want to breathe. And damn it... I just want it to stop.
Please, please reach out for help.

You're not alone. Confidential help is available for free.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
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Old 01-23-2019, 06:26 PM   #6
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Default Re: I've kinda been a mess

This can get better, your mind is telling you lies. Find something you can focus on to interrupt the dark thoughts. One time I was able to stop them by focusing on the cold tile under my feet on the kitchen floor. Its good that you have a dog, it needs you to stick around and take care of it.
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Old 01-24-2019, 03:15 AM   #7
S leigheas
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Default Re: I've kinda been a mess

I'm awake at 1am. Been a while.

You know, I lost twenty pounds in less than two months? My appetite has been nonexistent.

I've really slid....

Re-reading this thread, seeing my current weight, having to lie through my teeth at my pdoc appointment, having a violent flashback, dealing with **** knows how many panic attacks and having another meltdown (now it's two days in a row); have made me realize that I might actually be in a crisis stage.
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"My hands did these things, but I was never easy in my mind."
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Old 01-24-2019, 04:56 PM   #8
Thirty shades
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I would miss you S leigheas
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