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Unread 09-13-2017, 11:08 AM   #751
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

hey guys, this is my first time posting in this check in thread.
Today I've done the things I needed to do but it's been difficult. My anxiety is sky high at the moment, and I'm obsessing a lot about my relationships with people - ie, what I've done wrong vs where I'm not at fault. Bad memories come up where I can't get to an answer and sometimes I get overwhelmed and the ridiculous but "effective" solution suddenly comes to mind again as suicide. I'm not suicidal at all, but it's a warning sign that I'm getting little thoughts like this even though I don't feel down.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 02:26 PM   #752
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Whoops here we go again. This time I really am not doing well. I am tired all the time. And there are three options running through my mind on repeat: to die, to succeed, or to sleep and cut. I just want the third option no decisions necessary. I can't deal with things right now.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 02:28 PM   #753
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Quote:
Originally Posted by emptynightmare View Post
Whoops here we go again. This time I really am not doing well. I am tired all the time. And there are three options running through my mind on repeat: to die, to succeed, or to sleep and cut. I just want the third option no decisions necessary. I can't deal with things right now.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Sending big hugs your way.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 04:53 PM   #754
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Sometimes I feel so alone in my depression.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 07:51 PM   #755
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

(((((Jennifer 1967)))))
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Unread 09-13-2017, 08:30 PM   #756
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I can't help but to wonder if this was my real personality from the beginning, minus the cynicism and regret I've gained over time. Take away all of the knowledgeably limited "influences" from everyone I've come in contact with, and just allow myself to think for long periods of time like I did for the whole self discovery thing. Would I end up with a very similar personality, but have obtained it much sooner? Part of me thinks that I may have been a loner from the beginning, but kept denying it in one form or another.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 11:28 PM   #757
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

We're on the verge to set up the new copiers at where I work. There's still some confusion and not great communicating on this. It has put me in an emotional tailspin. There's nobody with me to go over things. I feel alone in having to set it up. I get emails and phone calls from long distance as to what to do. I really hate that. And when I do what they tell me to do, there's something that's not right. So I'd have to do it over again. I feel like those people are running me ragged.

It was a miracle, after work, that I was able to work out. I felt very tired and drained from today at work; with so much stress and running around. I didn't feel so good emotionally after work. I started to work out and then I got going. Bear in mind that I got hurt last Monday, but I didn't feel much pain today. But I felt some depression, anxiety, self pity, and even had a small panic attack. But I was able to get through the workout OK. And I felt emotionally better afterwards.

Right now I'm dreading to go to work tomorrow. I rarely to never dread going to work. But there are occasional days that I do. Right now it's one of those days. I'm hoping to get things resolved and going, so that this ordeal will be over with!
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Unread 09-14-2017, 01:53 AM   #758
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Quote:
Originally Posted by emptynightmare View Post
Whoops here we go again. This time I really am not doing well. I am tired all the time. And there are three options running through my mind on repeat: to die, to succeed, or to sleep and cut. I just want the third option no decisions necessary. I can't deal with things right now.
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Unread 09-14-2017, 01:54 AM   #759
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
Sometimes I feel so alone in my depression.
Me too. Hugs to you Jennifer
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Unread 09-14-2017, 02:06 AM   #760
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Quote:
Originally Posted by will19 View Post
We're on the verge to set up the new copiers at where I work. There's still some confusion and not great communicating on this. It has put me in an emotional tailspin. There's nobody with me to go over things. I feel alone in having to set it up. I get emails and phone calls from long distance as to what to do. I really hate that. And when I do what they tell me to do, there's something that's not right. So I'd have to do it over again. I feel like those people are running me ragged.

It was a miracle, after work, that I was able to work out. I felt very tired and drained from today at work; with so much stress and running around. I didn't feel so good emotionally after work. I started to work out and then I got going. Bear in mind that I got hurt last Monday, but I didn't feel much pain today. But I felt some depression, anxiety, self pity, and even had a small panic attack. But I was able to get through the workout OK. And I felt emotionally better afterwards.

Right now I'm dreading to go to work tomorrow. I rarely to never dread going to work. But there are occasional days that I do. Right now it's one of those days. I'm hoping to get things resolved and going, so that this ordeal will be over with!
(((will 19)))

Best wishes
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