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Old 01-22-2019, 11:08 PM   #1
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Tired of people on and offline getting irritated at me for reasons I don't understand. Tired of feeling like I must just not be good enough, nice enough, smart enough, or just plain "enough". Tired of feeling I'm nothing to nobody, unless they want to get upset at me. I know there's a few exceptions to my "nobody" and etc statements so please don't come at me correcting me for that. You can tell me if you are one exception (of course I may already know ❤) but don't just correct my wording please, that is very triggering for me and tonight I just truly don't feel like making the extra little effort to refrain from absolute words, so just let me indulge this once, ok?

Truly I just feel I wish I could be done. I have no more energy. My enthusiasm is gone. Everything just feels empty to me again..
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Old 01-23-2019, 01:15 AM   #2
mote.of.soul
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Yes, I know those feelings to a certain extent, as well Crypts_Of_The_Mind - I really do.

For me, it's like I can see the tunnel and I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, but it never gets closer - in fact it's getting further away just like in a bad dream.

Anyway, you're not alone and tomorrow will be another day. Perhaps you'll be feeling a bit more optimistic too.
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:25 AM   #3
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I can empathise with you here. People can be so cruel.

IRL they have no understanding of what it is like for us and that we don't actively choose to be AS IS.

Online they don't give a second thought to who they are typing to. Who cares if we spell a word wrong. They understood the word enough to correct it. They have an ego with a problem.

Crypts_Of_The_Mind you are smart, (I only have seen you post recently) your posts are intelligent and insightful. You are nice and kind enough always supporting others.

Others makes us feel like we are the problem but we are not. We have the right to be AS IS. We are nicer, kinder and more caring than people who trigger us.

I am finding some relief from learning to be my own friend. When the pain comes, I stop, try to relax and focus on the pain inside. I ask it kindly would it like to be my friend. I bond with it and it subsides.

Much love to you
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Old 01-23-2019, 04:53 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mote.of.soul View Post
Yes, I know those feelings to a certain extent, as well Crypts_Of_The_Mind - I really do.

For me, it's like I can see the tunnel and I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, but it never gets closer - in fact it's getting further away just like in a bad dream.

Anyway, you're not alone and tomorrow will be another day. Perhaps you'll be feeling a bit more optimistic too.
If I can get sleep I probably will be ok, yes.
I am sorry you feel as you do .. is it at times or all the time? I ask bc what you describe was the hopeless feeling I once had all the time. If it's only sometimes, I hope now is not one of those times. ❤
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:10 AM   #5
MickeyCheeky
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I'm so sorry, Crypts_Of_The_Mind Just remember that you are "enough", by simply being yourself. I'm so sorry you're being treated this way, you don't deserve it at all. I hope you'll feel better soon. Try to hang on. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I hope things will get better for you soon. Please don't give up. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm here if you want to talk. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:10 AM   #6
sarahsweets
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind View Post
Tired of people on and offline getting irritated at me for reasons I don't understand. Tired of feeling like I must just not be good enough, nice enough, smart enough, or just plain "enough". Tired of feeling I'm nothing to nobody, unless they want to get upset at me. I know there's a few exceptions to my "nobody" and etc statements so please don't come at me correcting me for that. You can tell me if you are one exception (of course I may already know ❤) but don't just correct my wording please, that is very triggering for me and tonight I just truly don't feel like making the extra little effort to refrain from absolute words, so just let me indulge this once, ok?

Truly I just feel I wish I could be done. I have no more energy. My enthusiasm is gone. Everything just feels empty to me again..
But you ARE enough. You are just right.
You are NOT:
Lazy, crazy, stupid,terrible, horrible,awful,horrid, evil,useless,worthless,unloveable, unworthy or insignificant.
You are human,
you have flaws,
you have gifts.
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:35 AM   #7
mote.of.soul
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind View Post
If I can get sleep I probably will be ok, yes.
I am sorry you feel as you do .. is it at times or all the time? I ask bc what you describe was the hopeless feeling I once had all the time. If it's only sometimes, I hope now is not one of those times. ❤


Hi, thanks Crypts_Of_The_Mind. If I'm to be honest, now is one of those times, but there are other times when I manage to convince myself through self talk that everything's okay. But it's basically a daily cycle of this. Thanks all the same though, I mean, we can only do our best. It's mental illness.

I hope things will change for you soon though, and you manage to get a good nights sleep. Yes, that can make a difference.

I'm glad PC is here.
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:38 AM   #8
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
I can empathise with you here. People can be so cruel.

IRL they have no understanding of what it is like for us and that we don't actively choose to be AS IS.

Online they don't give a second thought to who they are typing to. Who cares if we spell a word wrong. They understood the word enough to correct it. They have an ego with a problem.

Crypts_Of_The_Mind you are smart, (I only have seen you post recently) your posts are intelligent and insightful. You are nice and kind enough always supporting others.

Others makes us feel like we are the problem but we are not. We have the right to be AS IS. We are nicer, kinder and more caring than people who trigger us.

I am finding some relief from learning to be my own friend. When the pain comes, I stop, try to relax and focus on the pain inside. I ask it kindly would it like to be my friend. I bond with it and it subsides.

Much love to you
People just seemed to literally be finding weird reasons to be upset with me. I read my husband a tweet the President had made (bc it was actually funny the way it was worded) and he got mad bc it happened to be the President who wrote it - which yes, he is not a fan of the guy but it'd never made him mad before. A person online got mad bc I disagreed with something they said and kept ending with "I stand firmly behind what I said" but she kept at me anyway and then claimed I instigated it - we later resolved it but 3hrs of back and forth over crap you try to end before it begins kinda gets to you. Another person got upset at me bc I still stood firmly in my stance on that subject after that argument (and this person was not even in the argument and I tried to have a civil discussion). I would tell you exactly what it is but it has to do with my beliefs in the hereafter and we are not allowed to discuss those. And the thing they were upset over just made no logical sense. To give a comparison - it's like we are taught it is polite to say hello and smile when greeting someone and to do the same in response when being greeted, right? Now imagine one of your friends saying "I've been reading this handbook concerning the true good manners and behaviors we should show toward one another - it appears (though it doesn't say it outright) to imply we should only smile when greeting one another if we have familial ties, otherwise we may inadvertently suggest we are flirting or otherwise attracted to them and therefore open yourself up to more happening." That was the same concept of what was being discussed. I was taking the position that the "implied message" simply was not there, and for the little bit of an undertone I could see it making sense, it was not enough to connect all the dots, therefore they were simply trying to add an idea based upon their very narrow view of it. It just really blew my mind how they can come up with something like that. I mean, seriously .. how does one twist information to come to a conclusion that twisted? I tried to be polite about it though .. and I was just like nowhere in there does it even hint that, you are adding to it and when you add to it and convince mass amounts of people it's true (because this was in a group setting), you risk having a cult-like atmosphere or developing your own offshoot of this particular belief (which was not the intent). That got me book length responses to why I was wrong. I said I stood behind what I stated. Got another book length response. Like I said, this went on for hours. Didn't make sense then - still makes no sense now.

I mean yes, even in the example I gave you - if you stretch your mind, and/or put in a select few of the population, the statement would be true. Does that mean all of us should never smile at anyone who has no familial tie to us bc somehow an attraction may begin? I think that's a huge leap of the mind to take. And that's sincerely the type of thing that got 2 people mad at me online.
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:24 PM   #9
Thirty shades
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind View Post
People just seemed to literally be finding weird reasons to be upset with me. I read my husband a tweet the President had made (bc it was actually funny the way it was worded) and he got mad bc it happened to be the President who wrote it - which yes, he is not a fan of the guy but it'd never made him mad before. A person online got mad bc I disagreed with something they said and kept ending with "I stand firmly behind what I said" but she kept at me anyway and then claimed I instigated it - we later resolved it but 3hrs of back and forth over crap you try to end before it begins kinda gets to you. Another person got upset at me bc I still stood firmly in my stance on that subject after that argument (and this person was not even in the argument and I tried to have a civil discussion). I would tell you exactly what it is but it has to do with my beliefs in the hereafter and we are not allowed to discuss those. And the thing they were upset over just made no logical sense. To give a comparison - it's like we are taught it is polite to say hello and smile when greeting someone and to do the same in response when being greeted, right? Now imagine one of your friends saying "I've been reading this handbook concerning the true good manners and behaviors we should show toward one another - it appears (though it doesn't say it outright) to imply we should only smile when greeting one another if we have familial ties, otherwise we may inadvertently suggest we are flirting or otherwise attracted to them and therefore open yourself up to more happening." That was the same concept of what was being discussed. I was taking the position that the "implied message" simply was not there, and for the little bit of an undertone I could see it making sense, it was not enough to connect all the dots, therefore they were simply trying to add an idea based upon their very narrow view of it. It just really blew my mind how they can come up with something like that. I mean, seriously .. how does one twist information to come to a conclusion that twisted? I tried to be polite about it though .. and I was just like nowhere in there does it even hint that, you are adding to it and when you add to it and convince mass amounts of people it's true (because this was in a group setting), you risk having a cult-like atmosphere or developing your own offshoot of this particular belief (which was not the intent). That got me book length responses to why I was wrong. I said I stood behind what I stated. Got another book length response. Like I said, this went on for hours. Didn't make sense then - still makes no sense now.

I mean yes, even in the example I gave you - if you stretch your mind, and/or put in a select few of the population, the statement would be true. Does that mean all of us should never smile at anyone who has no familial tie to us bc somehow an attraction may begin? I think that's a huge leap of the mind to take. And that's sincerely the type of thing that got 2 people mad at me online.
Our smile is a huge part of communication. It doesn't mean you are flirting in itself. Smiling shows you are happy, it can be a warm welcome etc...
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Old 01-23-2019, 05:51 PM   #10
Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Our smile is a huge part of communication. It doesn't mean you are flirting in itself. Smiling shows you are happy, it can be a warm welcome etc...
That was a close example bc I cannot tell you the real thing bc it has to do with my beliefs concerning the hereafter and we are not allowed to speak on that. Basically - the people were saying we could not kiss until married bc if we did that was (1) foreplay and (2) similar to incestuous relationship in spiritual terms bc of the way people within the belief are referenced (only brother/sister or husband/wife .. no other references within the main texts)

I thought it quite ridiculous.

Kissing is used for a whole slew of things other than that, almost a form of communication of a type. To say "wow! Thank you So much!" , to say "hi/bye/good morning/good night" to say "i love you" (not "i lust for you"), to say "its going to be ok", etc So ... yea. It got into a big war of sorts.
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