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Old 03-03-2019, 01:13 PM #11
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

I am sorry you have been dealing with this challenge. Yes, unfortunately toxic people can do things to hurt anyone who they are not happy with. They can even get a high off of causing harm to people they decide they don't like and often choose to practice smear campaigns. It can definitely be hard if you happen to have the skillset where you need to work in that field too. Keep trying if you can as you may actually find someone in that field that hates this Lawyer, you are surely not the only one that can see how toxic she/he is.
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Old 03-03-2019, 05:58 PM #12
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

((LifelongLoner)),


When a toxic person can
no longer control you, they will
try to control how others
see you.


The misinformation will feel
unfair, but stay above it, trusting
that other people will eventually
see the truth, just like
you did.


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Old 03-04-2019, 07:45 AM #13
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
((LifelongLoner)),


When a toxic person can
no longer control you, they will
try to control how others
see you.

Exactly!
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Old 03-04-2019, 10:02 AM #14
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

I know how it feels to be the victim of this challenge as I have experienced it myself. It's especially difficult when it's your own family member, for myself it was my older sister who wanted all the control over my parents and their money and even manipulated them to think I did something I never did. She did this behind my back and I just did not figure it out until my parents were not really in a position where I could actually sit with them and defend myself.

I had also been in a position where I was financially powerless to fight back too. It's very hard to articulate to other people what that feels like on so many levels. It got so bad for me that I would get severely triggered if I tried to see my parents and my sister was there and she most definitely took every step to isolate them so the only way I could see them was if she was there to watch me. Her control was obsessive and she needed to take steps to convince everyone she could that I was a threat, someone that presented danger of some kind.

When you are not this kind of person, when these manipulative tactics are nothing you even think of practicing, it can definitely create a sense of guilt and regret that you missed the red flags until you were faced with the curse of damnation resulting from their smear campaign.

It's VERY hard to articulate how experiencing this can lead to how "unsafe" a person can begin to feel. These comments that can be repeated "just ignore, don't allow, stand up for yourself, take the control back, don't allow this person to upset you this way" and there's probably even more you could add to that, instead of helping tend to make it feel worse in that often the target struggles with shame and guilt and low self esteem. It's hard to explain how experiencing this can severely affect one's trust in others but also trust in self too. PTSD can most definitely make that very challenging and lonely.

I did try to fight back and when someone is a controlling toxic person they tend to have tricks up their sleeve when they are challenged. My lawyer tried to help me to at least find a way where I could visit my parents and get to be alone with them without my sister having to hover and control. My sister insisted that the only time my parents could handle it was in the mornings and she had set it up so that she would get to know the days and times and she made it a point to make sure both my parents had caregivers present and she also made sure I had to call if I was not going to visit. This allowed her to know when so she could make it a point to "hover" around the facilities my parents were in. She also made it a point to make sure both facilities followed her rules, rules they did not have themselves but had to follow HER rules all the while acting out her Drama to get these individuals to believe that I was the BAD GUY in the picture.

Needless to say I did not get to be alone with my parents after all, and I did not get to prevent her from "hovering" around like a stalker. Even when my father was dying and I made the effort to visit him for the very last time, I did not get into the facility right away as it was locked and we had to stand outside and wait. Then I found my father who was not alone as she always made sure a caregiver was there. I was with him saying my goodbye's and as soon as the hour allowed was up, within minutes my sister insisted in walking right into the room invading my very last visit with my father. It's like trying to get some small sense of privacy only to have that invaded by a stench that is impossible to describe.

When you try to share what that was like to experience? You tend to get comments of "well at least you got to's" along with the "just ignore it's" and some more "don't allow it's" too or even "people can only hurt you if you let them comments". I find that when people say that to me all it does is contribute to the shame I feel BECAUSE I FEEL.

I have shared my own challenge, because in all honesty, I don't want to do that to you, I don't want to tell you not to feel or in any way SHAME YOU because YOU DO FEEL. I would rather say to you, I can relate to the challenge and how BADLY IT CAN FEEL.
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:49 PM #15
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LifelongLoner View Post
About a dozen years ago, I took a job with a law firm. I was warned by a co-worker that the senior partner would mistreat/abuse me, fire me and then make sure that I never got another job. I was overworked and there was sexual harassment too. And they fired me for refusing to sleep with a friend of theirs they had hired who was a narcissistic mooch - someone who did not like to work or to pay rent and wanted to move in with me claiming they were in love when, in fact, we had never had a date or sex - just occasional office conversations. The psychopath wanted to fire the mooch's lazy butt but has never forgiven me for refusing to take in her friend even though it was under false pretenses. She calls my employers and tells lies - she lies about everything - and she enjoys lying and mistreating people more than anything.

Well, I've gotten other jobs but none have made me permanent. I have had to remove my work history from Linked-In as it appears the psychopath has been following it and contacting my employers - including my current one - behind my back. My physical and mental health has suffered terribly.

How do you deal with this? It has been going on for 12 years. I have been suffering from C-PTSD and need some relief.
LifelongLoner,

Thank you for sharing this!

I am heartbroken to hear what you have been going through. No one deserves this treatment! Good news is you recognize it for what it is; psychopathy. You already did the best thing you can do - go no contact. I would definitely recommend removing all ties with the psychopath and I would also recommend seeking help in how to deal with them in case you should come across more in the future. There are many out there. We are super sensitive and able to recognize the traits, trust your gut whenever you feel something is off - odds are you are able to detect the similar traits in others.

How have you managed to cope with all of this?

Thanks,
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Old 03-04-2019, 03:50 PM #16
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
((LifelongLoner)),


When a toxic person can
no longer control you, they will
try to control how others
see you.


The misinformation will feel
unfair, but stay above it, trusting
that other people will eventually
see the truth, just like
you did.


I LOVE this! Well said! SOOO true.

Classic Smear Campaigns. In my family there were many toxic individuals and smear campaigns were common. It took nearly 15 years of subtle narcissistic abuse before others began to see the patterns in my abusers. Now they know for themselves and I am thankful. Sometimes people DO become aware, it just takes time.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz
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"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
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Old 03-04-2019, 10:43 PM #17
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Cyber-stalking is a form of stalking. I know the situation is frustrating but please keep trying. I am wishing and praying for your relief. Her relentless pursuit and the stamina to continue this for more than a decade shows her truly-pathological nature.
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Old 03-05-2019, 11:39 AM #18
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

Hi LifelongLoner, just a P.S. here...

If this helps at all, I've asked a question to a therapist on PC linked down below. You can see my name, Ennie on "Asked by." I sympathize and empathize with you as I too have witnessed a ridiculous amount of persistence from a pathological person.

How Can I Get a Narcissist to Let Me Go Emotionally ? - Ask the Therapist
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Old 03-05-2019, 12:58 PM #19
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

your location says you are here in NY .... there are many law enforcement offices that deal with all kinds of crimes here in NY including sexual abuse in the work place. They take these reports very very seriously in that there is actually rape and sexual abuse tasks forces here. my point is all you need to do is walk into any police station and tell them you want to talk to one of their sexual abuse officers to make a report against a past employer. they will contact the sexual abuse department and have no less than two officers taking your statement. then these officers who's job is is to work with sexual abuse crimes will do their investigating... (hey did you know that the law and order SVU squad really exists, its not called exactly that but NY actually does have police departments that work just on sexual abuse cases just like on the TV show. many of the shows episodes and characters and actors are part meeting with these actual squads so that they can portray the show as close to reality as they can. even use some cases that have been headlined for their show. one of the actresses actually has a consultant with the police so that she can keep it real. )

my point is here in NY sexual crimes are taken very very seriously, and if you report what happened / is happening to you it will be taken seriously and investigated to its fullest.

NY also has a crime victims board where victims of sexual abuse can contact them for help and crime victimes board can compensate (give you money ) for your therapy, prosecution and so on costs.

my suggestion when you are ready contact any of the police departments and sexual crimes units in those police departments. they can help you stop this when you are ready.

also heads up the SVU actors from the show frequently have fund raisers, raise awareness for child abuse along with rape and sexual abuse where they hand out information, phone numbers and so on where a child or adult can get help with all kinds of abuse and sexual crimes. some have their own websites that tell where you can meet and greet, talk with them and learn about whats out there and how to go about stopping sexual abuse even in the work place.
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Old 03-05-2019, 01:36 PM #20
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Default Re: I am being hounded by a psychopath.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie View Post
Hi LifelongLoner, just a P.S. here...

If this helps at all, I've asked a question to a therapist on PC linked down below. You can see my name, Ennie on "Asked by." I sympathize and empathize with you as I too have witnessed a ridiculous amount of persistence from a pathological person.

How Can I Get a Narcissist to Let Me Go Emotionally ? - Ask the Therapist
It seems that there is nothing I can do. All this is making my C-PTSD much, much worse. The authorities do not want to get involved.
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