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Old 10-13-2017, 08:13 PM   #1
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Default CEN makes me feel immature

Do you feel like the CEN you suffered makes you feel as though you never grew up?
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I am an RN who is now not working and on permanent disability (SSD) for PTSD.
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I currently isolate everyday. I am ok with that, but some times feel lonely. However, I do not want to have a relationship in the real world in person as people make me nervous. I have trust issues.
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Old 10-22-2017, 07:45 PM   #2
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

yeah. Its hard to grow up when your all alone. recently I just feel like a baby and all my emotions exhaust me. I always feel like I need someone to cuddle me. I even thought of asking someone out just so I would get some physical affection, and in life maybe id get married and pop out a couple kids just so I have a family. and lately I feel like I can't do anything. I'm just so alone and weak and defenseless. I don't know how anything works. and I've been so irritated around authority figures. I just want to say **** you to them all the time but I don't have energy to take over and make things better. I just want someone to take care of me.

is it weird that I still suck my thumb? it can be very soothing.
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Old 10-22-2017, 11:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

Yes. It's frustrating.
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Old 10-30-2017, 06:25 PM   #4
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

It is very hard to grow up ďall aloneĒ
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Old 11-01-2017, 07:50 PM   #5
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

Yeah, I know that I feel very frustrated with myself.

I automatically blame myself for being so emotionally immature. I wish that I could stop blaming myself for everything, but it's very hard for me. I've been doing that for as long as I can remember!

I'm afraid that fixing myself is going to be very challenging for me. My TBI makes learning new things/ways extremely tough. Great.
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Old 11-03-2017, 07:07 AM   #6
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

Quote:
Originally Posted by emptynightmare View Post
is it weird that I still suck my thumb? it can be very soothing.
I do too. That is probably my deepest, darkest secret. No one in my offline life knows that.

I have the same feelings inside that you all mention here. I desperately need to be cared for, hugged, nurtured, etc. But on the exterior I am told I display a pretty fierce independence and competence. But I have to; I have no family, and few friends. If I fall apart, I have no help or safety net. Sometimes I'm emotionally exhausted and I feel like I can't function, but I still have to. I've gotten written up at all of my jobs for calling in sick so much (usually just first warnings). But now that I'm in a professional role, I'm afraid, one of these days, they'll just fire me.
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Old 11-08-2017, 01:04 AM   #7
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

Yes, definitely in a lot of ways. Soo naÔve here too. You're not alone, take care.
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Old 11-12-2017, 08:29 PM   #8
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

I can relate as well.
Needing constant positive reforcement and not being able to make decisions for myself.
I am 49 years old for crying out loud!
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Old 11-13-2017, 04:34 PM   #9
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

Yeah. I have a hard time trusting myself to make decisions. I often feel like a child lost in the wilderness, looking for an adult she can trust to take her hand and not let go while she is guided to safety. Self-esteem was not properly developed. Tools and skills that would help me function in adulthood were not provided/taught. I'm riddled with self-doubt; stumbling, indecisive, afraid. The child still lives within, longing to be held, to be heard, to be happy.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:20 PM   #10
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Default Re: CEN makes me feel immature

Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal blue View Post
Do you feel like the CEN you suffered makes you feel as though you never grew up?
I get that. Lately Iíve been isolating myself more and more. I finding that every relationship Iím in is about me Providing something for the other person but thereís no return. I go out of my way and then i end up losing out. Then i donít speak to my family. My therapist forgets our appointment and then goes mia when i voice my issues about my week being horrible and today topping everything off. My kids T has taken my exís side. My oldest son is bought by my ex and has betrayed me.

So yes I totally get the isolation part and trusting others. Itís almost like you question peopleís agenda.
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