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Old 11-04-2017, 07:13 PM   #1
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Default No Morning

This isn't finished, been working on it all week and it doesn't quite flow right yet but it's getting there

there's a difficult memorty attached to this (more like a scar) - I keep returning here at the moment and it's making it hard to concentrate on much else

excuse the puns, mutilated language and liberties taken with a couple of bards

No Morning

Let me
tell you
about
the day I died

it was so easy

really

slipping into
a warm bath

nothingness
nothing
ness
**
*

finally
oneness
oneless

to be,
better
to
not be

in turnning
curling tight
a
back
wards fern

tight as night
in this
waste land
thin
skin skein
stretched
over dry bones
eyes shut
black

enterring
my self
embalming
my senses
sense less
non sense

open hearted
open veined

opening up for
vultures to peck
maggots to pick
rot to pack
empty chasms
with fungal
involutions

fake lungs
fake guts
fake breath

a black box
to hide
in
side

-
so
no morning
for me

really

this makes me
strong
being no
thing
no thing matters
nothing that matters
can’t be touched

standing
tall
ivory tower.
Moated,

de moted.
No target for slings
and arrows

for out rage
for
for tune

can’t kill
a
zombie me
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Old 11-07-2017, 03:56 AM   #2
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Location: A Growlery in the UK
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Default Re: No Morning

Did some more work on this, flows a bit better, still needs work

No Morning

Let me
tell you
about
the day I died

it was so easy

really

slipping into
a warm bath

nothingness
nothing
ness
**
*

finally
oneness
oneless

to be,
better
to
not be

in turnning
curling tight
a
back
wards fern

tight as night
in this
waste land
thin
skin skein
stretched
over dry bones
eyes shut
black

enterring
my self
embalming
my senses
sense less
non sense

open hearted
open veined

laid out
on this airless
mountain
opened up
for
vultures to peck
maggots to pick
rot to pack
empty chasms
with fungal
involutions
-
so
no morning
for me

really

this makes me
strong

can’t kill
a zombie

being no
thing
no thing matters
nothing that matters
can’t be touched

standing
tall
ivory tower.
Moated,

de moted.
No target for slings
and arrows

for out rage
for
for tune

fake lungs
fake guts
fake breath

Cheshire
Cat smile
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Old 11-07-2017, 04:53 PM   #3
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Default Re: No Morning

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Old 11-07-2017, 05:37 PM   #4
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Default Re: No Morning

It's wonderful, Carmina. I love it. Full of clever stuff. Great pun on 'mourning' too.
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Old 11-13-2017, 11:32 AM   #5
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Default Re: No Morning

Some clever wordplay. I like it. Thanks for sharing your work. Hugs because it looks like it came from a dark place.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:09 PM   #6
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Default Re: No Morning

Thanks - it did but I still can't talk about it

needs another update though - still not happy with bits
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Old 11-26-2017, 06:21 PM   #7
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Default Re: No Morning

I should say a bit more about this, I was talking to my art therapist yesterday, while painting, about how I would put myself in harms way in the past and not care because it was just my body getting hurt. I have been hospitalised due to assaults several times and had to have surgery on a hand that has never healed. I feel so disconnected from my body at times, this poem was an attempt to trace the feeling back to an event in my childhood where I let myself 'die' rather than fight back when my mother tried to strangle me in a rage. I just went limp and let it happen, I felt I didn't deserve to live in a world where even my mother wanted me dead. Ironically I think that's what saved me, like an animal playing dead, she let go and calmed down. But after that it became a way of surviving everything else, I just went to that dead place inside where nothing could really touch me, nothing else mattered. In a way it made me strong because I can cope with so much and it doesn't really touch me.
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Old 11-26-2017, 06:41 PM   #8
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Default Re: No Morning

Very sorry to hear it

I had exactly the same reaction, to similar situations. Its awfully sad, that we had to go through that.
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Old 11-26-2017, 10:37 PM   #9
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Default Re: No Morning

That is horrible Carmina, it’s awful you experienced such a thing at the hands of your mom.
Consoling was never a skill I wielded well but my heart goes out to you.
Your art is beautiful and your poetry is powerful, thanks for letting us in.
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