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Unread 06-24-2017, 05:09 PM   #21
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I'm feeling more hopeless today. My life is just floating away before my eyes. I should have had some coffee.
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Unread 06-24-2017, 05:47 PM   #22
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Typical Saturday today - the cleaning and shopping. Very busy but nothing socially exciting, or should I say, just nothing social at all for today and tonight.

There was one thing I did today that was very different from other Saturdays. I met with a RE agent and they can buy my place - AS IS. It's a nice feeling getting an offer but I feel like I should get more. But maybe if I could get more, then the difference could be just a "drop in the bucket". But then I may not get an offer better that what was proposed to me today.

Lately I have been feeling content at where I live. But I'm still not that crazy about my place. It hasn't been that bad in the pool area as much as I would anticipate. I still feel very lonely at where I live since I don't have anything in common with my neighbors. I don't have a place lined up for me to go to as of now. So, I don't know.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 11:48 AM   #23
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I slept in this morning and feel bad about it. I like to get up early and have a long morning to "get my motor going." But there is nothing wrong with a slow start on a Sunday.

I'm still feeling a bit down. It's probably because it's been hot and rainy for days--really icky outside. I do better if there is sun shine.

I'll be spending the afternoon and evening with my family and I'm not really looking forward to it. (I usually do.) It's probably because of my mood and my slow start.

I think I should look at my list of all the ways I've progressed in the past few months to give myself a boost.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 12:49 PM   #24
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Having a really tough time right now. Woke up depressed. There is a situational component to it as well. I texted the crisis line and I'm safe right now. This is just so hard and so painful. I feel like I'm down more then up and I should just quit talking about it because everyone is tired of me.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 01:22 PM   #25
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I tried another church this morning and ended up not staying the whole time. I won't be going back there again. Another time wasted for me. Also on another discussion board, there was a good thing going and then some women had to come on to bash men. The topic had nothing to do with dating, marriage, or anything like that. Why do they have to come on to ruin a good thing?

Very hot outside. Nothing lined up for today. I was feeling much better yesterday than I do now.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 03:30 PM   #26
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I'm not doing well on Effexor. Dissociating a lot. I have this feeling of... not being real. Like if I'm just not here, no identity, nothing. It's a miserable way to exist. I feel out of touch. Just numb. But my doctor won't return my calls. I'm running low on the script, and I don't even think I care. Effexor sucks.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 07:13 PM   #27
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

I'm feeling down today. We went to a huge zoo this weekend for vacation. It was fun, but after the first 4 hours I just couldn't walk anymore. I have arthritis and have been improving a lot, but I couldn't walk the whole zoo. I ended up renting a wheelchair for the rest of the trip, but I felt stupid for not being able to get around on my own.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 08:49 PM   #28
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

My depression and anxiety have been louder today. I feel stuck and locked up because I am stuck and locked up. But going back to my life before isn't the answer either. I need the freedom.and the structure of physical and occupational therapy.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 09:10 PM   #29
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

This seems to be happening more frequently...that's 2 emotional outbursts in the past 2 days. I don't know what this means, but I just hope that this counts as progress for something good in the end. I'm also glad that it never happens around people and that I can actually hold it in until I get home.
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Unread 06-25-2017, 09:34 PM   #30
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Default Re: Daily Check-In Thread: Ups & Downs #21

Today was a nice lazy Sunday, nap included. Got the laundry done and washed some dishes. TheDragon also introduced me to a game called Final Fantasy XIV and I've been enjoying it a lot! I think I prefer it to World of Warcraft, which I eventually got bored of.

Another work week begins tomorrow. I'm always a little sad on Sunday nights because of the inevitable Monday, but I'll try to keep in mind that working helps my mood, and the money is a nice bonus.
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