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Old 09-10-2018, 02:52 PM   #141
raging vortex
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I have coped okay today.

even my chronic pain's been quite low too
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Old 09-11-2018, 07:33 PM   #142
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I handled today well...but it was my day off to spend doing what I like,I went and saw a film at the cinema and ate fish and chips at the pub.
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Old 09-12-2018, 05:19 AM   #143
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I am coping okay with my emotions, but I'm very depressed.

(learning that I can be emotionally stable, but still feel really depressed)
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Old 09-12-2018, 11:49 AM   #144
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Putting on imaginary electric shock collar and vowing not to fight with him didnít work. I canít cope with feeling invalidated by him. The wounds will never heal. I told him what to say, but he still just defends himself. He does that obviously because he truly thinks he didnít abuse me and doesnít feel remorse or compassion for me. Even at the cost of his marriage, he couldnít even say what I wanted to hear. Feeling sad I couldnít cope with being with this infuriating person. Even if I tell myself that he did nothing to me, that it was all me with a disorder who manufactured this push/pull, I canít cope with not getting what I need. Thereís nothing I can do to change my response. I didnít get hysterical. I didnít SH. I can control my emotions to go so over the top that it looks like a disorder. But I canít control my injured dignity which makes me end this toxic marriage. I certainly tried everything I know. I said I would accept him for as he is with no expectations of him changing. But I canít handle him continuing to act the exact same way every time we have the same conversationó even after I put the words in his mouth I want to hear and rehearsed himó he wonít say them, he defends himself.

Yet when confronted, he says he knows he is at fault and he did hurt me, but he wonít say that when it comes up, he defends himself.
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Old 09-12-2018, 03:19 PM   #145
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I was able to ground myself and back down. I know he wonít give me what I want and I am able to accept that. Doing better now. No hysteria, just a few tears and snuck two Benadryl. I think they really work.
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Old 09-12-2018, 04:38 PM   #146
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I am weary,the hard work never ends if it isn't my own chronic illnesses it is looking after my elderly and infirm mother.She needs help with everything,toilet,eating,washing,she needs food cooked or her,to be helped up in the morning and put to bed at night.We have now carers come in to her four times a day,but when they mess up we have to step in.Carers are meant to come in twos today I was there and only one turned up,she had come from 20 miles away to do half an hour with mum and then go back twenty miles but she had not been briefed as to mum's care needs and complained half an hour wasn't enough time to toilet her and feed her and she refused to spoon feed mum saying it isn't written in the care plan and she doesn't have time.If I wasn't there she'd have left mum without lunch.My sister and I stress about the carers not turning up,or new carers turning up and not having a clue what they are doing like what happened today.

I was there luckily so could step in,it makes us stress and it scares mum if the carers don't have a clue and are stretched for time.I want to help but I am not meant to do the care work cos I am ill myself,all I can do is visit mum socially and bring some food when I make meals for myself and visit I take healthy food for mum to eat.It is tiring doing that and visiting her two or three times a week.I gave up my life for her in the past.I want to live for myself now but her needs are greater.My sister says no don't do it let the carers sort it and I say yes,visiting times should be after the carers have left cos when they turn up and things go wrong and we are there the office don't bother sorting it they leave it to us and the carers expect us to tell them what to do instead of bothering to find out mums needs.Like they are meant to know from the office what the care needs of each client are before they turn up the office are meant to message their phones but they don't bother.It makes me angry and sad.

I am tired and it is exhausting,and the worry is making me ill.Why am I always the one has to sort it,but also my sister has much more responsibility,she deals with the care agency and shops for food for mum and sort her bills and money it is a full time job and she has done it for 10 years so if I can help I want to.But I am ill myself,it is so hard,I can't say no to mum when she says she needs company and can't be alone all day.
Mum just came out of hospital a week or so ago,when the carers settle in I am going to limit my visits to two a week,this week I am doing 3,Before she went blind I was visiting mum once a fortnight or once a month,it is tiring going twice a week.We are going to try and see if mum can attend a day centre once a week so she gets out and has company.

I am very sad I want to help but its hard and I need to have compassion for myself too.I was at mum's all day today.dealing with a stroppy carer and texting my sister who was upset about it all too.I didn't like what I had to cope with,I coped,but inside I am dying over it!
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Old 09-13-2018, 05:10 AM   #147
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pretty much the same as yesterday

coping okay but very depressed
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Old 09-13-2018, 03:23 PM   #148
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Me too,same as yesterday.Except today was slightly better,I visited mum and it was ok cos the carers did all the work of looking after her today.
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Old 09-13-2018, 05:19 PM   #149
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felt crappy today but went for a long walk and i feel better now thanks you excersise
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Old 09-14-2018, 07:09 AM   #150
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I am tired,getting through the day with little energy,just going to the cafe for a coffee and to see a film this afternoon.Come home and do the massive pile of washing up in the sink and make food.
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