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Old 01-26-2019, 03:36 PM   #1
Omers
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How do you prefer to identify yourself when talking about trauma?
I am at a point where I am not a victim of abuse any more
Calling myself a survivor makes me feel like one more hash mark on some creeps list of victims.
Calling myself a fighter just seems flat out wrong as I am too peaceful
I just canít find a term that fits. Poor T called me a survivor last session and got his head bit off. Poor guy. He has been SO sensitive about everything. He never thought that calling me a survivor would set me off.
Now I need a word...
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Old 01-27-2019, 03:05 PM   #2
Skeezyks
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Well... my circumstances are such that I would not be in a situation where I would need to identify myself in relation to trauma. But, were I to be, I think I would probably just try to describe what occurred rather than to apply a term to it. I couldn't describe myself as being a victim, although that perhaps is what I was. I just dislike the term. And I don't feel much like a survivor because I still struggle with it even after all of these years. Fighter I don't think works either. I'm not a "fighter" in any sense of the word. If I had to use some term to describe what happened to me I'd probably say I was a target; because that's what it felt like. I doubt, though, that is quite what you had in mind when you posted this. Hopefully there will be other members who will have better suggestions.
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Old 01-28-2019, 10:42 AM   #3
amandalouise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Omers View Post
How do you prefer to identify yourself when talking about trauma?
I am at a point where I am not a victim of abuse any more
Calling myself a survivor makes me feel like one more hash mark on some creeps list of victims.
Calling myself a fighter just seems flat out wrong as I am too peaceful
I just canít find a term that fits. Poor T called me a survivor last session and got his head bit off. Poor guy. He has been SO sensitive about everything. He never thought that calling me a survivor would set me off.
Now I need a word...
back in the days when I was where you are at, didnt consider myself to be a victim but yet the term survivor didnt fit. I called my self a human being. I would tell my treatment providers

"lets not label this victim or survivor, Im a human being doing the best I can right now, thats all I am a human being"

they would smile at me and say yes you are a human being and you are doing the best you can right now.
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Old 01-28-2019, 09:12 PM   #4
Omers
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Thanks! For a crazy cat lady I really hate boxes. For now we have compromised on resilient and resourceful. They donít do much to explain the circumstances but the donít bug me either.
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Old 01-29-2019, 01:58 AM   #5
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I hate both terms victim and survivor, too. I feel that a survivor is just another way of saying "victim". I don't call myself any special term. I refer to my past as "things that happened to me". I don't like the idea of basing my identity on events or symptoms. I may say "my trauma" but that's like saying "my brown hair" or "my toothache". But I definitely wouldn't call myself "a victim or survivor of toothache".
If there's a situation where a term has to be used I like saying something like "people with trauma have these symptoms". But I don't use this as my everyday identity.
To me, trauma is a set of symptoms I have, not who I am.
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Old 02-02-2019, 10:11 AM   #6
OliverB
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"Another person with parents that shouldn't have been parents"
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