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Old 11-06-2009, 06:57 PM #21
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Thumbs up Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Since I was diagnosed with BPD a few months ago, I've read everything that I can get my hands on about it, which isn't that much, by the way. A lot of the info out there is really outdated. Your list of symptoms are the best that I've come across yet; I'm glad you have such a good doc, Echoes. Thanks for posting them, I could use them as my biography!
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Borderline PD symptoms description

" I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence.
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation,
'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling, and it whispers to me softly,
"Come and play". Aahh, I am falling, and if I let myself go
I'm the only one to blame.

I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel
this party's over?
No pain, inside, you're like perfection, but how do I feel
this good sober?"
(From the song "Sober", by Pink)
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Old 11-08-2009, 05:17 AM #22
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Um yeah i am gonna reply even tho i actually feel like i dont deserve to cuz noone gives a **** about my opinion. I totally know those symptoms very well. I was told one time i think that i had or could have bpd. I have been "hiding" it pretty well for many years. But the dam thing is "saying to me" i am still here. Arg. Idk what to do. Anyway thanx for that post.
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Old 11-09-2009, 12:30 PM #23
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Yep, sounds like me, too! Unfortunately, I hate to admit it...but I know that admiting it is the first step.
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Major Depression, Dysthymia (aka Normal), Numb, Mixed (Dysphoric) Mania, Hypomania , Mania.

Previous Meds: Ativan, Ambien, Celexa, Cymbalta, Geodon, Lexapro, Prozac, Symbyax (Prozac + Zyprexa), Wellbutrin, Xanax, Zoloft, Zyprexa.

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Medical Diagnosis: Bipolar NOS (Rapid Cycling), Anxiety Disorder NOS, BPD.
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Old 11-10-2009, 09:05 PM #24
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES View Post
I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.
As I have gotten to know my illness, I so whole-heartedly agree with why you like this description of BPD.

Upon first learning of this illness, it made me feel even more monstrous than what I had already been feeling.

For me, understanding the diagnosis in a more empathetic way rather than in such a cold and calculating perameter of set behaviours helps me to accept myself as not so monstrous.

The perceptions we have of ourselves: of life, love, fear, reality...


(Ummm, should have just said: "I agree!")
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Old 11-10-2009, 09:28 PM #25
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Quote:
Originally Posted by jessicamr View Post
I was just told last week that I am bp. I am just as described above but not so exaggerated. Could I have been diagnosed incorrectly?
Maybe. There are many symptoms. Some may be more exaggerated in your life than others. Some may not be present at all. You could be at the beginning of the outward expressions of the disorder. The younger you can be accurately diagnosed, and the deeper the acceptance you have of your feelings, the better your chances, I figure.

It took a LONG time with a good therapist to get an accurate diagnosis (extreme honesty - even as you see it - is critical, too, if you want the truth), but I was a classic. And I knew it, deep down inside...when I was honest with myself (and it only had to be with myself to begin with).

(I...I...I... But I do hope this helps!)
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Old 11-13-2009, 03:42 PM #26
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

I think with age, the intensity of the symptoms can lessen.
I also think that in a structured environment the symptoms can be less severe. (The flip side is leaving a structured environment can cause the symptoms to intensify.)
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:45 AM #27
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Thanks Echoes, Despite of all the description listed to be honest I prefer to be manic then depressed coz I feel more energetic and not like now half dead coarpse duhhhhhhh.... and agreed of what u said , and I apologized of my rudeness and anger like a small kid showing tantrum , dont know why I sees ppl around me even in the outside ppl were wearing blacks and whites what were they promoting or trying to say? is that my mania state that they were talking bout us? oh well just hate this rollercoasters in me !
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:39 PM #28
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

Dear knothead, I grant you the copyrights of the textbooks on BPD go way back. But the information (ie) use of DBT strategies, skills & techniques, have stood the test of time!! Marsha Linehan's work on BPD is still used with much success today!
And help many of us BPD'ers! (Alleluia!!)

I Have a great life!
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:55 AM #29
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

BPD was offereed to me as an explanation and I was asked by my T if I felt it discribed me but I still have some reservation about it....


-------The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, ---this is me-----

mood swings, ----I'm told this was me and I remeber people reacting to me strangly but I really never saw the mood swings -----

the use and abuse of drugs, ----never touched them----

alcohol, ----rarely drink ----

or food ---dont over eat if anything I use to refuse to eat when I was younger----

as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, ----always have----

phobias, -----I sopose so as I have panic attack----

feelings of emptiness and loneliness, ----only when I'm around people I feel invisable ----

inability to tolerate being alone. -----I love being alone or at least I use to before the PTSD kicked in----

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; ----never been in a rage eva----

they were unusually impulsive, -----I dont think I'm impulsive in a negative way at least----

they fell in and out of love suddenly;----in a 15y realationship been together since we were 16y------

they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. -----I have rought friendship and I proberly do idealize them to a point but when I brack the friendship up it because of an illegal or immoral issues that i cant get over and I've only despieed one person in my life and I cant figure out why her excpet that there is too many negative things that she did to my partner and I and our kids that i just cant forgive her for. It never happened abruptly from my point of view cause I had been obsessing trying to ignore my obsession till i no longer could anymore but to the person it seem sudden cause I have never let on I was troublw dealing with things about the friendship------

A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.----never-----


Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety,----would explain why I cant function in the real world like opther people---

frustration,-----easily frustrated by the way the world works----

rejection ----i try to reject people before thay can reject me---

and loss that most people are able to put up with,----fue people can handle my personality and I dont understand why----

an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset,-----I agree on some level as I dont cope like other people do with the way the world works----

and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, ------I controled them very well for the most part but when I loose it with a person I let it all out nothing gets left in my head----

through action, ----never done any action to hurt people----

of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. -----I keep love and hate well controlled I just struggle to feel like I fit in and understand my feelings enough to express them in the right context---

What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person." ----I feel like this big time or at least I did before I was put on luvox I still some days get like this normally after a negative incounter with another person but as far as who I am in my home life I have never struggled just struggeled with how I fit in to big wide world out side my front door.----


The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. -------this is how people discribe me and react to me I never felt like the mood change was not warrented-----

Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times.----only about illegal and immoral issues-----

Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating------never eva felt like this eva and people have never reacted to me in way that would make me feel they thought this about me-----

with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, -----get called childish alot but that because I refuse to accept the world for what it is-----

suddenly quitting a job,------only had a fue jobs and yes this happened because I could not deal with the way i was feeling about the people I was working with I felt I had to remove my self to make them safe from me-----

withdrawing into isolation, ----YES to protect people from me I would get intence intrusive thoughts and images that made me feel like I was a danger to people----

failing. -----I fail at interacting with life out side my house----


Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. -----I think I have amazing self control to ignore 99 out 100 impulses in my head but to the out side world it was like I was impulsive cause I was an obsessive thinker----

A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, -----ALL the time----

only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, ---- I would not say ragefull but very full on approch when i finally reached my limit-----

or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, ----NEVER been submissive hated letting anyone have any sort of control over me----

out of the blue, in a tantrum.-------I was upset and angry but had good reason to be most of the time-----


Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing-----BIG TIME-----

for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine,----NO----
drugs,-----NO-------
alcohol,-----NO------
overeating,------NO-------
suicide.-------though about it once at 16y but the thought of still current boy friend stopped me------

Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered-------- YES but I have no given in as many time as it pops in to my head but I become very disresses when tyring to ignore it-------

by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child,------YES-----
siblings,
or spouse,----aparently but I never hurt his feeling the way I have with my family------

except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats ----never----
and attempts,-----NOT that they know of----

self-inflicted injuries,-----which my mum stuck her head in the sand about----

outbursts of rage and recrimination,------NOT rage anger and never physical ever-----

impulsive marriages,-----never-----
divorces, -------never------
pregnancies --------it could be said but I was ready for every one of my kids-----

and abortions; -----never------

repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers,------never but been too scared to try as when I get anxiety and panic of being judged i freack out and run------

and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.-----they dont want to try my partner has never had problem with being to comfort me with out pampering my every whim-------


I dont know do I have it or not cause think most of my friendship problems have been OCD related not BPD......
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Old 11-21-2009, 11:20 PM #30
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Default Re: Borderline PD symptoms description

I don't know if I should even answer your question... I'd hate to be wrong about this, you understand? but ya kinda sound a little borderline to me. I am as well, btw.
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