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Old 05-18-2018, 03:02 AM   #1
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Default what Do You do when you always hated your own Family

i understand that families aint prefect. have i have hard trouble viewing my family has fake, controlling , manipulative. they never admit to anything wrong AND some how they got the room to talk or tell me how i should live or do. self centered. even growing up i just never really cared to want to spend time with them. or care about them at all. cause they have always had the need to control me all threw out my life. and they just tell me there just helping me. when thats not what i feel. and cause of this i became rebel against whatever they tried to get me to do. even if it really bad i just wont do what they want. but they know how to guilt trip and even still take control of things.
I just grew so much hate for them they cant figure out why am so mean to them. They have helped me when needed. But i am still confused to why i feel so much hate ?
i cant being around them no longer then 5 mins at the least.
i lived with some of my family but all i want to do is find way to get out in my head am thinking it , but dont go anywhere
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Old 05-19-2018, 02:43 PM   #2
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Smile Re: what Do You do when you always hated your own Family

Well... I don't know as I have much of anything to offer in the way of an answer to the question you posed in your title. I don't know as I'd say I always hated my family. But I didn't like them... & I got as far away from them as possible as soon as I could. I basically never went back. They're all long since dead now. And I still can't work up much in the way of fond memories for them. Sometimes I wonder if it was more me than them. But I really don't know. I suppose there was probably plenty of blame to go around. Anyway... I would presume this is the sort of thing one would need to explore, in depth & over time, in therapy if one wanted to get to the bottom of it. I don't have any plans to do so.
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Old 05-23-2018, 02:44 PM   #3
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Trig Re: what Do You do when you always hated your own Family

I'm one of these hopeless believers- I believe that one day, when my family are lying on their death bed, they are going to take everything back and wish they'd spent time getting to know me and treating me like a person, rather than a ****ing toy

but who am I kidding

cold hearts.. the ****ing lot of them
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Old 06-02-2018, 11:45 AM   #4
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Default Re: what Do You do when you always hated your own Family

I didn't hate my family but basically just coexisted fighting with them a lot.

My mom had such a lack of self-esteem & self-confidence all my growing up life & everything was about what she wamted & needed. She grew up a lot after I left home & SHE got a job & realized she was actually capable of more.

However at her death with camcer it was all about her again. I thought how strange she never really talked to me about anything that might have been on her heart at the end of her life but she was totally in denial that it was the end of her life. I was around her 24/7 almist the whole last month. I wondered about my mom, then a few years later a good friend list his wife to cancer. I stayed with her while he was working & I found out what a real person full if grace was like at the end of her life.

I don't resent that my mom was the way she was.....the one thing I do know is that from my parents I learned more what I didn't wamt to be like or do with my life than I learned from them what to do. No resentment. I wish that I myself had not overcompensated so much in fighting not to be like them....

BUT IN my age, I just look back at life (my parents are no longer alive & I was a long line if knly children so no family there either) & go yep, that makes sense is what it was. Enjoy the life you now have.....the past is done & over.

In loving memory of Mister my first & very special horse
WyndSong Farm

“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
(Charles M. Blow)
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Old 06-03-2018, 04:59 AM   #5
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Default Re: what Do You do when you always hated your own Family

I sadly can relate to this. I don't really hate my family so much as I just can't be around them. Honestly? Putting distance between me and them was hard but it was good for me. Sometimes that's the only answer. It's rough with family because toxic and abusive behaviors get so cemented in the way a family operates. These things can be really hard to change and they cut really deep.
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