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Old 12-05-2018, 12:53 PM   #1
Pfrog
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Unhappy Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

RE: COMPLEX PTSD & LOSING ONES SYSTEMS OF MEANING

What it means to lose your systems of meaning ...

1. You don't trust anyone or anything - including yourself.

2. You don't believe in anyone or anything - including yourself.

3. Hope & Faith are something that got lost and/or tossed along the way.

You want these things, but the brutality of all the previous betrayals by your abusers have you hiding like a whipped puppy underneath the porch.

You want to come out and play.

To experience what it is like to be touched, held and loved in a nurturing way ...

But, you're just too damned scared to allow yourself the risk of another betrayal by another human being at the expense of your mind, body and soul.

*************

I had previously posted this here at PC (a couple of years ago) before I left and came back ... I wanted to revive (revisit) it because I'm still struggling mightily with it and often feel so thoroughly defeated by it ... It's been like this my whole life - even before I know that there was a name for what's been ailing me ... Not sure if I'll ever be able to overcome it or not and that makes me feel extremely empty, sad, bereft and lonely.

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Old 12-05-2018, 01:22 PM   #2
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I have sometimes quipped that, when they wrote that line in the Bible about oh ye of little faith, they had me in mind. I don't know if I could be diagnosed as having cPTSD since I've never been offered a proper diagnosis of anything (too old to make it worth worrying about I suppose.) But I can sure relate to numbers 1, 2, & 3 on your list. In my case, though, I don't really even want any of it anymore. To my mind it's all just a chimera. I just want to be left alone. Still... the way I live isn't something I would recommend to anyone else. So I hope you find the strength to overcome...
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Old 12-05-2018, 03:45 PM   #3
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Default Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

Thank you so much for posting this, pfrog

I've got nothing to say except for: "Have you read my mind since you describe my thoughts so accurately?"
I hope this thread gets more responses. I will certainly read them. Me...I'm too exhausted to even begin writing about this topic.
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Old 12-05-2018, 04:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

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Old 12-05-2018, 04:51 PM   #5
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Default Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
I love nature, simplicity and minimalism (quoted from your signature line) ...
Me Too!

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Old 12-05-2018, 05:54 PM   #6
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Default Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

Here is a good video to watch about complex ptsd

YouTube

and the second part is:

YouTube
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Old 12-06-2018, 10:16 PM   #7
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Default Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

Thanks for the links, but my parents and siblings used god and religion to justify their abuses of me, so with that also being a contributing factor to me developing Complex PTSD, I was unable to continue watching them as I found them to be too triggering ... Nevertheless, it is possible that they may be helpful for those that have not experienced long term religious or cult type abuses.

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Old 12-07-2018, 03:43 PM   #8
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Default Re: Complex PTSD & Losing Ones Systems Of Meaning (Revisited) ...

I did notice that these videos are on some Christian site, but the information was actually very good. I was not able to sit and watch the entire talk but from what I did see the woman wasn't really applying religion. I understand how that can be a trigger if you grew up in a family that turned to religion abusively or to encourage shame and control.

Actually, there has been more awareness of this challenge and if we are to expect someone to develop a healthy religious and spiritual connection, it's good to understand those who struggle due to their history of trauma and how to help them and support them within a religious community. Yes, religion has been used in unhealthy ways like many other aspects within humanity Pfrog.
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