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Old 12-05-2018, 07:23 PM   #1
Mountaindewed
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If people actually point out the flaws you are worried about even if you have never pointed them out to them before?

I lost a lot of weight 3 years ago. I am continuing to lose weight. I am very self conscious about my butt. I feel like it’s very big and it sticks out. Some of my coworkers and my supervisor like to joke around and one specific coworker and this supervisor like to make fun of people behind their backs and say mean stuff. This coworker has been messing with me since the day I started. She just thinks she’s being funny. I usually just ignore her or play along.

But last week she asked me if I would give some of my butt to my supervisor (who is very skinny). She didn’t ask anyone else. her comment bothered me. I feel like my butt is really big and I feel like her comment just kind of proves my point.
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Old 12-05-2018, 07:25 PM   #2
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Default Re: Is it considered BDD

My butt is big, but I think big butts are in. Most guys I know seem to like big butts. I'd rather mine be big than flat. Maybe it would help to see it as an asset rather than a flaw? Just a thought.
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Old 12-05-2018, 09:43 PM   #3
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It’s just that the way my coworker and supervisor make fun of other people makes me feel like it really is deformed or something. These guys are brutal in the things they say.
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Would the parents of a soggy boy with cotton candy in his nose please come to the medical tent!

Rupaul: You can call me he, you can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathy Lee. I don’t care, as long as you call me.
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Old 12-06-2018, 04:49 AM   #4
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I'm so sorry you're struggling, Mountaindewed Those comments were really mean and uncalled for. I hope you can stay away from these people as much as possible while you're at work (although I understand it may not be that easy). I like the suggestion about seeing as an asset rather than a flaw. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 12-06-2018, 06:55 AM   #5
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When I was in college (long time ago) the guys gave me a nickname related to my butt that today would be highly socially inappropriate. I cannot even hint to it on this thread.


Now I look at pictures and frankly don't understand. I was a skinny but curvy girl. My butt did not look that big. I had what is known as t--- and a--. I had an hourglass shape.



I guess I didn't let it bother me because I had a lot of dates and boyfriends who admired my looks.



It could be this is just how they have decided to tease you and it is highly inappropriate, and crosses personal boundaries. (The guys actually might secretly like your body but are calling attention in a way they shows them up as total jerks.)



Have you said things around them that would indicate you don't like this part of your body? Please try to not to put down any part of your anatomy. Especially since you have lost weight.


If you lost weight you might have a bit of body dysmorphia. I hope you can embrace your whole body and love your new looks. Losing weight is such an accomplishment.


Nowadays ample butts are all the rage! You could create a sassy comeback like saying yours is the "real deal" not artificial, and you wouldn't think of giving away an ounce of it to anyone.


Or - you could go on a campaign to completely ignore their comments.


I think that's what I did. I think when you get thin it kind of accentuates curves. My girlfriends always said they wished they had my curves. Curves are traditionally very attractive.
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:27 PM   #6
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With some people, it doesn't matter whether you actually have a certain trait or not. They pounce on the fact that you *think* you have it, and feel insecure about it. So if you merely think you have a big butt, whether you do or don't, they're going to tease you about it because it's their way of keeping you "in your place." They're capitalizing on your insecurities, which is the textbook definition of bullying. In the end (no pun intended) it's really nobody else's business what your butt looks like.

I'm sorry your co-workers are doing this to you. It's inappropriate on the job. Given that it's remarks about your butt, it could even be getting into sexual harassment. Women can be guilty of that too.
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Old 12-07-2018, 09:44 PM   #7
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Yesterday I found out they nicknamed another coworker Fat Butt Matt. I bought a pair of skinny jeans today and I’m really excited to wear them. If my coworker makes a remark about them, I’m going to call her out on it. I won’t be rude. I’ll probably just say something like “why would you say that?” She has made other remarks about my appearance including my hair and my clothes. Also I accidentally told her I had a Facebook and now I’m friends with her and in one picture she had a Snapchat picture of herself wearing the same glasses as me. I wear these big framed glasses. They are kinda too big for my face. But I really like how they look on me. I felt like she was kind of mocking me. Especially since a former coworker who bullied me at work liked the picture.

I like who I am though. I am comfortable with who I am, and how I dress. I don’t like some of my physical traits, but I still have 14 pounds to lose before I get to get my goal weight.
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You ride em up, and up, and up, then you gently float down.

Would the parents of a soggy boy with cotton candy in his nose please come to the medical tent!

Rupaul: You can call me he, you can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathy Lee. I don’t care, as long as you call me.
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Old 12-08-2018, 03:03 PM   #8
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Today this coworker asked me why my hair is short and if it was ever long. She has asked me this question before. I answered her questions and then when she got back I asked her why she had asked me why I wear my hair short. She started stuttering and I could tell she was uncomfortable by my question. It took her awhile to say something, but she finally said “well, not too many white girls wear their hair short.” I have no idea what that means, it doesn’t even make sense. But I’m glad that my question worked like it should have.

I heard on The Today Show and many other places and forums and from my mom, that when people ask werid questions or nosy questions ask “why would you ask that?” Or why are you asking?” And just watch them get uncomfortable.
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You ride em up, and up, and up, then you gently float down.

Would the parents of a soggy boy with cotton candy in his nose please come to the medical tent!

Rupaul: You can call me he, you can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathy Lee. I don’t care, as long as you call me.
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Old 12-13-2018, 11:10 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Today this coworker asked me why my hair is short and if it was ever long. She has asked me this question before. I answered her questions and then when she got back I asked her why she had asked me why I wear my hair short. She started stuttering and I could tell she was uncomfortable by my question. It took her awhile to say something, but she finally said “well, not too many white girls wear their hair short.” I have no idea what that means, it doesn’t even make sense. But I’m glad that my question worked like it should have.

I heard on The Today Show and many other places and forums and from my mom, that when people ask werid questions or nosy questions ask “why would you ask that?” Or why are you asking?” And just watch them get uncomfortable.
Thanks and I want to use this phrase also, “why would you ask that?”
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