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Old 01-14-2018, 07:35 PM   #571
LittleEarthquakes
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I am so angry about something that doesn't even matter!!
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Old 01-16-2018, 02:22 PM   #572
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Been having a couple of rough, hectic weeks. I ended up sleeping through the time for physical therapy. My husband is getting sicker and I'm even more concerned.
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Old 03-12-2018, 03:43 PM   #573
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Well, I realised today I haven't had anything to do with meth or other hard drugs in 4 months. I've been coping with **** loads of cannabis and little treats of alcohol, and haven't cut in 14 days as a result. Also been itching to get my hands on benzos :/
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:16 PM   #574
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JessLynn View Post
Well, I realised today I haven't had anything to do with meth or other hard drugs in 4 months. I've been coping with **** loads of cannabis and little treats of alcohol, and haven't cut in 14 days as a result. Also been itching to get my hands on benzos :/
That's a great accomplishment! Try to avoid the benzos, they're so addictive.
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:28 PM   #575
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Today was rough, likely because I had to get an STI check (because of some recent revelations) and talk to my doctor about what happened. It was defeating and degrading, and I'm not the one who made the reckless decisions in the first place. I'm depressed and no distraction is really working to get me out of the funk, and to stop thinking about things tonight.
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Old 03-12-2018, 10:09 PM   #576
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I am struggling alot with regret and guilt. It is hard for me to see my adult children not having happy lives knowing that me and this disorder caused alot if their adult issus. On top they won't seek any help.
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:53 AM   #577
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Tomorrow I meet with my case manager after having to reschedule because she cpuldnt meet last week due to an emergency. Also we're probably going to go get my Grandma a new TV because it looks like hers broke, I turned it on amd all I got was a black screen. Missed group therapy yesterday because my Mom (who drives me) thought going gambling was more important than taking me to therapy. Less anxiety today than I had yesterday because I actually slept and didn't have anxiety inducing dreams.
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:24 PM   #578
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Iím okay today. Got through last night by praying/meditating. I feel like Iím coping well (Iím dealing with very recent narcissistic abuse). I have a migraine, but thatís not unusual; itís not bad. Took some meds. Gonna go get some Starbucks and run errands.
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Old 03-13-2018, 03:37 PM   #579
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Been a rough couple of days. I thought I was doing great until I saw some pictures of me that my husband took. I look pretty bad. I don't how he says that I'm beautiful. I just look fat, old, and ugly. I'm pretty disgusted with myself, but I do remember that this 1 Ĺ years of stability and I've got other issues going on. I want to get some makeup to cover my face. I don't see it as that bad when I look in the mirror. I need to work out though.

So other than that, things are going well.
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Old 03-19-2018, 08:41 AM   #580
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I was looking for this thread about a month ago. We still aren't 100percent sure I have borderline or why, but I fit much of the criteria. I'm reading this memoir right now, "get me out of here" by Rachel Reiland. It's pretty inciteful. I can relate to a lot of the behavior, but not all of it and not to the extreme of it, although others might disagree. The point is, I'm being destructive enough in my own life and I do have those thought patterns. My therapist is going to start a new type of therapy next week so will find out more then. Um, oh, was just going to say that this memoir references "I hate you, don't leave me", which is another book, I assume some of you must be familiar with it. It looks to be an overview of bpd. I have that next in my list to read, but sometimes it's more easier to relate to a story rather than just a description in scientific format. Anyway, so I'll obviously be hanging around here. Much love to everyone here, for I know this can be a scary and lonely journey sometimes. *hugs*

Oh, eh hem, so on that lonely note. Yea, I am frustrated (mood status) because I'm feeling like im struggling to make connections lately. I mean, I have people in real life, which is most important, I think, but I had something online and I lost it and so every now and again, I feel kind of lost, dare I say it, "empty" sometimes. And past 24hours I've felt this. I think it's just my new med kicking in and I worry about losing hours in the day when it makes me so drowsy I have to sleep. So yeah, currently frustrated.
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