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Old 03-13-2019, 01:07 PM #11
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

((TheUrOther)),

Please know it isn't just you. This is something that is being heavily studied and they are learning more and more as they continue to study PTSD and how it affects the brain in the sufferer and what kind of treatment improves the person's challenges with it.

It is known that a child's experiences growing up can have life long affects on them. It is known that a child can experience life long challenges if that child grows up with an alcoholic parent or parents. This is something I myself experienced as my father was a binge alcoholic. Also my father was a WWII war veteran and he never really got over all the things he experienced during his time spent during that war. My father joined the services when he was barely 17 years old, he was really still immature to be exposed to a lot of the things he was exposed to. He often had said that he had not expected to live as long as he did (he just passed away nearing age 93). Also, his father was also a war veteran that participated in both WWI and WWII, and his father was an alcoholic and a mean drunk. His mother ended up running away when my father was only about 12 years old and he really NEVER got over his mother abandoning him like that. For years he did not know if she was even alive or not and there was gossip going around that people had thought his father murdered his mother too.

My father's history affected the way he treated my mother, he was very controlling with her and he tended to say things to her that had a bad affect on her self esteem. It was very hard to witness the way he treated my mother growing up. Not a healthy thing for a young girl to witness and try to understand why daddy is so critical and mean to mommy.

I also suffer from complex PTSD, I have slowly learned in therapy and by doing a lot of reading on my own that because of my history I was very susceptible to developing PTSD if something traumatic enough happened to me. Actually, when I finally shared my history with my therapist who was a trauma specialist, he was amazed at how resiliant I had been considering how many traumas I had suffered not only in my childhood but during my teens and young adulthood.

However, I did not neglect my child, instead I was very nurturing and loving and without realizing it, I wanted to make sure my own child did not have any of the experiences I had when I was little. I did not allow any hitting or abuse in my own home. I made it a point to read to her and talk to her and I wanted her to feel "safe' to talk to me about anything that bothered her. Unfortunately, one of her challenges was how her piers often did not have the same kind of parenting so she struggled to understand how her piers were often mean and some were bullies too.

Sometimes it's hard to prepare a child for what to expect from their piers even though you try very hard so your child feels loved and safe.

When things got bad was when I suffered a lot of loss that overwhelmed me and I developed PTSD. I had no idea why I was struggling so badly and it did scare my daughter and I still feel horrible about that and she was about 24 when that happened and she just did not understand it, and I could not help with that because I did not understand it myself.

The important thing to remember is that no one CHOOSES to develop PTSD. And yes, it is easy to believe that a lot of parents suffered from it not even realizing it too. Actually, what has been discovered is that a lot of individuals who become alcoholics actually are also suffering from PTSD. They don't even realize they are using the alcohol to deaden that challenges they are suffering due to their PTSD. It is important to remember that it was not too long ago that drinking alcohol was considered pretty normal and lots of businessmen engaged in conducting business with what was called "martini lunches" or that it was normal to come home from work and sit and have a few beers or drinks too.

Actually I am 62 and I do know that in my own generation it was considered normal and ok to drink more and have alcohol at gatherings, even provide alcohol when parents got together for child birthday parties. I saw that happen a lot actually and my own business certainly exposed me to more child birthday parties than I can count now.

We really are just learning how a person's childhood affects them for the rest of their lives.
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Old 03-13-2019, 03:46 PM #12
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

Quote:
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Please know it isn't just you.
That seems to be worse; I don't want anyone else to have to suffer this at the hands of humankind.

Quote:
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We really are just learning how a person's childhood affects them for the rest of their lives.
We can send a person to the moon, but have no idea how to keep a child safe and healthy. Nice priorities, mankind.
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:49 PM #13
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

Well, a lot of people "do" suffer from PTSD. I suffer from it myself and I do know how difficult it can be. I am sorry you are struggling. As I mentioned in your other thread, it may help if you can move away from the area you live in. There are states where people are friendlier.
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:17 PM #14
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

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Well, a lot of people "do" suffer from PTSD. I suffer from it myself and I do know how difficult it can be. I am sorry you are struggling. As I mentioned in your other thread, it may help if you can move away from the area you live in. There are states where people are friendlier.
Nobody is going to be "friendlier" because their toxicity is inherent to the species, not the individual. In fact, unless the person is outcast, there are no true "individuals" in a social species. All people inside society form a unified social gestalt, in which conformity is enforced and any difference is brutally punished. I was perceived to be "different" at an early age and cast out early enough and far enough to never learn how to be "human"; therefore I will always be outcast no matter where I go. That's how society works. Anyone who is different is denied everything in society until they die.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:40 PM #15
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

Well, it's true in that it's very common for human beings to form social gestalts where certain conformities are expected and enforced. We tend to be a bit of a tribal species it's evident throughout human history. That being said, being different doesn't always mean rejection, often being different can become a fad, something people can be drawn to where they want to follow. Human beings can be very maleable. This is why "different" can be a threat to those who prefer an older generational norm.
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Old 03-14-2019, 01:02 AM #16
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

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Well, it's true in that it's very common for human beings to form social gestalts where certain conformities are expected and enforced. We tend to be a bit of a tribal species it's evident throughout human history. That being said, being different doesn't always mean rejection, often being different can become a fad, something people can be drawn to where they want to follow. Human beings can be very maleable. This is why "different" can be a threat to those who prefer an older generational norm.
I have never been accepted by another human being; not during childhood, not during twenty years of active searching during adulthood. People were actively encouraged to abuse me as a child; these behaviors continue to this day me being an adult. If no one said anything against my abuse my entire childhood and I could not find a single person to accept me among a machine-enforced random sampling (i.e. immune from my own biases) of thousands of people when I searched as an adult, what are the odds that the next person will accept me? My math says zero.

I am universally considered too alien to be allowed to exist.

Don't try to make me feel better; give me information I can use.
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Old 03-14-2019, 08:40 AM #17
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

Have you ever listened to this? Just posting it for you to check out, may help or not. Ill leave that up to you to decide.

Childhood PTSD and Getting Triggered: How Can You Feel Safe? - The Crappy Childhood Fairy
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Old 03-14-2019, 01:28 PM #18
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

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Have you ever listened to this? Just posting it for you to check out, may help or not. Ill leave that up to you to decide.

Childhood PTSD and Getting Triggered: How Can You Feel Safe? - The Crappy Childhood Fairy
I do not philosophically believe in the concept of "safety". I believe the concept of "safety" is philosophically false - it doesn't really exist; it is an illusion. Also she goes out of her way to state she's focusing on emotional safety; I'm always talking about physical dangers; human beings pose a constant physical threat to me. Finally, I'm not being "triggered"; my beliefs are constant and do not turn on or off depending on the situation.

Simply put, the video isn't relevant to my situation. Thank you anyway.


EDIT: After more reading, it's clear she's selling a good or service. I'd advise being skeptical.

Last edited by TheUrOther; 03-14-2019 at 01:44 PM.
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Old 03-14-2019, 03:27 PM #19
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

How a Parent’s PTSD Affects Children | The Oaks at La Paloma Treatment Center
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Old 03-14-2019, 11:06 PM #20
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Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

What kind of therapy do you see helping you? Just curious
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