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Old 02-13-2019, 07:32 AM   #551
LucyD
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Frustrated because I just tried to renew my health insurance online and the site is totally useless!
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Old 02-13-2019, 01:36 PM   #552
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Doing ok today,went to see my mum and to the cafe for a drink and a snack.Came home and slept,then ate,then did some chores.I am resting now.I think I coped well today.
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Old 02-14-2019, 02:58 PM   #553
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today someone came out to fix my tumble drier. I am so glad it's fixed, it's been broken for 2 days (and seeing as I rely on it, it was the longest 2 days of my life).

I started a new creative writing peace today (which will probably end up forgotten about like all the others)

but I love the main character. she's an 8 year old girl that bites things.

had a pretty disgusting dinner, it was all I could do not to throw up on my plate

I also found an online stream for my hospital radio station. it seems they've gotten with the times now and got one (yay)

I am now listening to atlantis
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Old 02-15-2019, 04:30 AM   #554
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showered today which has done absolutely nothing to improve my mood (in fact made it worse, and made me feel dirty)

one funny thing about the shower is that it nearly flooded the bathroom. I find that funny anyway. my 4 year old mind doesn't seem to apreciate the complications it could have caused if it had got through to the bedroom

I am still feeling a little sick from yesterday's dinner (it was disgusting) I will never use that brand again.

no sleep.

today my friend sophie was meant to deliver me some doctor pepper, now it's not coming until tomorrow night. hope I have enough fiz to last me today (I go through it like a hungry dog goes through dog food)

think today I'm going to do some creative writing and listen to music. nothing special going on
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Old 02-15-2019, 05:57 PM   #555
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Thank you Marylin,it has been a while since I posted.My husband died from heart failure.He was 70,& yes he had been sick for several months but refused to get medical help.I was with him when he had the heart attack & holding his hand when he passed.We kept him on life support for 10 days.When I saw there was no hope we gave him up.I spent 10 days & 8 nights in ICU with him,Also had a sister with cancer there & a brother with gall bladder infection.All 3 at the same hospital at the same time.The ordeal left me weak & my BP is high also have Afib.Then after his funeral i had to go back to take care of my 96 yr old mom.My life is hectic,I dont eat right,no rest I even sleep in my clothes in the recliner.Its winter I am cold and miserable.I miss my husband,even if i have family around me.I think about death a lot & have panic attacks once in a while, which make my BP go up.Sorry for the long post but I just need someone to talk to tonight.I really feel beaten,the last 2 months have been the worst time of my life.
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Old 02-15-2019, 10:04 PM   #556
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Originally Posted by loulou2014 View Post
Thank you Marylin,it has been a while since I posted.My husband died from heart failure.He was 70,& yes he had been sick for several months but refused to get medical help.I was with him when he had the heart attack & holding his hand when he passed.We kept him on life support for 10 days.When I saw there was no hope we gave him up.I spent 10 days & 8 nights in ICU with him,Also had a sister with cancer there & a brother with gall bladder infection.All 3 at the same hospital at the same time.The ordeal left me weak & my BP is high also have Afib.Then after his funeral i had to go back to take care of my 96 yr old mom.My life is hectic,I dont eat right,no rest I even sleep in my clothes in the recliner.Its winter I am cold and miserable.I miss my husband,even if i have family around me.I think about death a lot & have panic attacks once in a while, which make my BP go up.Sorry for the long post but I just need someone to talk to tonight.I really feel beaten,the last 2 months have been the worst time of my life.
Hello Loulou2014. I am so sorry you are suffering. No wonder you feel beaten...you've been having a terrible time. I am so sorry that your husband died. May he rest in peace. Your husband was fortunate to have such a devoted and loving wife by his side through his illness and final moments. Do you have any support? Someone close to speak with? Or a therapist for some grief counseling? Please know that I am very sorry for your pain and I wish you peace
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Old 02-16-2019, 12:38 AM   #557
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loulou2014 View Post
Thank you Marylin,it has been a while since I posted.My husband died from heart failure.He was 70,& yes he had been sick for several months but refused to get medical help.I was with him when he had the heart attack & holding his hand when he passed.We kept him on life support for 10 days.When I saw there was no hope we gave him up.I spent 10 days & 8 nights in ICU with him,Also had a sister with cancer there & a brother with gall bladder infection.All 3 at the same hospital at the same time.The ordeal left me weak & my BP is high also have Afib.Then after his funeral i had to go back to take care of my 96 yr old mom.My life is hectic,I dont eat right,no rest I even sleep in my clothes in the recliner.Its winter I am cold and miserable.I miss my husband,even if i have family around me.I think about death a lot & have panic attacks once in a while, which make my BP go up.Sorry for the long post but I just need someone to talk to tonight.I really feel beaten,the last 2 months have been the worst time of my life.
I am sorry to hear your sad story.You certainly have a lot on your shoulders.Looking after your mother who is 92 is hard work and especially as you are not well yourself.Your heart condition won't be helped by all the stress you are under.My mother is 87 and cannot walk,she needs help to eat and use the bathroom,she is almost blind.Panic attacks aren't much fun either.You must try and eat well and get proper rest in your bed so you can sleep well too.
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Old 02-16-2019, 12:39 AM   #558
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I am coping well I think,I am slightly depressed,thinking of the future.
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Old 02-17-2019, 04:05 PM   #559
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mostly a wasted day (again)

been feeling anxious, agitated, a little suicidal and upset over **** all

well, truth be told, a lot of it's probably to do with the fact I have a new alter who is taking over my ****ing life

and she's.... blah. I don't like her
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Old 02-17-2019, 04:56 PM   #560
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I did all I could to distract myself from bad feelings and I still felt bad,not a happy day at all.
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