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Old 02-25-2019, 04:37 PM #1
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Default Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

I lost 90 pounds and I went from 236 to 146. I am 54 so I am pretty average now. I still feel self conscious though and I still feel like I look really big despite wearing sizes 4-8 in pants and sizes XS-M in shirts. My coworkers keep bringing up my insecurities without me bringing them up first. A former boss called me chub when I was 185 pounds. She also made some comment about how she and some of my other coworkers could eat whatever they want to and not gain weight At my current job one of my coworkers who is very skinny said to me now that youve lost the weight you have to work on getting smaller by toning. Her comment really bothered me. I dont have any loose skin or anything. So it just kind of made me think yeah, I still am pretty big if people are telling me that.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation and these thoughts Im having?
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Old 02-25-2019, 04:52 PM #2
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

Hey, Im so sorry you are experiencing that. What you are experiencing is without question harassment in the workplace. You can either ask them directly to stop commenting on your appearance, or you can go to your Human Resources department and file a complaint. You definitely do not have to put up with that tho!

Good job on the weight loss - Im 54 as well and Ive gone from 240 to 165. Im super thrilled with my resilts and and feel so much better!!
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Old 02-25-2019, 05:49 PM #3
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

Your weight is nobody's business (nor anything about your life.) Ignore rude comments;they do not deserve a response.
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Old 02-25-2019, 06:04 PM #4
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

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Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
Hey, Im so sorry you are experiencing that. What you are experiencing is without question harassment in the workplace. You can either ask them directly to stop commenting on your appearance, or you can go to your Human Resources department and file a complaint. You definitely do not have to put up with that tho!

Good job on the weight loss - Im 54 as well and Ive gone from 240 to 165. Im super thrilled with my resilts and and feel so much better!!
Congratulations on your weight loss! I am happy with my results too I just get annoyed sometimes with people who act like jerks.
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Old 02-26-2019, 06:24 AM #5
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Mountaindewed I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice on this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. I agree that they're pretty rude and inconsiderate. I'd suggest to just ask them to stop their comments as they really hurt you. If they continue, are theere any superiors or bosses that you can complain to? I believe it is your right to do so. I'm so sorry. It must be very hard for you. Try to ignore those comments as much as you can. It seems like you're trying your best to lose some weight. That's great! Be proud of yourself for that. Be proud of your accomplishments and remember that you're beautiful just the way you are, both on the inside and on the outside, no matter what other people say, although I understand those comments must be pretty hurtful to you. Try to ignore them as much as you can. You're a wonderful person. I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. Stay strong, mountaindewed. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Keep fighting! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 02-26-2019, 06:46 AM #6
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Default Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

Wow this made me really mad!!! You definitely have a valid HR complaint. Personally I have no faith in HR but that is another story... I would consider forming some sentences in my mind to say to these people so that next time it comes up you put a stop to it. You dont have to be blatantly direct and aggressive but you can make a few simple statements to get your point across. You have every right to tell them that your weight is none of their business... or anything else for that matter. Sometimes you might not need to say anything though. Personally I think some people enjoy making you upset and defensive and why give them the satisfaction? Recently somebody made a personal comment to me at work that crossed a line. I am currently trying to pick my battles versus fight every little thing... I went from being too meek to being a bit too bold at times... I have a hard time finding the middle ground.... so I said nothing and I just looked at her. I wanted an uncomfortable silence and she was definitely uncomfortable after I just looked at her and said nothing. Then I walked away and I have never left myself open to any type of personal interaction with this person again. I will always remain extremely professional and courteous to her but the door is shut for any friendly chit chat that would be remotely personal. Dont open yourself up to these idiot people at your work... and take the high road and be courteous and professional...but also be prepared to say something to make them back off when you need to. Surprise them. People are always caught off guard when quiet, nice people speak up. Please let us know how it goes. Best of luck to you! Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.
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Old 02-26-2019, 12:42 PM #7
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

I dont really trust HR either. At my last job my boss was really good friends with HR so I knew anything I said to HR about my boss would backfire on me. I really like my job and I do in general get along with my coworkers. Just this commenting on my appearance, good or bad is annoying me. I have just ignored this coworker before. One time she asked me why I wear my hair short and I asked her why would you ask that? And she got very uncomfortable. One time after this coworker commented about my speech I gave her a look and she backed off and apologized. But then this same coworker is sticking up for me in other situations. She usually just has normal conversations with me. I think she may have issues herself.
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Old 02-26-2019, 01:29 PM #8
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Default Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I dont really trust HR either. At my last job my boss was really good friends with HR so I knew anything I said to HR about my boss would backfire on me. I really like my job and I do in general get along with my coworkers. Just this commenting on my appearance, good or bad is annoying me. I have just ignored this coworker before. One time she asked me why I wear my hair short and I asked her why would you ask that? And she got very uncomfortable. One time after this coworker commented about my speech I gave her a look and she backed off and apologized. But then this same coworker is sticking up for me in other situations. She usually just has normal conversations with me. I think she may have issues herself.


Good job! So youve politely let them know theyre crossing a line. Then all you can do is ignore them. Its annoying for sure. I agree with you that this person has issues and probably bothers other people with I appropriate comments too.
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Old 03-02-2019, 11:35 AM #9
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

Mountaindewed, congratulations on your weight loss, keep up the good efforts. Your colleagues may be a bit awkward in making compliments, I wouldn't necessarily assume malevolence. If you feel better and like your thinner self you can happily ignore comments. Your co-workers may stop making them soon and on their own without involving HR, which I think is much preferable.

With regards to that particular co-worker I think you're doing good in confronting her directly. Take notes if she keeps bothering you and then address the issue with HR as a last resort.
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Old 03-02-2019, 11:39 AM #10
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Default Re: Coworkers keep pointing out stuff.

Congratulations on the weight loss! I know it's not easy, and it will be better for your health.

Sorry your coworkers are rude. I would try to ignore them if possible. Your appearance is none of their business.

I know what you mean about HR. My HR person is cold and stand-offish. I don't feel like I can talk to her about anything. She only talks to upper management and ignores the rest of us.
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