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Old 07-02-2013, 03:00 PM   #21
Moodswing
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It had been 5 days but I feel like walking away from life.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:17 PM   #22
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Hey Moodswing, thinking of you. Well done for being so strong.
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Old 07-04-2013, 11:59 AM   #23
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It has been 6 days since I B/P. I will be drinking homemade Mojitos later. Bulimia and alcohol do not mix but cold minty Mojitos in the hot sun are so good
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:36 PM   #24
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I give up. One of these days I will make it to 7 days. I suppose once a week is better than everyday.
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Old 07-06-2013, 10:56 AM   #25
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Today is not going to be a good day. I can feel it. I am down on myself...how I look, my weight, my lack of confidence and faith. It is the same F'n story over and over. I just can not break the chains that bind me. I am back to wishing I die in my sleep.
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Old 07-06-2013, 03:02 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moodswing View Post
Today is not going to be a good day. I can feel it. I am down on myself...how I look, my weight, my lack of confidence and faith. It is the same F'n story over and over. I just can not break the chains that bind me. I am back to wishing I die in my sleep.
I can see myself in your words... I will tell you just what I should tell myself but never do:

Please, don't give up.
I know it sucks, I know your life's hell, I know you feel trapped and frustrated, but there IS life beyond this.
You are not a different person when you put on a kilo or 5. Your beauty, inner and outer, is still there. And it still shines, despite all the tortures you put yourself into. You're still the same woman, you still carry all your good qualities with you, even on the days you spend binging and purging and feel like a complete loser.
Well, the thing is that: You are NOT a loser. You are a strong person dealing with extremely tough emotions most people would have never managed to cope with sanely. B/p cycles are your way out. A root of escape...
You can find another root! Your body already found one. It's your brain's turn now. You can do it.
Just...please, please don't give up...
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Old 07-11-2013, 08:03 PM   #27
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If I make through to Sunday I would have made it 7days. I am not going to make it through tonight unfortunately. Very triggered.
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Old 07-12-2013, 04:24 PM   #28
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But don't sell yourself short, you are trying. Yeah, ok sometimes you fail and you find you need a release but give yourself some credit for what you have achieved.
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Old 07-13-2013, 03:25 PM   #29
Moodswing
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Same cycle. Made it 6 days. Just lost my cookies....literally. I suppose the 3 Mojitos prior with 2 shots of rum each had something to do with it. Plus I ave not Ben feeling well emotionally and did not go to a cook out I was invited to.
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Old 07-13-2013, 03:36 PM   #30
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Oh Dear I just desperate dialed T#1 after I purged because I am feeling horrible about myself. Thank goodness he did not answer. I can't over step my boundaries with T#2 so I knew I could not call him.
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