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Unread 08-12-2017, 09:46 PM   #431
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

To be honest i'm very pissed off right now for reasons i don't want to get into because it would just end up in a argument between me and others here or me being banned. Aside from that i'm doing pretty ok. helped my wife make potato salad, which i hate but family loves. I also after 4 years put two of my earrings back in my ears only this time both on one side. can't wait for my coworkers reaction since they already give me crap for being a pirate thanks to always wearing a piece of torn cloth as a bandana. Also can't wait to see my family's face when they see i put them back in, will piss them all off.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 10:42 PM   #432
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

The morning went OK, but later things went a little downhill. I got together with my friend. There were times when he seemed to act weird. I gave him a spreadsheet chart I created that counts down on having my mortgage all paid off. He went into some tangents about principle and interest, of which I didn't understand. I told him about my mortgage balance and how much I'm paying each month, and got an estimation that it should be all paid off by January. Well, maybe he (and others) know something I don't know. It might not be as good news as I think. Like there may be some further charges.

Tonight I was having tacos for dinner. I bought a jar of salsa to go with it and I couldn't open the jar. I never had that problem before. I was going to have the salsa tonight while watching a movie. So now I'll have to take it back to the store. I don't think that I'm going to buy that brand of salsa ever again.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 03:46 AM   #433
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Doing pretty good.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 05:46 AM   #434
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

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Went to sleep after 3am. Panic attack combined with depression started late in the morn around 11.30am. Took an alprazolam and stayed in bed till 1pm. Still not feeling refreshed. Only the intensity of the attack has decreased somewhat.
Got up around 12noon today. Struggling with panic attacks and depression. Lately the depression is increasing. It started to increase from 10th Aug. I am not being able to follow the daily routine that I have chalked out for myself. Feel frustrated.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 11:40 AM   #435
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I know this is temporary. Having said that, I am so heartbroken I think it might drive me out of my mind or kill me. I hate feeling like this. I am paralyzed with pain right now.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 01:41 PM   #436
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Feels good to be able to concentrate again. Bonus points for actually working on something at the very time that I want to instead of 5-6 hours later.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 02:37 PM   #437
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

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Feels good to be able to concentrate again. Bonus points for actually working on something at the very time that I want to instead of 5-6 hours later.
Good that you are improving.
This reminds me that I am never able to do any task at the very time that I want to. I manage to do it 5-6hrs later. And there are times when I cannot do it at all.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 03:38 PM   #438
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I'm researching grad schools. I want to do a masters degree in an art field (don't want to get too specific) and see where that goes. I found an amazing program that gives full tuition and fellowships if you get in, and it doesn't require the GRE! But you have to do something like an audition, so that scares me.

I also need to research more options, but do you ever get set on something? I get lazy after I find something I think I want. (Like in The Lying Detective in BBC Sherlock when Culverton Smith stops looking for recording bugs after he finds three...)

This particular program is in the US. I want to go abroad, but I've become lazy.... I shouldn't be so set on this option. It's a highly selective school so I probably won't get in without a lot of hard work, and it's hard for me to perform under such stress.

I guess I am disbelieving of my ability to get into a good school.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 03:43 PM   #439
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

The 4pm smoke vape was aggravating. They made me quit vaping much too soon. I'm so resentful here lately. What with the "popular kids" trying to upset me lately. I'm really hating it here and I need to go home.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 03:45 PM   #440
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I know this is temporary. Having said that, I am so heartbroken I think it might drive me out of my mind or kill me. I hate feeling like this. I am paralyzed with pain right now.


Do you know why you're so heartbroken? Sorry you're feeling so bad right now. I hope it gets better soon
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