Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-07-2019, 05:37 PM   #1
ExplodingSun56
Member
 
ExplodingSun56's Avatar
ExplodingSun56 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Washington
Posts: 297
2 yr Member
24 hugs
given
Default Feeling stupid in social situations

Why do I feel so stupid in certain social situations? Like I could just simply go up and talk to someone and say something and feel stupid afterwards. I don't even know what to call this feeling. I've been trying to be a little more social with people but I just feel so stupid afterwards and my mind keeps thinking about it. I don't know. This is probably why I don't talk to people in the first place.
ExplodingSun56 is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 02-07-2019, 10:02 PM   #2
ennie
Veteran Member
 
ennie's Avatar
ennie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: United States of America
Posts: 551 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: Feeling stupid in social situations

1,021 hugs
given
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

Maybe a feeling of shame? There will always be people who will be judgmental. But there will also always be people who will be accepting. You don't need to please everyone, just pick the nice people.
ennie is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 02-07-2019, 10:14 PM   #3
piggy momma
Grand Member
 
piggy momma's Avatar
piggy momma loves all pigs. ALL. THE. PIGS.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 902 (SuperPoster!)
47 hugs
given
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

For me it's just a complete lack of social skills. I literally do not know how to be social. I am forcing myself to do things tho...tonight I went to a talk at a pub...with lots of people. I was nervous as hell but when it was over I realized i didn't die and it wasn't so bad.

Can your T help you develop some skills?
piggy momma is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-07-2019, 10:52 PM   #4
Anonymous50384
Guest
Anonymous50384 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

Quote:
Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56 View Post
Why do I feel so stupid in certain social situations? Like I could just simply go up and talk to someone and say something and feel stupid afterwards. I don't even know what to call this feeling. I've been trying to be a little more social with people but I just feel so stupid afterwards and my mind keeps thinking about it. I don't know. This is probably why I don't talk to people in the first place.
I feel the same way in certain situations. The closest words I have to it are: social anxiety, shyness, shame, and self consciousness. Hugs. Are you in therapy? I know we don't choose to feel this way, and there are probably many developing factors leading up to this for you. It is complex for me, at least.
  Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 02-07-2019, 10:54 PM   #5
mote.of.soul
Elder
 
mote.of.soul's Avatar
mote.of.soul - People of plant Earth. Have no fear, seek only to know yourselves and live in harmony with the ways of your planet.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: the antipodes
Posts: 6,342 (SuperPoster!)
9,793 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

Hi,

It's been pointed out to me that low self esteem, low self worth, and yes, shame - toxic shame - probably a few other things as well - lie at the heart of these kinds of thoughts and feelings, and actually it's not all that uncommon ExplodingSun56, though, I fully believe the severity differs from person to person. You can internet search the causes and also ways to manage it, and by implementing coping mechanisms etc., in time there's a good chance it wont have the same impact on you. I'm less effected by it now than I used to be, definitely.
mote.of.soul is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 02-09-2019, 11:21 AM   #6
ExplodingSun56
Member
 
ExplodingSun56's Avatar
ExplodingSun56 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Washington
Posts: 297
2 yr Member
24 hugs
given
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

My feelings about it are intense. My feelings usually are pretty intense.
ExplodingSun56 is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-09-2019, 12:09 PM   #7
MickeyCheeky
Wise Elder
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,076 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: Feeling stupid in social situations

2 yr Member
26.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

I'm so sorry, ExplodingSun56 I know how you feel. You're definitely not alone on this, as this thread has already shown. I agree with all the others. You may be feeling this way because of guilt, shame, ecc. Perhaps you just need to work on your social skills. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. I believe there are also some good self-help books on the subject. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. Socializing is hard, but it can be done. It just requires practice, I suppose. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-09-2019, 12:27 PM   #8
KD1980
Member
 
KD1980's Avatar
KD1980 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 144
My Mood: Feeling stupid in social situations

401 hugs
given
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

It sounds like you are self conscious about your social skills. I am too. I found it helpful to remind myself that most people do not notice my embarrassment or awkwardness. I remind myself that other people probably feel stupid too. Many people never really learn the best way to be social, to be frank.

What you can do is practice being social. Sometimes I talk to people randomly to test myself: the cashier, the neighbors, etc. It sharpens my social skills.
KD1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 02-09-2019, 04:26 PM   #9
skibum801
Member
 
skibum801's Avatar
skibum801 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Buenos Aires
Posts: 76
5 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

For me, the feeling of shame of talking to people and the behavior of therefore avoiding people because of that shame reinforced itself. By that, I mean that it's a cycle, in which the feeling of shame and the behavior of avoiding people reinforce each other.

To get out of that cycle, I feel like I had success just hijacking that cycle, if you will. For me, I think if I just tried to talk to people more it would sometimes help get rid of that feeling. Or if I was really intentional about it--the act of talking to others. I would come in and ask particular questions and try to be really present with another person. Those are some things that helped me.
skibum801 is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-09-2019, 04:28 PM   #10
Quarter life
Elder...and a bit Older
Community Liaison
 
Quarter life's Avatar
Quarter life Is Very Very Very Very Very Very Angry
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: My Own Orbit
Posts: 6,594 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: Feeling stupid in social situations

5 yr Member
503 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Feeling stupid in social situations

This is an interesting subject, and I think that KD above is definitely on the right track about the practicing. Using a persons first name when speaking with them, keeping conversations light, and smiling will make others feel at ease...which in turn will make you feel more at ease. Many sales people wear name tags...Practice saying hi Jennifer, thank you Jennifer....or have a nice Day Jennifer...be sure to notice how their faces light up when you use their name. It's not everything...but its a good place to start.
Quarter life is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:25 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines