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Old 01-07-2019, 06:10 PM   #11
Nowinners
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

I wonder if feeling like you don't fit in is a type of social anxiety?
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Old 01-07-2019, 06:15 PM   #12
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

My parents nor my H (ex now) ever fit in anywhere. Made my life difficult because I wanted to fit in at some level while keeping my independent values but had no idea how to.

It has taken the last 11 years being away from it all to sort out myself & learn later in life what many learn growing up.
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Old 01-08-2019, 04:07 PM   #13
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

Always felt and feel that way. An outsider, the strange, the different...it used to give me a very hard time and problems. It took me many years to notice that I was feeling shame of being what and how I was. That with each word, each phrase, each behaviour, I was pretty much asking for forgiveness bc I breath. I forced myself to change whatever to fit in or belong to: Maybe if I change in this or that my physical appearance, I will gonna be able to counteract my social awkwardness. If I get to do such or that perfect, maybe I will be given my own place.

Itís a very powerful strength that shut you down over and over again and never let you look at ahead with hope.
Now, I console myself thinking that I belong or fit in my own rare way lol! And if someone dare to tell me that I have not my own place, even myself, I make sure to make them know that they are wrong and take it on my own.
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Old 01-09-2019, 06:25 PM   #14
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

Yes. And it doesn't bother me anymore. When I was a kid, yes. But not now.
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Old 01-13-2019, 01:15 AM   #15
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

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Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Do you struggle with never feeling like you fit in anywhere or like you are wanted?

Most of the time. But usually, others don't want to hear about my troubles because they have their own and that usually results in them ignoring me and that causes me to close up even more. People want to see rainbows, unicorns, and have some sort of imaginary world where everything is perfect. My world is not that way. So yes, I am alone a lot. I do feel isolated and not wanted by others.
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Old 01-13-2019, 02:07 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floridaman38 View Post
Most of the time. But usually, others don't want to hear about my troubles because they have their own and that usually results in them ignoring me and that causes me to close up even more. People want to see rainbows, unicorns, and have some sort of imaginary world where everything is perfect. My world is not that way. So yes, I am alone a lot. I do feel isolated and not wanted by others.
There is a balance. People don't want to hear nothing but troubles but they will listen to troubles when it is equally balanced with positives in their life or at least a positive way of looking at things. Being around someone who is constantly negative & talks only about their troubles brings everyone down to their level & most people can only take so much of being around that.

That was what my life was like before I left (moved 2100 miles away from) that environment & struck out to create a new positive life & environment for myself.
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Never feel like I fit in



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
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Old 01-13-2019, 03:07 PM   #17
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

I have always been a solitary soul.Growing up within our community I always felt like an outsider,I didn't belong and the others disgusted me with their materialism and focus on looks,clothes and jewels,riches and image.I couldn't wait to find a way to escape the superficiality.Now I no longer try to fit in,just to find people that I get on with and share my caring values.
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Old 01-13-2019, 06:28 PM   #18
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

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Originally Posted by Marylin View Post
I have always been a solitary soul.Growing up within our community I always felt like an outsider,I didn't belong and the others disgusted me with their materialism and focus on looks,clothes and jewels,riches and image.I couldn't wait to find a way to escape the superficiality.Now I no longer try to fit in,just to find people that I get on with and share my caring values.
This is also hard but I donít blame you for not wanting to have anything to do with such marerialistic people.
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Old 01-14-2019, 06:03 AM   #19
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Default Re: Never feel like I fit in

I used to be very insecure with all my relationships. It took therapy and sobriety to learn to be comfortable in my own skin and to know that I do not need the validation of others to like myself, feel a part of, or find my place. This is easy for me to say because I am on the other side but I encourage you to work on this with a good therapist. Feeling like we dont fit in is a double edge sword. On one hand we battle that constant dialogue in our heads about not fitting in, wondering what to say or do next, being hypervigilant about what we do or how we act..and on the other we are so "self absorbed" in our own heads we often neglect the relationships we do have because we are so involved in trying to find out why or if we do not fit in and how to fix it. You cant be a good friend or family member if your mind is constantly on why you do not fit in or you are hyperaware of how you are acting. Its hard to be an active listener with all that backround noise and its hard to be a good friend when one eye is always on ourselves. But I had to learn how to change, it did not come naturally. No I relish in fitting in/being unique. I feel like I can fit in wherever I am because I feel so sure of who I am and have some confidence BUT I also find that I am unique enough where I might stand out not for a negative reason, but because I am a free thinking person at peace with myself.
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Old 01-15-2019, 10:24 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
My parents nor my H (ex now) ever fit in anywhere. Made my life difficult because I wanted to fit in at some level while keeping my independent values but had no idea how to.

It has taken the last 11 years being away from it all to sort out myself & learn later in life what many learn growing up.
Youíre right. We have to sort all this out and learn from it. Iím very sorry for the loss of your beloved Leo. ❤️❤️
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