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Unread 04-20-2017, 08:10 PM   #1
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Default Beyond Lonely and Desperate

I am at a very stressful time in my life. Things have been stressful for a while now but just to explain further....

1) I'm in school right now and last day is 5/8 so finals are coming up even as....

2) My lease is up on 5/31 but my landlord said he'd let me out on 4/30 which I would really like to do since....

3) I haven't had a full time job since December. I lost my long term job last April and I haven't managed to claim ONE WEEK of unemployment. Here in Florida they make you jump through hoops about where you applied etc. Plus they shortened the time frame you have to do it so there have been times I didn't look, times I looked but didn't look enough, times I looked enough but didn't get the weeks in on time. Plus as a student they also ask that and ask if you were given employment if you'd leave school for full time employment and I'm not leaving school for the $275/week they give me, so yeah, that's why I've been blazing through my IRA.

I'm moving in with one friend of mine who is very nice and it will be affordable but I need to get out of here and I need help that I'm afraid to ask for. My place has fallen into complete chaos and THAT is why I don't want to ask. There aren't many people I invite into my disaster and I FEEL like every time I ask my best friend she doesn't want to be bothered. My son too. My son is great in many ways - BEST KID EVER - but as far as helping me make decisions about what to do with my **** and how to get rid of it etc. that isn't his forte.

My sisters would be helpful but they're in CT. I'm not medicated so this packing thing is a CHORE and a DISASTER and with the stress of school - I just don't think it's going to happen. Oh! And did I mention I need to get my app in for college in the fall? Yeah. That too. Sometimes I sit here just hoping someone will REALIZE how bad off I am and offer to help. How insane is that? Like a f*cking fairy godmother or something. Just bury me now.
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WARNING! I have ADHD. Expect long winded, off topic responses. Your understanding is appreciated.
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Unread 04-20-2017, 09:47 PM   #2
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Default Re: Beyond Lonely and Desperate

No one is going to come help independently, people are to self absorbed in there own life , to notice someone else is drowning nearby .

You should not sweat asking someone for help , if we were all super human and the world wasnt so complicated everyone could do everything all the time ,until then there is reality, if you reach out for help enough someone will be reaching back to help , I was a different kind of kid when my mom was alive , I owed her anything she needed times ten for all the sacrifices she made to ensure that I grew up to be a good human being , with that in mind don't hesitate to even just call and bounce ideas off your son , no he can't solve anything but when we are to close to something our judgement becomes compromised , I am sure you have heard the saying "can't see the woods thru the trees" it's the truth , and you may think a bomb went of at home because you know what everything is and it's over whelming you , when I needed to move all my stuff wax spread between my house and a storage locker , I can't lift anything heavier than 2.5 pounds with each arm , my mom was going to be out of the country and couldn't help so she made a phone call and had perfect strangers at the time lined up outside with a truck so all I had to do was sit and tell them what I needed done, I know them all now and am so grateful for there help, it was Sisters and the from the local monastery , they considered it an honor to help me, one of them was 89 years old helping me move as a late 30's guy at the time, it was humbling , to have more people offering help than I even needed ,so one group stayed with me to pack and the other went to my new place to unpack things and put them in there place when they arrived. They helped with no judgements, a smile and muscles I don't have anymore, of course I know and love them all now , and these days with my mom having lost her battle with cancer and me being alone , I am not because the sisters of the monastery come by for tea and take me to dinner and just make sure I am OK, they are very happy to be of service , that's a resource for you just make the call, they don't know you need something if you don't ask . Nothing is as big or imposing as we perceive them to be from an outsiders point of view , so if you do nothing else today reach out to someone and share your burden , he'll I make jokes about but it's not really funny I have PTSD and sometimes I don't feel able to make a decision about what to eat but I am trained to run an entire city in an emergency, so honestly what I said about being to close to something I say that from the heart and experience , everything is perspective don't forget to step back breathe and look around .

And as far as unemployment are they high ? Sacrifice your education today for a full time job that may not be there next week or next year, they should be embarrassed about there own stupidity.

Last edited by Misterpain; 04-20-2017 at 10:01 PM.
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Unread 04-20-2017, 10:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: Beyond Lonely and Desperate

Quote:
Originally Posted by Misterpain View Post
No one is going to come help independently, people are to self absorbed in there own life , to notice someone else is drowning nearby .

You should not sweat asking someone for help , if we were all super human and the world wasnt so complicated everyone could do everything all the time ,until then there is reality, if you reach out for help enough someone will be reaching back to help ,....that's a resource for you just make the call, they don't know you need something if you don't ask .

And as far as unemployment are they high ? Sacrifice your education today for a full time job that may not be there next week or next year, they should be embarrassed about there own stupidity.
I had asked my bestie if she could come on a certain time and she said, "I don't think I can commit to that." Maybe I just take stuff wrong but that answer just made me feel like I shouldn't bother to ask again. Had she said, "Check in with me" or "But I CAN do THIS day" that would be one thing but I KNOW she feels like I'm needy AND I AM. So I hate the whole thing. I hate her for calling me out on it. I hate BEING needy but like seriously - I just need a little hand holding. You don't even have to WORK really. Not looking for slave labor though if you wanted to pitch in, fine, but can you just SHOW ME the forest through the trees please?

Yeah I'm back in school because I was tired of being laid off. Worked for Chase for almost 5 years and I was laid off twice. Went through 5 jobs while I was there. HATED IT AND THEM! I care too much about people and it's SO OBVIOUS that Corporate America does not.
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Dx: Bipolar I, Mixed Type and ADHD w/ Hyperactivity
Meds: Adderall XR 30 mg, short acting 15, Trazodone 150 mg, Lamictal 400 mg, Xanax .5 mg (as needed).

WARNING! I have ADHD. Expect long winded, off topic responses. Your understanding is appreciated.
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Unread 04-21-2017, 06:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: Beyond Lonely and Desperate

You maybe needy now , but that may not always be the case , real friends don't keep score of who may need a hand or when , they are just there for each other .
I do see why your friends response was deflating , and I certainly hope that you will approach them again and not take what they said as final word, they very well could have been having a bad day or things on there mind , so don't be offended & hurt until you get clarification on there first response , if they however upon clarification meant it the way you took it, invest in some better quality friends . That said I have compartmentalized my life , I have friends that I vanished on , because I feel more like huge burden on people and I would rather them remember me as I was , not as I am now , I do have friends currently but they new my condition and came into this with there eyes wide open .

And I am sorry about your layoffs, but look at the bright side ( yep there is one) you didn't work for Wells Fargo . LOL
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Unread 04-22-2017, 02:16 PM   #5
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