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Unread 12-31-2016, 01:33 PM   #1
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Default I think I have BDD but is this a symptomm

I don't think I really know exactly what I look like. I see many different facets of my face so I don't really have one image. It's hard to explain. I also grew up feeling like I look different in different mirrors, but now I know that is just an illusion or my mind playing a trick. I also realize what I see in the mirror isn't exactly what others see and what I see in pics isn't what I see in the mirror, or exactly what others see, although it may be a better perspective of my face...
I think I have BDD not because I believe I'm ugly but I feel others believe I'm ugly or weird or defective in some way. I believe I got this idea from my family and from schoolmates growing up. I was always made to feel I didn't meet up to standard and to was ignored a lot.
Also I grew up with a sister who was complimented a lot, for her looks alone. People would say this with a smile and then want to talk to her more, to get to know her. People would automatically acknowledge her and ignore me.
I began to draw away from people in her presence and feel inferior. I know she picked up on this but didn't understand it and took it personally, I believe. I love her and we have a good relationship but it is something that came between us because I hardly wanted to be around her because of those things...I have some examples but won't go into them unless I have to. just trust me on this one.
I feel like appearance is so huge in our society and people are ignored solely upon not being pretty enough...i'm not complaining because life is hard and we all have a cross to bear.. well this is mine.
I have a feeling I will always be insecure and I wish I could at least get self- esteem somehow. I still am finding what I\'m useful at besides looks. I have many interests and I work on being an understanding and compassionate person, so I have some pluses outside of my looks.
Still painful to be overlooked and I'm kind of obsessed with being beautiful. Any helpful suggestions?
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Unread 01-01-2017, 05:58 PM   #2
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Smile Re: I think I have BDD but is this a symptomm

Hello Angel_Davis: I'm sorry I probably don't have any very useful suggestions to offer you here. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. I don't know if you see a therapist. But if not talking all of this over with one, over a period of time, might help you to develop some additional insight with regard to why you feel the way you do & what you can do to resolve your beauty obsession. At least that is what occurs to me. I wish you well...
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Unread 04-13-2017, 07:23 AM   #3
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Default Re: I think I have BDD but is this a symptomm

Hi Angel
I completely get what you're saying! I have twin teen daughters (not identical) one of them was always got more attention when they were younger, and I can see the effects of that on the other.
I'm glad you are focused on the great qualities you have, because I believe where we place our attention is where things become reality.
If we practice loving kindness with ourselves, I think we will be less concerned with outward treatment. I know it's not easy. It starts with a conscience effort, and grows.
Xo
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