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Unread 04-20-2017, 09:20 PM   #1
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Default Am I A Bad Person?

It's a question I ask myself near everyday. But is it a question I need to know the answer to? Sometimes I think it is. Other times I think - everyone has a different opinion of what makes a person good and what makes a person bad, so whh worry on it? Why not just worry on how I feel about myself? The problem with that though is sometimes - I am not sure how I feel - about anything.. because I know too MUCH about what others think (not talking about things here or people here) and it just clogs up every "emotion sensor" and "thought sensor" I have until there is none left over just for me. So - at that point - I'm stuck.

Am I a bad person?

I don't know. I guess it depends on who you ask and when you ask them. I am always going to do things that will upset someone...but then, I will always do something to make someone laugh or smile too. I try to be honest all the time - but sometimes I fail. I try to make good on all my promises and goals - again, sometimes I fail. I try to be helpful, sometimes I fail at that too. I believe myself to be caring, giving, loving, and supportive - yet I know some who would say I lie when I say that. I am a person full of hopes and dreams, goals and once-believed aspirations. Yet, I am also a person full of faults and let downs, mistakes and misgivings.

Tell me - what is it that makes a person good or bad?

Is it if they "intentionally hurt someone" that makes them bad?
Ok, so what of the person who is born without empathy, or without the capacity to understand another's pain? To them - life is all about "me" there is no worrying about how what they do or say may affect another - and that is simply what thsir knowledge of life is, not the choice they make.

Is it if a person lies or is otherwise dishonest, that makes them bad?
Okay, so what of the person being abused and afraid to say or do something to others that may be counter-productive to what the abuser wishes?

Is it if a person is a controlling or manipulative personality, that makes them bad?
Ok - so what of those that simply cannot see beyond themselves, not because they lack empathy or emotion.. but because they had to learn to put themselves before all others in order to survive at a young age - and once in adulthood it is now a basic part of them?

Is it because they drag you down by being too depressed too often?
What about those people who rarely get to feel happy? Should they not have someone to love them?

What really makes a person bad?
Am I a bad person?
Can anyone tell me?
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Unread 04-20-2017, 09:38 PM   #2
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

You are having deep, reflective thoughts which demonstrate imagination, logic and empathy. If any of that makes a person bad, our species is in deep doo-doo!

Short answer: No, you're not a bad person.
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Unread 04-20-2017, 09:42 PM   #3
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

I think it's always going to be up to the individual person you ask. What one person deems wrong is another's person's 'no big deal' or even another person's right. It's very complex and no one person's morals with be the exact same as another's.

From my perspective and how much I know about you; no you're not a bad person. How you've been there for many users on here and have tried to help, I'd say you're a very good person. A good person who's in pain.

I will say something I believe to be true: A bad person, a genuinely evil person, is as light as a feather and never questions his/her morals.
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Unread 04-20-2017, 10:11 PM   #4
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas View Post
I think it's always going to be up to the individual person you ask. What one person deems wrong is another's person's 'no big deal' or even another person's right. It's very complex and no one person's morals with be the exact same as another's.

From my perspective and how much I know about you; no you're not a bad person. How you've been there for many users on here and have tried to help, I'd say you're a very good person. A good person who's in pain.

I will say something I believe to be true: A bad person, a genuinely evil person, is as light as a feather and never questions his/her morals.
Thank you for your words. It makes sense what you say and means a lot too.
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Unread 04-20-2017, 10:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onward2wards View Post
You are having deep, reflective thoughts which demonstrate imagination, logic and empathy. If any of that makes a person bad, our species is in deep doo-doo!

Short answer: No, you're not a bad person.
Very kind and uplifting. Thank you.
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Unread 04-20-2017, 10:23 PM   #6
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

The idea of good and bad may vary depending on who you ask, but it's your answer that matters the most. A bad person, in any possible way, would not be thinking and asking themselves if they are bad or not. The sole act of caring and worrying about it makes you different from bad people. You are not a bad person.
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Unread 04-21-2017, 09:09 AM   #7
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onward2wards View Post
You are having deep, reflective thoughts which demonstrate imagination, logic and empathy. If any of that makes a person bad, our species is in deep doo-doo!

Short answer: No, you're not a bad person.
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Unread 04-21-2017, 03:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

I guess few people would admit that they're a bad person, even it it were true.
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Unread 04-22-2017, 03:03 AM   #9
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

Theoretically I've believed that there is no inherently good or bad person. So I used to tell people, don't tell me this one is good or bad, I don't see people in that dichotomy. I even went that far that we are all good in essence. Just to realise that I still believe I am not. And this was shocking to realise.
There is a big contrast between the theories I claim to believe in and what is really going on inside me.

We who are very susceptible to other people's emotions, sometimes get lost in the mirror they show us. We think we are bad because we are not conforming to values that are not even ours.

Though, it is said that guilt comes from acting against our values and shame is about acting against the values of the community/ group and it is related with believing that we are bad. So if I do something against my values, I should feel guilt, not feel that I am bad. So being bad in this case might really be correlated with not conforming to the values of others. But then there is all this "being bad" feeling that we drag with us from childhood and it is not relevant anymore. There is no community anymore that would kick us out for that which we'd been shamed for as chidren. Still, it's there, poisoning our lives..
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Unread 04-22-2017, 07:13 AM   #10
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Default Re: Am I A Bad Person?

I know this answer. I don't even have to read what you wrote in the thread to find out the answer. You're a really nice person. Nothing bad about you. And i've seen bad, and you ain't it!
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