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Old 12-02-2017, 09:33 AM   #1
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Default where do you think your parents went wrong?

this afternoon I was thinking about the abuse from my family as a child, and where it might have started.

and the best I can come up with was that the reason it happened, is because they couldn't accept me for me.

I know it can't explain the early years of no love or hugs and kisses, but I know when I was diagnosed with MI, my family were outraged

it was such a crime to have someone "diffrent" in the family, that I was treated diffrently... isolated, hit, made to feel like I was nothing- because that's what they probably believed.

people with MI don't think much of themselves anyway, so let's make sure she knows how bad she is.

do any of you have any theories where your parents went wrong?
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Old 12-02-2017, 10:08 AM   #2
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

No theories. I know where my parents went wrong. It really is too much to list, but it started from my first year of life.

My dad was never around. He physically abused me, starting with a dislocated shoulder at 2.

My mom was there but never present. Either totally ignored me, or abused me mentally and emotionally through many different ways.

My sister took care of me the first year of my life. Taught me to talk, etc. She told me that I'd start crying and my mom would yell at her to "go get that baby".

There's just too much to list. As with the WHY'S, my mom came from a broken home herself, where her alchoholic father beat his wife and kids, and she was molested as a young girl.

I know she only did what she knew how, but the damage was done. She hurt all of us kids, and I see it plain as day.

And she will never admit it. It would be nice to get recognition of the truth from her, but I've accepted that will never happen.
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Old 12-02-2017, 06:14 PM   #3
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

All I know is, I'm tired of being angry. Before a few years ago, I blamed myself for everything. Then my perspective changed, and I got angry. Angry at what happened, and angry at my mother. And I'm tired of being angry.
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Old 01-09-2018, 05:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

My parents recently told me they wished they were more educated about ADHD, when I was younger.

Instead of using the now outdated old school spanking/tough love methods of discipline, they experienced during their own childhoods, which only made things worse.








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Old 01-10-2018, 02:06 AM   #5
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

My parents were abused and traumatized themselves and had no idea how to parent. They just reenacted what was done to them.
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Old 01-18-2018, 06:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

My parents lived in a dream world. They were so busy trying to make things the way they they wanted it, they forgot to look at how life really is. This included their philosophies in raising their children. They never really knew me. They just tried to make me into their image of what they wanted their kids to be. Which was an idealized version of themselves.

Basically they wanted sims, not kids.
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Old 01-19-2018, 07:39 AM   #7
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

Well, my Dad meant well. He was a really wonderful person in a lot of ways, but he came form a very poor family of six kids. His Dad died of TB when he was about 16. My Dad quit school and went in the army when he was 17. Ended up fighting in the Battle Of The Bulge. Always suffered from PTSD after that. Was never able to express emotions.

My Mother came from a home where her Dad would go to town, drink, get in a fight, come home and beat up on his family. The kids used to hide under the bed while he beat their Mother. Also, my Mother was born two months early back in 1935 when they did not know much about taking care of premies. The only way she survived was that she was born in Minneapolis. I believe she always suffered from ADHD, although it was never diagnosed. She was always very unhappy in her marriage, and I was her counselor. Both of my parents suffered from depression and poor self esteem. They meant well, but really weren't good parents. Basically didn't even notice what was going on with their children except when we rocked the boat in some way.
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Old 01-19-2018, 04:45 PM   #8
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

My parents were just a product of their environment. My Dad was incredibly strict and abusive, while my mother cowered in the corner while he exploded at me. It was an incredibly toxic environment to live in fear as a child. But what happened was that I became EXACTLY like my father in my teen years, rebelled, fought back intensely and eventually left home at 15 and lived on the streets to find my own way.

My parents deeply regret what happened to me, because during the time I left home, I was completely acting out in my bipolar episodes, causing havoc on myself and others around me.

In the end, they welcomed me home with open arms, and helped repair years of damage as I try and rebuild my life, on medication, and in a place of peace.

Although, I am very jealous of my younger sister in many ways, becasue my father learned from the mistakes he made with me and was very lenient with her. She ended up being a big succees, college educated, with a great career, tons of friends and a wonderful boyfriend. I can't help but think if he treated me like he treated her, I would have turned out differently.
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Old 01-20-2018, 09:20 AM   #9
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

My parents went wrong by having sex. End of story.
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Old 01-20-2018, 02:31 PM   #10
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Default Re: where do you think your parents went wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1 View Post
My parents went wrong by having sex. End of story.


I think like that sometimes too.

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