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Old 01-03-2019, 04:25 PM   #11
HopefullyLost1211
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Today depression feels like being crushed.

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Old 01-03-2019, 04:26 PM   #12
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

For me it's mainly fatigue. I don't have the energy to do anything. I also can't focus much on anything.
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Old 01-03-2019, 04:27 PM   #13
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

I tried to describe it in a poem

Famine

Depression is a famine of the soul
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Old 01-03-2019, 04:39 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmina View Post
I tried to describe it in a poem

Famine

Depression is a famine of the soul
Wow Carmina. Thank you for sharing your poem. Would it surprise you if I call it beautiful? It is certainly filled with the darkness of depression but I found your self-expression and courage to share very beautiful. I have never thought of depression as like a famine but now that you have pointed that out, I find it very apt.

I am really struggling today but before I log off the forum for a while, I want to thank everyone on the thread for sharing your truth. I was struck by the uniqueness of each poster's experiences and I also find beauty in that. That said, if I could wave a wand for all of you and make your depression go away, I would. Take good care of yourselves. I may post more ideas later.

*Please note that I am intentionally not replying to this thread with suggestions for depression management because I don't think this is the place for that.* I think we folks living with depression need a place to simply share our candid truth. However, I've created several other threads with ideas and strategies for feeling better if you are interested.

Be well

"Hope"
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Old 01-03-2019, 08:54 PM   #15
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A type of pain that deadens everything and paints everything in the worst light. Any bad thing is magnified and worsens the feeling, while any good thing is viewed as suspect and temporary. There's also a sense of impending doom, as though things can suddenly become far worse with no notice.
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Old 01-03-2019, 09:09 PM   #16
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A type of pain that deadens everything and paints everything in the worst light. Any bad thing is magnified and worsens the feeling, while any good thing is viewed as suspect and temporary. There's also a sense of impending doom, as though things can suddenly become far worse with no notice.

I agree. Particularly about the "impending doom." That can sneak up on me out of nowhere for no apparent reason.
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Old 01-04-2019, 01:29 AM   #17
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Major depression feels to me like Iíve lost all of my loved ones and everything else that matters to me in life and all that is left is bleakness. Itís excruciating.
Hi Jennifer. Your comment here reminded me of the final part of a poem I really like. The poem's theme is a little different from our discussion but I thought I'd share it anyway in case you like it...

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.
What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.
What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded:
It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me - said all at once.

- Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure

Although she seems to be describing loss of someone else, I often think of depression as losing myself at times. I don't think there's anything more frightening to me than when strong "Hope" disappears and then I'm left with depressed "Hope" dwelling in the other dimension. So, if we re-read the poem and think of "him" as the self instead, then it's actually quite a good representation of how depression can feel like experiencing tremendous losses all at once.

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Old 01-04-2019, 01:48 AM   #18
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Trig Re: What does your depression feel like?

Did any Harry Potter fans feel reminded of depression when they encountered the Dementors?

And then the thing beneath the hood, whatever it was, drew a long, slow, rattling breath, as though it were trying to suck something more than air from its surroundings...
"It was horrible," said Neville, in a higher voice than usual. "Did you feel how cold it got when it came in?"
"I felt weird," said Ron, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably. "Like I'd never be cheerful again."


As soon as Ron said that I thought: Wow! That's what it feels like when I'm really depressed! I desperately tell myself this will pass just like all the other times throughout my life...but when I sink I truly feel as though I've entirely lost the capacity for joy.

Does anyone remember what one of the teachers recommended that Harry take for comfort after a Dementor attack?
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Old 01-04-2019, 02:05 AM   #19
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Any mothers or fathers on this thread? I am not a parent but when I read this poem I thought it sounded like post-partum depression...she seems to feel detached from the baby. There isn't an air of joy and bonding after the birth but rather distance or fear. I speculate of course. I have not experienced post-partum and can only imagine how confusing and painful that must be.

Morning Song

Love set you going like a fat gold watch.
The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry
Took its place among the elements.

Our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. New statue.
In a drafty museum, your nakedness
Shadows our safety. We stand round blankly as walls.

Iím no more your mother
Than the cloud that distills a mirror to reflect its own slow
Effacement at the windís hand.

All night your moth-breath
Flickers among the flat pink roses. I wake to listen:
A far sea moves in my ear.

One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow-heavy and floral
In my Victorian nightgown.
Your mouth opens clean as a catís. The window square

Whitens and swallows its dull stars. And now you try
Your handful of notes;
The clear vowels rise like balloons.


- Sylvia Plath
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Old 01-04-2019, 08:38 AM   #20
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My depression is a mislead and fearful saddening. I live knowing my life will only ever be so fulfilled. I live my life as if I have already died and will soon be forgotten. I live my life knowing that my oppressors are out there, separate from me and my home. I will continue to grasp at every thing life has to offer me and I will continue seeking self-discipline and forgiveness
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