Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-14-2019, 10:13 AM   #1
raging vortex
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,080 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

5 yr Member
2,152 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Trig struggling with abandonment after best friend left

recently my best friend amelia moved away with her family to move on with her life. I knew her for only 6 months, but she knew loads about me- and I was really close to her (somedays talking to her was just as good as talking on this forum)

anyway, after she left (it was on a friday), I felt real intense abandonment- not just by her, but by other people who I knew- I told them that I miss amelia, and they just had no psympathy for me at all. the best response I got was a "oh."

next day I asked someone if they would still be their for me, and they said yes, but not meaningful or anything- and then afterwards promptly forgot about me

at the moment I feel I have no one- no one at all. I sit in my room and cry and believe I'm second nature to anything else, and anyone else

on top of that I can't get past the fact amelia left, and most nights I hear her voice in my head, speaking calmly and friendly, but it feels so taunting at the same time.. like I just want her here and I want to hug her and be with her- but her voice is making me think of her and making me cry

it's even worse than when beth died, a lot worse, which is stupid and makes no sense seeing as amelia is alive
raging vortex is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 01-15-2019, 12:10 AM   #2
luvyrself
Veteran Member
luvyrself has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 662
3 yr Member
61 hugs
given
Default Re: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

When we have a loss we have to work thru it, eg grieve it. There are 5 stages of grief and this takes time. My therapist often mentions that borderlines have a particularly rough time with situations that feel like abandonment. So yr going to need to be very kind to yrself in order to heal. Pamper yrself w feel good experiences and things u donít usually treat yrself to. I couldnít believe how great even a really good facial feels, or a massage or a mani pedi. Do some regular vigorous exercise. If one friend doesnít listen, try other people. Youíll get thru this. You have wonderful times ahead w other friends once u heal.
My friend is going back to Iraq on Monday. He has a dangerous job there. He already has ptsd. He is grumpy and terse. I canít let my own fear and pain ruin our friendship by overreacting to everything.
luvyrself is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 01-15-2019, 02:10 PM   #3
Sisabel
Poohbah
 
Sisabel's Avatar
Sisabel always trying...
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,221 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

348 hugs
given
Default Re: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

Iím sorry youíre feeling sad and I know how hard it is to lose a friend. Are you and Amelia still in touch? Will you be able to talk on the phone at least?
Sisabel is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 01-16-2019, 04:02 AM   #4
raging vortex
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,080 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

5 yr Member
2,152 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
When we have a loss we have to work thru it, eg grieve it. There are 5 stages of grief and this takes time. My therapist often mentions that borderlines have a particularly rough time with situations that feel like abandonment. So yr going to need to be very kind to yrself in order to heal. Pamper yrself w feel good experiences and things u donít usually treat yrself to. I couldnít believe how great even a really good facial feels, or a massage or a mani pedi. Do some regular vigorous exercise. If one friend doesnít listen, try other people. Youíll get thru this. You have wonderful times ahead w other friends once u heal.
My friend is going back to Iraq on Monday. He has a dangerous job there. He already has ptsd. He is grumpy and terse. I canít let my own fear and pain ruin our friendship by overreacting to everything.


thanks for the words of encouragement

I hope your friend is okay too (the one going back to iraq)
raging vortex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2019, 04:04 AM   #5
raging vortex
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,080 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

5 yr Member
2,152 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Iím sorry youíre feeling sad and I know how hard it is to lose a friend. Are you and Amelia still in touch? Will you be able to talk on the phone at least?


she emailed me a couple times after she left, but not anymore

I think she feels the same way in that she feels bad for moving on, but has to get on with things and her life
raging vortex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2019, 06:46 AM   #6
sarahsweets
Poohbah
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,412 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

93 hugs
given
Default Re: struggling with abandonment after best friend left

Is she not willing to remain friends even though she moved?
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:33 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines