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Old 06-18-2017, 01:49 PM   #1
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Default Poems of the broken who will rise again

Find me, at the weekend
Holed up inside my room
wound up in my own thoughts
Longing for a connection
They opened up my head
All ready for dissection

That girl, she is bad news
Stay well clear
Who says leopards never change their spots
Do you not believe in rehabilitation?
Change is an arduous road, so
Don't throw me to the waves.

My resolve has been shattered
My defensive resources are depleted
I am beginning to see
That it's me who has spun the web.
It tears me up,
To think you can make it without me.

How long do I have to hide?
I feel opaque
Everything I hold dear,
Is rapidly beginning to slide....
What do I save?

For I am a mere slave,
To my ego's false beliefs.
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:30 AM   #2
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Default Re: Poems of the broken who will rise again

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Old 06-25-2017, 01:30 PM   #3
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Default Re: Poems of the broken who will rise again

Originally Posted by SapphireRed View Post
For I am a mere slave,
To my ego's false beliefs.
I enjoyed this poem, especially the last stanza. Aren't we all running around and entertaining false beliefs about ourselves and the world? You'd think that we shed that crap as we get older, but instead we just discard old junk and take on new junk: what is appropriate for a child, what is appropriate for an adult; what should we be doing in middle-age, etc.?

This poem is a good length. Too long, and it's boring; too short, and the reader doesn't get enough information. Good luck writing more poetry in the future!
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