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Old 01-09-2018, 07:11 PM   #121
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We are moving back this weekend. I can not go back to my previous T or Pdoc there company is maxed out on anyone with Medicare insurance. I知 set up with same company another town over but literally I am losing it, 6 years with my Pdoc and T and i just want to quit I didn稚 by even know how to do T with someone else , where do I begin ? I refuse to walk through all the past trauma and assaults with a stranger T , I値l quit it all now meds or T also the latest med for my Arthritis is a total fail.

23 weeks today and I have not been able to move on and sleep even the 2-3 hours a night without nightmares ptsd is ruining my life and now I have no one to turn to provider wise that I desperately need.

Maybe I値l go home and sleep for weeks or becoming suicidal and need Ip if I can hold on long enough.

I知 so defeated and see no real hope. By the time I can even get into a new psych place my meds will run out, I should just ditch them now anyway.

Sorry I am such a downer, I just see no light at the moment

Hugs to you all

Sorry my rambling makes no senec
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Old 01-10-2018, 05:23 AM   #122
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my goes out to you, Christina~
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:14 PM   #123
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Christina, my heart goes out to you. I can tell you that I didn't think I could share with my new pdoc, but I managed to do it and found he is very kind and helpful. Please don't give up hope.

Christmas with my family was a fiasco. It was very painful.

Thank you all for your condolences. I really appreciate it. My cousin's mother embarrassed me on purpose in front of a crowd of people at the restaurant we went to after the services. I wanted a hole to open in the floor and let me escape. My cousin didn't hear what was said but his wife did and now they are going to tell off the mother over me. She asked if I was wearing my real hair, if that was my real color and on and on until she actually asked me if those were my real teeth and if I wore my dentures all the time. It was like being a foil in Theater of the Absurd.

My ex's death was hard because the obituary painted this abuser, thief and liar as a saint. I was infuriated and diminished. At least I can go on that side of the valley now without fear of being shot.

What I haven't told you is that my son called me right before Christmas. He started screaming at me over the phone and told me so many vile and hateful things. I had no idea he hates me. It was a complete shock. He said I wouldn't hear from him again. No one can hurt me like he can. My heart is broken and I am left confused and shaken. How can he possibly hate me?

I've been sick, too. The antibiotic didn't clear up the infection in my ears and I have been falling. I go back in two weeks, but I don't think I'll last that long, if I can get an appointment.

In the meanwhile, Belle and I stick together.

I am so blessed to have Belle and all of you. You are my family.
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:18 PM   #124
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:13 PM   #125
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wishing you a better year ahead~!
Happy Birthday, Kiya~!
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Old 01-11-2018, 09:20 PM   #126
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Hey y'all. Sorry I've been MIA. I had some labs come back right around the beginning of the year that my GP didn't like, cholesterol and glucose. So trying to eat better is on my list right now... but also came down with the flu this past weekend and I am so exhausted right now. Getting better, but still feel pretty awful.
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Old 01-12-2018, 04:05 PM   #127
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sweet dreams, and a healing rest ~
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:21 AM   #128
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Hello Friends,

I hope you are all safe and warm. It's so cold here, although the apartment is warm enough except for the floors, of course.

I'm going to try to go see my GP over the ear infection. They are both infected now and have fluid. I've been sick with my colitis since Christmas. I'm down to where I can't tolerate dry toast. I guess I need to see if I can get an appt. with the specialist very soon.

My sleeping has been erratic. This morning Belle decided it was time to wake up but I wanted to sleep some more. So, Belle stood on the side of my face with both her front paws. She won!

Love you.
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Old 01-14-2018, 11:17 AM   #129
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Hello all. Haven't been online much the last week. I went back to work Monday. By the time I got home at night I was too tired to even bother turning on the computer.

The arctic weather blasting the country worked its way to the Sunshine State yesterday. Temps are nothing compared to Northern states, but mighty cold for here. I spent time yesterday bringing all my potted plants in the house. Weatherman is predicting freezing temps at night here. I know for those of you experiencing negative temps as your high that doesn't sound like much, but remember this is a subtropical area. Our poor plants can't tolerate such low temps.

The cold front that brought these temps caused both my fibro and arthritis to flare last week. I kept looking for the ice pick someone was stabbing into my left knee it hurt so bad.

Since tomorrow is MLK Day I have a nice three day weekend. I plan to spend most of it in front of the fireplace enjoying the warmth!
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:01 PM   #130
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it's lovely to hear from you both~! (even if it's hard to know what's been keeping you down~
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