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Old 01-15-2019, 10:25 PM   #21
Sisabel
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I have always been a solitary soul.Growing up within our community I always felt like an outsider,I didn't belong and the others disgusted me with their materialism and focus on looks,clothes and jewels,riches and image.I couldn't wait to find a way to escape the superficiality.Now I no longer try to fit in,just to find people that I get on with and share my caring values.
I like this. Thank you. ❤️
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Old 01-15-2019, 10:25 PM   #22
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I wonder if feeling like you don't fit in is a type of social anxiety?
Could be. I hadnít thought of this at all.
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Old 01-15-2019, 10:28 PM   #23
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I used to be very insecure with all my relationships. It took therapy and sobriety to learn to be comfortable in my own skin and to know that I do not need the validation of others to like myself, feel a part of, or find my place. This is easy for me to say because I am on the other side but I encourage you to work on this with a good therapist. Feeling like we dont fit in is a double edge sword. On one hand we battle that constant dialogue in our heads about not fitting in, wondering what to say or do next, being hypervigilant about what we do or how we act..and on the other we are so "self absorbed" in our own heads we often neglect the relationships we do have because we are so involved in trying to find out why or if we do not fit in and how to fix it. You cant be a good friend or family member if your mind is constantly on why you do not fit in or you are hyperaware of how you are acting. Its hard to be an active listener with all that backround noise and its hard to be a good friend when one eye is always on ourselves. But I had to learn how to change, it did not come naturally. No I relish in fitting in/being unique. I feel like I can fit in wherever I am because I feel so sure of who I am and have some confidence BUT I also find that I am unique enough where I might stand out not for a negative reason, but because I am a free thinking person at peace with myself.
This is awesome. You really worked on this. It didnít just happen and like you said, you needed to step outside yourself. Thank you. ❤️
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Old 01-16-2019, 05:21 AM   #24
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Yes, I do feel like I don't fit in, Sisabel. In fact, PC is one of the few places where I feel like I fit in. I'm so sorry so many people are struggling with this, as well. You're all wonderful people and deserve nothing but love and kindness. I'm glad a place like this exists where people can share this, at least. Thank you for making this thread, Sisabel. Sending many hugs to everyone
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:28 AM   #25
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Yes, I do feel like I don't fit in, Sisabel. In fact, PC is one of the few places where I feel like I fit in. I'm so sorry so many people are struggling with this, as well. You're all wonderful people and deserve nothing but love and kindness. I'm glad a place like this exists where people can share this, at least. Thank you for making this thread, Sisabel. Sending many hugs to everyone
I have said this before. Of all the forums I have been involved in, this is the one with the most insightful, intelligent people. I don't share the problems some individuals on here do or at least not to the EXTENT.....but you guys are fun.
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Old 01-16-2019, 08:34 AM   #26
Sisabel
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Originally Posted by Marylin View Post
I have always been a solitary soul.Growing up within our community I always felt like an outsider,I didn't belong and the others disgusted me with their materialism and focus on looks,clothes and jewels,riches and image.I couldn't wait to find a way to escape the superficiality.Now I no longer try to fit in,just to find people that I get on with and share my caring values.
Iím definitely more tuned in with finding like-minded souls as I get older. I was caught up in more superficial things at one time and it leads to nowhere.
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Old 01-16-2019, 08:35 AM   #27
Sisabel
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Yes, I do feel like I don't fit in, Sisabel. In fact, PC is one of the few places where I feel like I fit in. I'm so sorry so many people are struggling with this, as well. You're all wonderful people and deserve nothing but love and kindness. I'm glad a place like this exists where people can share this, at least. Thank you for making this thread, Sisabel. Sending many hugs to everyone
Thanks Mickey. PC is a quiet and peaceful refuge for me.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:40 AM   #28
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Youíre right. We have to sort all this out and learn from it. Iím very sorry for the loss of your beloved Leo. ❤️❤️
Thank you for your sympathy for my loss of Leo❤. He was actually a huge part of helping me learn to be myself & to fit in. His little dog life really revealed so much to me. He was a city dog when I moved with him across the country to my farm, leaving our old life behind. He had a curiosity to investigate everything to the fullest & he was so proud of himself when he would bring me his finds (no matter how disgusting they were). He got himself bit by a mole he was chasing & it never dampened his desire to investigate everything he found. He had a love for life that totally wore off on me & has become my new normal.

He was always wise around new people he didn't know. He was very guarded until he could sense that they were ok & if he never sensed it he would not let them touch him.

We both had moved to a new town 2100 miles away from where we had always lived & we knew no one when we moved here. It was like getting to write a new life book if we got new words & ideas to write it with & observing his life & letting it become a total part of mine gave me that ability to start with. Finding an outstanding T 3 years later helped me learn skills I had not learned which gave me the ability to integrate the past with the present & give me the understanding of WHY the past was the way it was while learning who the real me was. The me who now was not always having to react to the dysfunctional people in my family I had been surrounded by. I hadn't even realized the high level of anxiety I had lived in all my life until I finally experienced peace. It was hard to fit in when one is always on guard to your environment. I fit in OK (not well) in my career because my family environment was always there even when I was away.....but it did give me a glimpse that there was something more inside of me than what was so overshadowed by the peoples dysfunctions I was been living around. I was finally able to uncover & discover that me
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Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 01-16-2019, 12:03 PM   #29
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

I realised at art class when I was bullied yesterday how badly I fitted into the group there and how unhappy it can make me to feel surrounded by people who are hostile and indifferent to me and who act superior.It has made me see that forcing myself to fit in and belong somewhere that I don't really belong and never will is a mistake.I hope that never happens to me again it was an unpleasant experience.The fact that I attended two session and completed the work expected of me shows me I can do it but don't have to especially seeing as the tutor joined in bullying me with the other bullies.It is not my fault that I had to withdraw from the course and I am glad I prioritised my emotional safety and spoke to the man in charge about how the tutor behaved.But not fitting in somewhere is such an unpleasant experience and can affect your self esteem and confidence badly.
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Old 01-16-2019, 03:02 PM   #30
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Thank you for your sympathy for my loss of Leo❤. He was actually a huge part of helping me learn to be myself & to fit in. His little dog life really revealed so much to me. He was a city dog when I moved with him across the country to my farm, leaving our old life behind. He had a curiosity to investigate everything to the fullest & he was so proud of himself when he would bring me his finds (no matter how disgusting they were). He got himself bit by a mole he was chasing & it never dampened his desire to investigate everything he found. He had a love for life that totally wore off on me & has become my new normal.

He was always wise around new people he didn't know. He was very guarded until he could sense that they were ok & if he never sensed it he would not let them touch him.

We both had moved to a new town 2100 miles away from where we had always lived & we knew no one when we moved here. It was like getting to write a new life book if we got new words & ideas to write it with & observing his life & letting it become a total part of mine gave me that ability to start with. Finding an outstanding T 3 years later helped me learn skills I had not learned which gave me the ability to integrate the past with the present & give me the understanding of WHY the past was the way it was while learning who the real me was. The me who now was not always having to react to the dysfunctional people in my family I had been surrounded by. I hadn't even realized the high level of anxiety I had lived in all my life until I finally experienced peace. It was hard to fit in when one is always on guard to your environment. I fit in OK (not well) in my career because my family environment was always there even when I was away.....but it did give me a glimpse that there was something more inside of me than what was so overshadowed by the peoples dysfunctions I was been living around. I was finally able to uncover & discover that me
Was Leo a Samoyed?
I loved to know your story with Leo. Itís incredible the role that pets may play.
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