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Unread 09-17-2017, 09:35 PM   #131
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

How did work go this weekend?
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Unread 09-18-2017, 05:09 AM   #132
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

wow! busy. I usually have 15-22 patients and average miles I drive have been 400-700 miles and I am scheduled 27 hours and usually work 27-33 hours.
This past weekend I had 29 patients, drove 900 miles and worked 38 hours. Tired, will be resting today.
I have been struggling a lot this past week with questioning God. Anxiety. I am thankful that through this I haven't had the suicidal thoughts.
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Unread 09-18-2017, 05:46 AM   #133
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Gosh you were busy! 900 miles!

If I remember correctly you have a Christian counselor. How do you find speaking with her when you are questioning God?

I am thankful about the lack of suicidal thinking as well!
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Unread 09-18-2017, 06:36 PM   #134
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She seems open, and allows me to vent my anger and questions. She is still new to me only been seeing her about a month. So I am waiting to see how it goes. It is hard not to transfer my past bad experiences onto her. She comes across as sincere, which makes me hesitate to believe her.
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Unread 09-18-2017, 07:39 PM   #135
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It sounds like a promising start but of course it takes time for a counseling relationship, and trust, to really blossom. How did you find her?
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Unread 09-19-2017, 04:06 AM   #136
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I got a referral after contacting a counselor from the Psychology Today website. Your question makes me realize how much 'on-line' resources have helped me. Having this site has helped tremendously. I am so thankful and amazed at how being able to come on here helped me to get out of the depression that was leading me to thinking suicide was my only option. I thank God for you all here.
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Unread 09-19-2017, 06:16 AM   #137
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Your sharing of yourself and of your recovery has been a blessing to us as well!
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Unread 09-27-2017, 06:05 PM   #138
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Just checking in and saying hi.

Hi.

How are you doing?
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Unread 09-28-2017, 07:00 AM   #139
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hi Bill, I am doing ok. I took the weekend off work, manager said I would have over 40 hrs at end of year I needed to take time off. We can carry over 40 but beyond that we lose the time if we don't take it. I have been busy at home and it feels so great. I have gravel in the driveway and under the back carport. I have been cleaning it up, laying pavers. It has been a lot of physically hard work but great for sleeping. I also have done some other small projects around the house. I really feel like I have accomplished a lot this week.
I have been struggling spiritually, questioning God a lot this week. I made several trips to the thrift stores this week and found some great buys, several christian books. a new coffee mug. Seems small but I enjoy finding deals on things.
also, I have worked on my car this week. Changed the PCV, tubing and solenoid. Save almost $200.00.
I am going to relax today before I go back to work the weekend.
thanks for keeping in touch.
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Unread 09-28-2017, 07:27 AM   #140
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Default Re: Not sure I'm going to make it

Wow kathy you do an enormous amount of impressive stuff! Tasks that save money and also in my opinion are highly therapeutic! Congratulations!



I love to get deals as well. Especially on books (new or used)! One time my wife needed a certain technical article from a book for work. It cost something like $90 to order the article online! But i found the entire book online, used, for $8 plus shipping!

Have you read about saints who also experienced questioning, and/or the absence, of God? Mother Teresa and St. Therese of Lisieux come to mind, St. John of the Cross.

I just came across this article by googling Dark Night of the Soul. I found it to be thought-provoking, maybe it can help you as well?

3 Truths About the ?Dark Night of the Soul? | CT Pastors

Know that I pray for you.

Have a good day!
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