Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Mental Health Support > Eating Disorders > Bulimia



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 08-12-2017, 11:40 AM   #151
Elder
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 7,071 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
13.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

I can believe it.

Congratulations!
Bill3 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Unread 08-13-2017, 10:56 AM   #152
Poohbah
 
harmonyinheart's Avatar
harmonyinheart has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,221
34 hugs
given
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Yesterday was day 14. Holy s!?!$. I'm unsure if I can hold off another day though.
__________________
Dx

Bipolar 1, GAD, OCD, ED

When the darkness comes, when it seeps into your very being, your core, your soul-don't let go; for your heart will carry you through when it seems that nothing will.
harmonyinheart is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Unread 08-13-2017, 11:30 AM   #153
Elder
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 7,071 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
13.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

More congratulations!

What can help you hold off for today?

Hang in there!

Bill3 is online now   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-14-2017, 12:51 PM   #154
Legendary
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 11,006 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

3 yr Member
3,379 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Great job harmonyinheart! You can do it


day 55 I have been overeating a bit, but I have NOT binged or purged which is the main thing, just got to stay on track. Can't believe this weekend will be 60 whole days
__________________

Feel free to join our Schizoaffective Support Group: http://forums.psychcentral.com/group...e-support.html



R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Unread 08-14-2017, 01:24 PM   #155
Poohbah
 
harmonyinheart's Avatar
harmonyinheart has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,221
34 hugs
given
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Great job harmonyinheart! You can do it


day 55 I have been overeating a bit, but I have NOT binged or purged which is the main thing, just got to stay on track. Can't believe this weekend will be 60 whole days
That's amazing! Great job. Your success is encouraging
__________________
Dx

Bipolar 1, GAD, OCD, ED

When the darkness comes, when it seeps into your very being, your core, your soul-don't let go; for your heart will carry you through when it seems that nothing will.
harmonyinheart is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-14-2017, 01:25 PM   #156
Poohbah
 
harmonyinheart's Avatar
harmonyinheart has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,221
34 hugs
given
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

I slipped and BP'd last night. I made it 14 days without. Back to day one today.
__________________
Dx

Bipolar 1, GAD, OCD, ED

When the darkness comes, when it seeps into your very being, your core, your soul-don't let go; for your heart will carry you through when it seems that nothing will.
harmonyinheart is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-14-2017, 01:28 PM   #157
Elder
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 7,071 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
13.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Congratulations harmonyinheart for your long run of 14 days! No one can take that away from you. Hang in there, you can start another good run!

What was going on such that you slipped?

Bill3 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-14-2017, 02:31 PM   #158
Poohbah
 
harmonyinheart's Avatar
harmonyinheart has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,221
34 hugs
given
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
Congratulations harmonyinheart for your long run of 14 days! No one can take that away from you. Hang in there, you can start another good run!

What was going on such that you slipped?



I think the pressure of maintaining such a streak of no BPingwas part of it. I was so concerned about when it would happen next and had so many obsessive thoughts regarding it I gave in with the foolish hope that these would go away. I felt if I do it now than it will be days before I will feel like I [i]should[i] do it or days before I worry about holding out because I hate it so much it will be not a problem for a few days after I do do it. If that makes sense.
__________________
Dx

Bipolar 1, GAD, OCD, ED

When the darkness comes, when it seeps into your very being, your core, your soul-don't let go; for your heart will carry you through when it seems that nothing will.
harmonyinheart is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-14-2017, 02:46 PM   #159
Elder
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 7,071 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
13.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Yes, it makes sense to me that a streak can itself become a source of added pressure, and that you could think about it as you did, and then BP almost as an experiment if you will, to see if the thoughts would go away.

What did you find out: to what extent did the thoughts go away, at least for a time?

Was 14 days your longest streak ever, or in a long time?

I think that you are doing good work right now on BP, , even though you had that slip. It sounds like it might be helpful to think about and/or speak to your therapist about how to deal with the pressure that may come again if you go a long time without BP.
Bill3 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-14-2017, 07:02 PM   #160
Poohbah
 
harmonyinheart's Avatar
harmonyinheart has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,221
34 hugs
given
Default Re: It has been ____days since I purged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
Yes, it makes sense to me that a streak can itself become a source of added pressure, and that you could think about it as you did, and then BP almost as an experiment if you will, to see if the thoughts would go away.

What did you find out: to what extent did the thoughts go away, at least for a time?

Was 14 days your longest streak ever, or in a long time?

I think that you are doing good work right now on BP, , even though you had that slip. It sounds like it might be helpful to think about and/or speak to your therapist about how to deal with the pressure that may come again if you go a long time without BP.
Well the specific thoughts about BPing have left- the worries about when will I do it next and how long can I hold out etc. now I just think about how I hate it- which isn't so bad I guess. But if the past predicts the future this will last a few days and then I will start debating with myself again

And the 14 day streak was the longest having gone without in a long time, not ever. I actually began throwing up when I was in the hospital for anorexia in 2000. After being released I was severlybbulimic in no time. Then, for years, I would go through periods of remission and periods where the bulimia and anorexic tendencies and thoughts reigned. In college the bulimia worsened more than ever, around 2007-2011. Much of that time was I bulimic, terribly so. Than after graduation I'm 2012 I moved in with my mom as I couldn't afford my own place anymore so I only purged and BPd occasionally. That is, until this March. It returned with a vengeance. I have BPd more since March than I have in the last five years combined, about 100 times at least. It became almost daily very quickly. Then in May I decreased the frequency a little and June a little more and in July I purged only 5 times. Last night was my first in a August, first in two weeks.

So I know I can go without for a lot longer because I have. I just have to get there. It's just I find so much safety in my ED behaviors. I wish I had a counselor that specialized in EDs. I used to, two different ones actually, but one left her practice and my insurance stopped covering the other.

I have Medicare as my primary insurance because I'm on SSDI, and they only cover counselors with a social work degree or licensure-there are none with those credentials and ED specialization anywhere remotely close to me. My new counselor has work d with EDs but made it clear she is not in any way a specialist. My psychiatrist is trying to work a bit with me on it, but we have a lot else to work on. I had a dietician for almost four years but Medicare won't pay for nutritional services now unless I'm in renal failure, diabetic or getting a kidney transplant. Ridiculous insurance.
So I will only be seeing my dietician every 6 weeks and paying out of pocket rather than the once a week visits. She specializes in EDs so was helpful for a lot more than mere nutritional counseling.
That was long winded. I am sorry. Had to get it out I guess.

Thanks for all of your ongoing support. I really really appreciate it.
__________________
Dx

Bipolar 1, GAD, OCD, ED

When the darkness comes, when it seeps into your very being, your core, your soul-don't let go; for your heart will carry you through when it seems that nothing will.
harmonyinheart is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:29 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines