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Unread 12-19-2016, 03:42 AM   #1
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Default how do you handle compliments?

have you ever had someone come up to you and comment on how beautiful/ nice you look?

how do you take it?

i've had people come up to me in the past and say, "you're really hansome" (by the way I hate that word, too!)

my response is usually something like.. oh what is it you like?. is it the long disorganized hair, the nails not fit for a beauty spa or the ugly face

I just find it sooo difficult to even think I might remotely look a bit interesting, and actually those people might be right- and I do look okay
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Unread 12-19-2016, 06:42 PM   #2
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

i have learned to just say thank you, smile, and move on.
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Unread 12-20-2016, 05:08 AM   #3
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starry_Night View Post
i have learned to just say thank you, smile, and move on.


I probably should learn to do that too.

just so hard
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Unread 12-20-2016, 05:41 AM   #4
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

I deflect it by saying something like "thank you, that's so kind of you to say". Most people are happy with the return compliment but the ones who know me well enough to get that I'm deflecting aren't amused.
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Unread 12-22-2016, 05:38 AM   #5
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

I am surprised at how quiet this thread is.

the BDD section is dead
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Unread 12-22-2016, 07:05 AM   #6
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

I say thank you.
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Unread 12-22-2016, 03:32 PM   #7
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
have you ever had someone come up to you and comment on how beautiful/ nice you look?

how do you take it?

i've had people come up to me in the past and say, "you're really hansome" (by the way I hate that word, too!)

my response is usually something like.. oh what is it you like?. is it the long disorganized hair, the nails not fit for a beauty spa or the ugly face

I just find it sooo difficult to even think I might remotely look a bit interesting, and actually those people might be right- and I do look okay
Well, I'd be willing to bet that you DO actually look ok, shattered! People don't randomly say something nice like that for no reason. As long as it's not something like, "Hey, I like your hair. Btw, give me your money.", it's all good.

We've got to trust/understand that not everyone finds the same things attractive. In fact, there are so many examples of this that I hesitate to start listing the permutations for fear of writing WAY, WAY too much! (But I can if you want! )

Please don't think in terms of defensive sarcasm (oh, what is it you like, the ... <insert negative self-perceptions list here>). Even if you don't like something, allow someone their positive perception(!) (They are entitled to that, you know! )

Different strokes for different folks and all that. It's totally true.

Do I have it all together in this arena? NO!! Far from it! If I could let go of my insecurity in my own demon zones, I'd have a f****** lot less pain. We all would. It's not easy, that's for sure. But to do that, we have to let go of our negative perceptions and begin to accept the diversity of reality --that even if we don't like something, someone else can -- and they might even say so! With... <drumroll>... a compliment!

So, yeah, just say thank you.

It's a start. Allow them their own opinion. "Even" (especially!) if it's <gasp!> positive!

As to the question of how I (actually) handle them? Not so great. I try to just accept it and say, "thanks", but I'm usually embarrassed and often minimize or deflect. Working on it.
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Unread 12-22-2016, 05:45 PM   #8
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

I usually say thank you, even if I don't believe it.
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Unread 12-23-2016, 09:12 AM   #9
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

cringe, change the subject, let out an uncomfortable laugh, return the compliment...lol...I have never learned to say thank you and smile....that is something I have been told to do over and over...but its so hard...
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Unread 12-31-2016, 12:36 PM   #10
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Default Re: how do you handle compliments?

I feel anxious right away. But I say thank you because I read somewhere that's how you should respond. But theres complete axiety after being around that person, like all of a sudden theyre going to see something wrong and take it back or something?? not sure..I'm sure if I looked into past experiences I could find out why I have this anxiety....of course it makes me extremely happy its like the best thing you can say to me is to say I am beautiful or anything like that
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