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Old 12-07-2018, 01:28 PM   #11
Anonymous56870
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Default Re: the hurt doesnt go away!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Some people will say something to encourage you but they are just leading you on. They are cruel people, especially when they know you are a vulnerable, emotionally unstable person.

You’ve talked yourself into a lot of negative feelings about yourself and your prospects. You are not doing yourself any favors either.

Have you tried DBT?

Be kind to yourself and don’t give any credence to this guy’s words.

yes, I am doing DBT now with my therapist. He says I have to get used to being alone and I have to learn to sooth the pain of rejection. I have to learn to stay present with my pain and then it will go away. So all day i have to stay present to my pain because I feel it all the time. I dont do much all day.... just working on myself.
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Old 12-08-2018, 07:26 AM   #12
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Default Re: the hurt doesnt go away!

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Originally Posted by emma345 View Post
yes, I am doing DBT now with my therapist. He says I have to get used to being alone and I have to learn to sooth the pain of rejection. I have to learn to stay present with my pain and then it will go away. So all day i have to stay present to my pain because I feel it all the time. I dont do much all day.... just working on myself.
There's a lot more to DBT than just being present. DBT is meant to help us feel better, not worse. You could try a distress tolerance skill like distracting yourself with something that engages you, or self soothing which I think I mentioned in a previous post.

I'm sorry you're in pain.
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Old 12-08-2018, 02:43 PM   #13
Anonymous56870
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Default Re: the hurt doesnt go away!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Some people will say something to encourage you but they are just leading you on. They are cruel people, especially when they know you are a vulnerable, emotionally unstable person.

You’ve talked yourself into a lot of negative feelings about yourself and your prospects. You are not doing yourself any favors either.

Have you tried DBT?

Be kind to yourself and don’t give any credence to this guy’s words.

thank you for your response.
I have one big negative thought that bothers me all the time.. it is that I'll end up single for my entire life.. with all that it includes... meaning.. having no children, no money (I am poor and I work on the Internet generating only a limited income).. I hoped that a man could help me financially.. at least pay the mortgage.. living alone is expensive anyway. and I am afraid of being alone (now I live with my mom). anyway... I really have to learn to be alone and not be scared... and not be afraid of poverty also. those are the 2 aspects: being alone and being poor.

i thought about getting a social worker to keep me company as I have no other family than my mom and my friends.. well... "friends"- they are all busy with their lives and most of them are in couples with kids.. so they worry about their kids, not about me.
so I talk with my therapist.. about getting used to being poor and being alone... but being alone... especially bothers me!!! i dread loneliness! i dread being home alone at night!! but I'll have to work on it.
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