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Unread 03-20-2017, 11:37 AM   #1
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Thumbs down I don't care anymore...

I have spent so much time trying to get better. I really don't care anymore. It doesn't matter whether or not I am in a good mood or a bad mood. Nothing changes.

The reason I am not on an AD is that I had severe side effects and in the past it did nothing but make me agitated. If there is one thing I hate more than depression it is anxiety and agitation.

It seems crazy but I believe that things will get better no matter what I do. The reason I believe this is because it has been my experience in the past.

I guess I always have a low level of depression going on. I think maybe I am dysthymic. And it is intensified when I am stressed.

I need to work on bringing the stress down in my life. That's the only way I will see improvement.

I am alone, without an H or family, friends, or a dear pet. So it is tough. Really tough. I don't care anymore and I feel like giving up.

But I have to keep trying. Minute by minute. Day by day. And maybe things will get better.

But today. I really don't give a flying fig. But will give myself a mental hug.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 05:38 PM   #2
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This is so similar to how I felt today...
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Unread 03-20-2017, 05:42 PM   #3
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You're not alone...I can completely relate. You're doing everything you can! Stay kind to yourself <3
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Unread 03-20-2017, 05:55 PM   #4
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This is so similar to how I felt today...




Really? I think I expressed frustration...but also hope. Hold on, my friend, hold on.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 05:57 PM   #5
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You're not alone...I can completely relate. You're doing everything you can! Stay kind to yourself <3


Thank you. I feel like I appear completely crazy in my posts. The thing is I really want to get better and it is soooooooooooooooo frustrating. So tiring. I just want to be out of this 2.5 year depressive episode. And I never want to come back. Yes, I am trying to be kind to myself. Thank you. The world is tough enough. Be kind to yourself as well.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 06:52 PM   #6
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Thank you. I feel like I appear completely crazy in my posts. The thing is I really want to get better and it is soooooooooooooooo frustrating. So tiring. I just want to be out of this 2.5 year depressive episode. And I never want to come back. Yes, I am trying to be kind to myself. Thank you. The world is tough enough. Be kind to yourself as well.
You don't sound crazy at all to me! I hear someone who is looking at all sides of the situation and trying to deal with it all. We do need to accept that things aren't so great right now...It's exhausting, it's confusing, sometimes plain annoying...admitting it is acknowledging it...But the fact that you don't wallow in it and instead cradle yourself back to a safe zone is the very sign of courage!! According to Aristotle, that is one of the two key virtues to living fruitfully (the other being temperance) You are making the best of your situation and you should be very proud of yourself!! I am!
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Unread 03-20-2017, 07:03 PM   #7
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I have spent so much time trying to get better. I really don't care anymore. It doesn't matter whether or not I am in a good mood or a bad mood. Nothing changes.
:

of course it does not matter .... the world is sorrowful ... has always been ... will always be ...the world does not change ... it can not change .... it is what is ...

you can not change you are who you are ... always have been ... always will be ....

what can change is you deciding to (not out of obligation ... but out of choice) to participate "joyfully" in this world of sorrows .... that is the answer ... nothing changes but everything changes ...

peace .. Tigger.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 07:25 PM   #8
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You don't sound crazy at all to me! I hear someone who is looking at all sides of the situation and trying to deal with it all. We do need to accept that things aren't so great right now...It's exhausting, it's confusing, sometimes plain annoying...admitting it is acknowledging it...But the fact that you don't wallow in it and instead cradle yourself back to a safe zone is the very sign of courage!! According to Aristotle, that is one of the two key virtues to living fruitfully (the other being temperance) You are making the best of your situation and you should be very proud of yourself!! I am!


Thank you. This was beautiful and heartening.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 07:26 PM   #9
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of course it does not matter .... the world is sorrowful ... has always been ... will always be ...the world does not change ... it can not change .... it is what is ...

you can not change you are who you are ... always have been ... always will be ....

what can change is you deciding to (not out of obligation ... but out of choice) to participate "joyfully" in this world of sorrows .... that is the answer ... nothing changes but everything changes ...

peace .. Tigger.



Gorgeous words. Thank you.
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