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Old 10-10-2018, 05:18 AM   #531
raging vortex
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no sleep, really stiff back, confused over what day it is, unmotivated

not the best start to wednesday

hopefully today is better than yesterday though- I don't think anything could be worse.. I got so little done
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Old 10-10-2018, 09:09 AM   #532
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I have a doctor's appointment today. I had a terrible time getting dressed. My cat whined cause he wanted attention. With my limited mobility it takes me forever to get dressed. I'm so frustrated.
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Old 10-10-2018, 09:12 AM   #533
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deilla View Post
I have a doctor's appointment today. I had a terrible time getting dressed. My cat whined cause he wanted attention. With my limited mobility it takes me forever to get dressed. I'm so frustrated.
I hope your doctor appointment goes well. I can definitely relate to limited mobility. Itís frustrating.
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Old 10-10-2018, 09:38 AM   #534
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Improved a lot last night after reconciliation with S.O.
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Old 10-10-2018, 10:36 AM   #535
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Got my cast off today after 3 weeks which was great. My hand feels strange and is not fully functional. I guess I thought once the cast came off Iíd be set and ready to go. Not so.

I didnít sleep last night and am not doing well today.

Best wishes to all.
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Old 10-10-2018, 04:16 PM   #536
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I am writing mostly in the accountable thread for the time being. I'm feeling a bit sad and confused. I have had both positive and negative progress in my life since the summer. The positives are that I have added new activities into my life; participate in more social "things". The negatives are that I have put so much energy into the new activities that I have not been able to continue with my "old activities", among other relaxation exercises and physical morning activities.

I hope to manage better by being more and more clever to use a fixed schedule for each day. I think that it takes time to establish a new pattern.

It is very close to the usual starting of my SAD for the winter, so I must, some way or other, be able to find the balance between rest and activity. Too much activity will make me tired and spoil it for me. Too little activity will give negative thoughts more space and "spoil" my progress that way.

It seems so difficult ...
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Old 10-10-2018, 04:53 PM   #537
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I took it easy today. I just went on a two-hour walk. The trail started near the place I'm staying at. I felt very relaxed. Met some friendly people. It's been a long time since I've get myself into real nature. Walked on a trail with trees and occasional fields for horses and cows. Yea, I'm really out in the sticks!

Tomorrow is my last full day at where I'm staying. The time went by so fast, it's hard to believe. It wasn't long ago that I got here. When I get here, I thought that I would be here for a real long time. I plan to do something light tomorrow and then laundry in the afternoon. The manager at where I'm staying has offered me use of the machines at his house. Very nice of him!

I had bad feelings this morning still, just like the first morning (last Sunday) at the place. So I guess I'll never get over it. And I'll probably have those feelings for a while when I get back home. I will miss this place, even though I ruined it for myself with those stupid anxiety and depression feelings.
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Old 10-10-2018, 05:22 PM   #538
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I mentioned to some people that my depression has been worse than normal. Made tentative plans to hang out with some friends, not a date or time yet, but a what we will be doing. Tonight I have coffee with a friend. I would rather be a hermit and stay in, but I know that by going I will feel better. Another friend keeps using me as a resource for all the people she knows that are dealing with depression or mental health issues. I'm like, I'm totally not a psych professional. Just a person. Who is struggling. But whatever. Mostly getting through day by day. Seeing my T on Monday after more than a month so that should be good. It will be good to get some support at least. Kit.
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Old 10-11-2018, 07:45 AM   #539
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I'm trying to give myself more encouragement and acceptance. It's not easy when I don't get much from others. But, it is what I need.
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Old 10-11-2018, 07:59 AM   #540
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no sleep.

in pain

little done
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