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Old 01-21-2019, 07:36 PM   #1
annoyedgrunt84
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Default Feel completely alienated

I feel like Iím a pariah to the whole of humanity. It is so hard to explain but I guess the feeling I have is one of being completely isolated. People are polite to me and I try very hard to be polite back, but I have a nagging feeling that they have a deep and guttural hatred for me and I really donít know why. I feel like Iím so hopelessly awkward, I try to say something casual but maybe it comes off as rude? I try to share my interests with people but feel like Iím boring them or coming off as a know-it-all. There are times I wish I could just stay in the house forever and not have to interact with anyone, but then I do get so lonely.
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Old 01-21-2019, 07:56 PM   #2
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

One of the first things I was taught in therapy was to test my thoughts. You know...reality and the image each one has in his head of that reality are not the same. Sometimes, there are such a distance between one and the other.
Are you having the opportunity to see a psychologist to talk about this issue?
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Old 01-21-2019, 10:05 PM   #3
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

Iíve been in therapy before. Iíve also tried online therapy before, but had trouble sticking to it. Iíve been considering starting up again but I really want to find something face to face. I am wanting to find something secular because I am not religious and that is hard to find in my part of the world.
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Old 01-22-2019, 05:27 AM   #4
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

Intrusive thoughts are normal for people with anxiety. They are not you, though. You are able to hear them and reject them for what they are. Just thoughts.

Not sure if you would be interested in this book / website? Or if you have seen it before?

Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA eBook: Pete Walker: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store
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Old 01-22-2019, 08:41 AM   #5
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

I have shut myself in , isolated myself . i have done it so much that now it is a huge challenge to leave my home even to go to the shop .
I feel lonely too . i wish i could give you some good advice . the only thing i can suggest is try to be kind to yourself , even try hard to love yourself , sonetimes ww need to at least like ourselves to believe that others can like us but hey i know too well that is easier says than done . i am a person who usually hates myself and beats myself up but recently I've tried being nice to me and i don't really know how i managed it but it is such a relief . i still have severe anxiety and agoraphobia but the depression is easing off a little for now anyway .i only hope it lasts
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Old 01-22-2019, 03:16 PM   #6
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Old 01-22-2019, 06:00 PM   #7
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

Have no positive words to say or solution, wish I did. Just to say I am the same. Same feelings and thoughts. The times I have them the least is when I am more dissociated, but they are still there, with less stress.
Therapy hasn't helped, medication didn't too, but dissociation is a big part of the problem that therapy doesn't help with nor medication. But at least we are not alone.
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Old 01-24-2019, 03:39 AM   #8
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

Just remember that feelings are not facts.
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Old 01-24-2019, 07:10 AM   #9
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I'm so sorry, annoyedgrun84 I can relate to what you wrote. But please remember that just because you feel that way, it doesn't mean it's necessarely true. Perhaps you're not coming off as rude or boring, but instead as charming or lovable. I think it would be useful to work oun your self-confidence and self-love. After all, we can't fully love others if we don't love ourselves first. As AzulOscuro has already said, I'd suggest therapy as well. I think there are also some good self-help books on the subject. Perhaps you coul try to take a look at them? Either way, I'm so sorry. I hope one day you'll be able to see yourself as the kind, lovable person you truly are. Please don't give up. Things can get better. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 01-24-2019, 08:10 AM   #10
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Default Re: Feel completely alienated

Yes, I see that religious implications may be a problem when you are not a believer.
Religion beliefs may be a great help for people but only if you feel it.
In that case, if you donít find very hard to communicate online with a therapist...I think in your case it would be worthy a try.

I understand you very well bc I have been also having all kinds of thoughts that invalidate me and I know you perceive them as very real. And yes, they can be responsible for your self-isolation. I did it. Thatís why I stress you so much in finding someone you can work a therapy with.
For me, it meant a great difference to be able to go out of my isolation.

Meanwhile, as Mickey said, there are self help books, webs and all kind of stuff in the net.
For example, I have a book about social skills and thereís a whole chapter dedicated to testing intrusive or distorted thoughts. Itís in Spanish though. But, sure...there are many others out there, in English.
Then, thereís a technique that can help you, Mindfulness. It can help you to identify all those different thoughts you receive, label them and put them in their place.
There are many webs about mindfulness and there are podcasts too,
so you can begin with guided exercises of mindfulness.

It called me the attention something from your first post. Do you question yourself about whether people hate you or about dislike you? The first one itís very hard with yourself. Too much.
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