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Old 03-18-2019, 10:25 PM #1
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Default Sense of self

Anyone else struggle with the idea of sense of self? I mean I am who I am, but who am I? -- kind of a circular logic, but it makes a point. Are we the sum of the components that make us up or is there something more? You can define yourself based on your occupation, your interests, your family... in the south in a small town it's more common to say " I'm so and so's son/daughter" than it is to even use your own name. But who are you, really? there is a intimacy with that question I really love and hate at the same time...


you see -- I don't ever like the question of "who are you?" when asked in the sense of tell me about you. I don't know how to answer it. I don't know where to even begin. What is pertinent and what isn't. I know I am more than the pieces of my life (I'm a teacher, I'm a lover of language, I am a human male...) but I don't know how to bring those pieces together in a collective whole that ever sounds complete. I hope I'm making some sense here. I mean there are aspects of myself I'm finding I never thought I would. I'm doing, seeing, acting in ways I never thought possible... it's almost redefining me every moment , if I accept that idea of sense of self.



Anyone else ever really delved into the idea of who we are?
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Old 03-18-2019, 10:37 PM #2
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Default Re: Sense of self

I am like many people, I am like many other things like animals but there is only one me . I am unique in all of the universe. Find that one thing that is like everything but is different than everything else and you have found you. I believe my soul is me and I am eternal. Maybe Iím wrong but try and prove it lol we are all creations of our loving Heavenly Father. I guess thatís one way to define yourself lol
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:17 PM #3
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Red face Re: Sense of self

read the power of NOW.

Lots of free thinkers, searching for the truth.
hubby has been reading about non dualism...way over my head.
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Old 03-19-2019, 12:19 AM #4
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Default Re: Sense of self

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brentus View Post
Anyone else struggle with the idea of sense of self? I mean I am who I am, but who am I? -- kind of a circular logic, but it makes a point. Are we the sum of the components that make us up or is there something more? You can define yourself based on your occupation, your interests, your family... in the south in a small town it's more common to say " I'm so and so's son/daughter" than it is to even use your own name. But who are you, really? there is a intimacy with that question I really love and hate at the same time...


you see -- I don't ever like the question of "who are you?" when asked in the sense of tell me about you. I don't know how to answer it. I don't know where to even begin. What is pertinent and what isn't. I know I am more than the pieces of my life (I'm a teacher, I'm a lover of language, I am a human male...) but I don't know how to bring those pieces together in a collective whole that ever sounds complete. I hope I'm making some sense here. I mean there are aspects of myself I'm finding I never thought I would. I'm doing, seeing, acting in ways I never thought possible... it's almost redefining me every moment , if I accept that idea of sense of self.



Anyone else ever really delved into the idea of who we are?
Yes and its quite common, at least for me. It's not that i dont have an identity or know who I am but more that I want to blend in and be part of my surroundings. I lived in LA and fit right in but I did things totally different that when I move to the midwest. I've always wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. I learned to fake it, but there was times I couldn't but I'd play it off I was sick and wasn't feeling good. Most people are irritated anyways when not feeling well so it was a perfect cover. I took out my rage against bullies and jerks. I stood up for those that couldn't because I know what it is to be different but I could hide it by lifting weights, playing every sport, learned to play 7 instruments. I played it off that I'm an extremely competitive person and I wanted to be the best. People don't understand people can be bipolar and they'll think damn that's one competitive dude. Everyone want to be my friend and voted me as class president then student council. I got to play a solo at a high time marching band at a USC and UCLA which for those that don't know its 2 rival universities in LA, California.

I ended up finding that I'm good at managing and not only good but I'm now an executive where I work and I'm over several different departments. I'm happy at work or more like a sense of gratification.

I know who I am but because of society I keep who I really am from everyone that knows and respects me. Everyone views the ones that cant control themselves and blows up at everyone or super depressed all the time and that's how 100% of bipolar people are. I'm 38 and only met a few like me and i can count them using just 1 hand. But even those arent exactly like me. We are individuals with our own personalities with same traits.

I enjoy pushing myself to the limits and then some. I tackle the most challenging tasks I can find. Simple tasks bore me and I'll assign that to the administrative assistant. I'm always looking for multiple hobbies to do. I love multitasking and being manic is almost 2nd nature.

The more you learn the more you change and get into new and interesting things. Just be careful that you'll learn more than your surroundings can let you. I became super depressed when I lived in the midwest. I couldn't find anything challenging and that would fill that void. I felt an emptiness and I was just wasting my life.

Everyone that I met had basically the same why that felt about things. And everyone has lost it completely as least once or more. I was taken in when I was younger a few times. I was at war with myself for many years now I'm only at war with myself when I start going to far into my mania. If I let it I cant control myself and it's like it takes control and I'm seeing my life as a dream almost.

Since I'm alway on the go and didnt want people to think I'm coked out. Had standup desks for everyone. They could sit all the time if they wantrd but I gave them the option to stand too. It worked and I'd go to different departments and they would stand and talk to me with they desks raised so I could see what the issue was that I needed to look into. I'd have situations where I would need to make quick decisions. I'm alway manic and if I dont keep it in check it'll take control. Having my job and what I do helps a lot. I'm able to release who I am in a positive, successful, and increasing revenue by promoting a productive workforce. Life to me is like chess, I want to win by creative and complex moves to win. I love to win.

[Hook: T-Pain]
All I do is win, win, win no matter what (What)
Got money on my mind, I can never get enough ('Nough)
And every time I step up in the building
Everybody hands go up
And they stay there (There), and they say yeah (Yeah)
And they stay there, up, down, up, down, up, down
'Cause all I do is win (Win), win (Win), win
And if you going in put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there
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Old 03-19-2019, 04:50 PM #5
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Default Re: Sense of self

Most of my life I have had a pretty good idea of my sense of self. Only when I was extremely sick with bipolar disorder did "me" seem a bit lost, jumbled, and seemingly trapped.

I feel I am a myriad of feelings, sensations, and experiences more than a physical being. That I am part of and separate from the world around me. I have mostly been present, but not locked into a body or a place. I feel I can travel and become one with things like music or sounds, nature, love, pain, ecstasy, struggle, scents, longing, frustration, light, colors, contentment, temperatures, etc. Life, to me, is like a dance or flight which takes me to new places (of all sorts), and though it seemingly repeats some steps/routes, it is never really done in the exact same way.

I love information and absorbing/processing it, and playing with it to do new things, go new places, and to take me where it will. I've always believed that art and math and science are very much alike in many ways, and we all live all of these things. It is sort of a religion to me. That's how I see life.
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Old 03-19-2019, 05:35 PM #6
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Default Re: Sense of self

Lately I have felt like this, but I think it is partly because of how unwell I was for the past year. That and the obsessive thoughts I have had convinced me I was practically a monster, and made me question everything about myself. Pretty much think I have been seriously overanalyzing who I am instead of living my life. I am working on being present in the moment and living by my values, checking in with my feelings, making time for my interests, that sort of thing. I am kind of reconnecting with myself by doing this.
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Old 03-19-2019, 07:52 PM #7
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Default Re: Sense of self

Iím still trying to somehow figure ď me outĒ

Work in progress
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Old 03-19-2019, 08:35 PM #8
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there is no me ... I work .. I eat and I sleep ... that is all there is .... I am what was coined a "non person" ...
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Old 03-20-2019, 01:34 AM #9
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Default Re: Sense of self

It is the ultimate philosophical question that few find an answer to. I find myself shifting between different versions of 'me'. I try to find the centre, and occasionally have moments of revelation as to who I really am, but mostly I feel kinda close but so very lost at the same time.
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Old 03-20-2019, 06:05 AM #10
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Default Re: Sense of self

I think who you think you are can change over time. I know that who I think I am has changed as I have gotten older and sober. Now I view who I am through the qualities I value the most, not by my interests or accomplishments or failures. I am kind and honest. I try to do my best by my fellow human. I am flawed but I apologize when I have done wrong. I try to see all points of view. I value the human experience. I believe there is always hope and no one is a "lost cause" and unworthy.
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