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Old 11-08-2016, 02:57 PM   #1
Shawn447
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Default I wish I looked different than I do

If I could change the way I look, I'd do it in a heart beat. Ever since I was young, people called me ugly. I got bullied and teased a lot in school by people who'd constantly call me ugly and laugh at me. My self-esteem has never recovered. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror to be honest. I hate that I had no control over how I'd look and how it has caused me a lot of pain over the years. I try take good care of myself when it comes to hygiene but there's nothing you can really do when you're born ugly. I would love to get some sort of surgery but that will never happen due to the fact that I don't have enough money to get that sort of thing done. When I go out, girls never check me out or look at me. There's no point in telling me that it's only the inside that counts because none of that matters when you're ugly on the outside. I'd rather have a beautiful face and an ugly personality than an ugly face with a good personality any day. I just wish I could experience what it's like to be handsome one day. I would do anything to have that opportunity. I hate being an ugly person, it has no positives and it brings nothing but misery.
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Old 11-08-2016, 03:47 PM   #2
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Old 11-10-2016, 02:30 AM   #3
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Default Re: I wish I looked different than I do

(((Hugs)))

I wish you didn't feel this way about yourself and I do believe it's what's on the inside that counts but I do know the pressures to be attractive in this society and I can remember staying up late into the evening staring at the ceiling and wishing I could change things about myself. Like if I wish hard enough, I'd suddenly wake up with more slender legs, a smaller nose, straighter hair. I hope you can find ways to build your self esteem. This may sound cliche but it's the true....nothing is more attractive than confidence. But at the same time, it's attractive to be humble and you have that so just try to love yourself as you are. Keep posting if it helps....I wish I had a magic cure for you but feel that a self esteem workbook could help. (((Hugs)))
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Old 11-10-2016, 05:31 PM   #4
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Default Re: I wish I looked different than I do

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Originally Posted by ElsaMars View Post
This may sound cliche but it's the true....nothing is more attractive than confidence. But at the same time, it's attractive to be humble and you have that so just try to love yourself as you are. Keep posting if it helps....I wish I had a magic cure for you but feel that a self esteem workbook could help. (((Hugs)))
I appreciate the advice. It's hard to be confident though when all your life you've been told that you're stupid, ugly and inferior. Sometimes I wish I could've just been born a different person.
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Old 11-11-2016, 12:33 AM   #5
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Default Re: I wish I looked different than I do

Shawn,

I am a 45 year old woman and I am past the stage when handsome is what I look for. I love Quasimodos and love the zest for life and other personality features, but it has come to me with time; my first husband when I was 21 was indeed super handsome, but now I would not get interested in his type. Your writing speaks volumes of your internal pain - I wish I could hug you tight. Please note that young people form cliques and marginalize those who do not belong, which is what seems to be happening to you. When you start interacting with people of all ages, and interacting one-on-one rather than in groups, things will improve drastically for you. Please note also that your mood, the sparkle in your eyes, your posture make a very good impression regardless of the features. Fighting depression if it plagues you and getting regular exercise to improve the posture will go a long way towards presenting yourself better.
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Old 11-12-2016, 01:08 AM   #6
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Shawn,

I am a 45 year old woman and I am past the stage when handsome is what I look for. I love Quasimodos and love the zest for life and other personality features, but it has come to me with time; my first husband when I was 21 was indeed super handsome, but now I would not get interested in his type. Your writing speaks volumes of your internal pain - I wish I could hug you tight. Please note that young people form cliques and marginalize those who do not belong, which is what seems to be happening to you. When you start interacting with people of all ages, and interacting one-on-one rather than in groups, things will improve drastically for you. Please note also that your mood, the sparkle in your eyes, your posture make a very good impression regardless of the features. Fighting depression if it plagues you and getting regular exercise to improve the posture will go a long way towards presenting yourself better.
I appreciate the advice. I already do exercise and I dress myself very well and I have good hygiene, but nothing works to improve my confidence. I feel ugly most of the time. When I go out, I get ignored by women completely. I hate going through life like this. No matter how much I try to tell myself that I'm not, deep down I know that I'm ugly and short of surgery, there's nothing I can do about it. I honestly hate being like this and I'd do anything to be considered attractive or beautiful. There are absolutely no positives to being an ugly person and being an attractive person has nothing but benefits.
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Old 11-13-2016, 12:33 PM   #7
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Look at Alred Hitchcock....he was rich, famous, respected and had tremendous power in Hollywood but he would have traded it all in for more conventionally good looks and appeal to the women he was attracted to. On the Flip side, there are many negatives to being attractive also. I don't think hearing about them would be helpful to you nor would you likely feel any better or even understand the cons which good looks can bring....but they do have them. With that said, there are definately perks to those who win the genetic lottery on good looks. Confidence can be really appealing and can make us feel better about ourselves. We must try and focus on the positives but when you have BDD, that is not an easy task. (((Hugs)))
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Old 11-13-2016, 01:20 PM   #8
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Default Re: I wish I looked different than I do

Shawn
I'm over 50 with 5 grown/almost grown kids, and social media really gets me mad. These teens are constantly comparing themselves to super models, kardashian's and touched up photography. It's pretty hard to have a high self esteem these days with societies definition of beauty being so far out there.
That being said, I want you to know that you must use more kind and loving self talk if you want to feel better about yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else says to you. The whole world can agree that you're handsome and if you're believing yourself to be ugly, there will be no changing your mind.
It all starts with you. Try to love yourself as you would love a friend. Be kind to yourself. One day you make look in the mirror and begin to like what you see. Until that time, start treating yourself better.
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Old 11-13-2016, 10:59 PM   #9
Shawn447
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Default Re: I wish I looked different than I do

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElsaMars View Post
Look at Alred Hitchcock....he was rich, famous, respected and had tremendous power in Hollywood but he would have traded it all in for more conventionally good looks and appeal to the women he was attracted to. On the Flip side, there are many negatives to being attractive also. I don't think hearing about them would be helpful to you nor would you likely feel any better or even understand the cons which good looks can bring....but they do have them. With that said, there are definately perks to those who win the genetic lottery on good looks. Confidence can be really appealing and can make us feel better about ourselves. We must try and focus on the positives but when you have BDD, that is not an easy task. (((Hugs)))
There may be some negatives to being attractive but the positives are infinitely better than the negatives. If you're an attractive person, you'll likely never have to experience certain hardships than an unattractive person experiences. I try to focus on the positives but it's hard. The worst part is that my mom and dad are pretty good looking people so I don't understand why I had to be ugly.
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Old 11-13-2016, 11:01 PM   #10
Shawn447
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Default Re: I wish I looked different than I do

Quote:
Originally Posted by sans View Post
Shawn
I'm over 50 with 5 grown/almost grown kids, and social media really gets me mad. These teens are constantly comparing themselves to super models, kardashian's and touched up photography. It's pretty hard to have a high self esteem these days with societies definition of beauty being so far out there.
That being said, I want you to know that you must use more kind and loving self talk if you want to feel better about yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else says to you. The whole world can agree that you're handsome and if you're believing yourself to be ugly, there will be no changing your mind.
It all starts with you. Try to love yourself as you would love a friend. Be kind to yourself. One day you make look in the mirror and begin to like what you see. Until that time, start treating yourself better.
I try to build confidence but nothing works. I've played sports before but I was bad at all the sports I tried. I go out by myself and travel and it may bring temporarily happiness but it doesn't last. I'm starting to be convinced that I'll never be truly happy and confident with the way I am. When I look in the mirror, I get reminded of all the times I got laughed at and called ugly. I think cosmetic surgery may be my only hope at this point. I'm 19 now, so if I save up enough money, I may be able to afford it in a few years.
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