Bipolar Check-In Thread #33 - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 03-11-2019, 07:41 PM #11
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Hi everyone. My anxiety has reached such as a high level that I haven't felt this way for over a year. I am leaving my job and gave my two weeks notice. The work environment is completely toxic and unhealthy and a lot of people are leaving. It is my time to go. I will miss my good friend from there though.
There is another job opportunity where I know someone who works there, but all the red tape to get the job is overwhelming. One past job did not end on good terms. The person made false allegations against me, and I should have took them to court, and HR from this new job requested information from them. So that was a major trigger and brought me back to dark times.

Everything feels like a chore, I had a meltdown in front of my mother, who just doesn't know how to be supportive of me, because I am rapid cycling and the anxiety is so high, I see a mixed state coming. She said I probably shouldn't be working and that I belong in the hospital, unless I "get a grip." Everything is just too much.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:17 PM #12
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

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Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
Tara, glad you're getting some decent medical attention. I hope it all goes well!


I had a better day today. It was healthier. I did a ton of housework. I ate healthier. I did not lay around. I enjoyed being more active. Now i'm listening to a beautiful two-hour compilation of contemporary instrumental music on YouTube.


It's my third day on Wellbutrin. I feel cautious hope that it's working.
I so confused since my name is also Tara; would you be so kind to clarify who you are talking about; lol. I don't know if another person is named Tara on this forum and you are talking to them; or me and just using my real name.

I'm glad you had a good day; I always feel super productive after house work.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:21 PM #13
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

It's been a week since my father died. My brother and I went to his house. It was indescribable. Trash was 2-3 feet deep throughout. No water, electric or plumbing. Evidence of animals being in the house. Just mind-blowing that he lived like that and refused to leave when offered nicer conditions. We did find a paper telling us what he wanted done when he died and that was good and what we'd hoped for but didn't expect.

I'm just tired. I've been freezing cold for days from the stress. I am spending all my time in fleece and under piles of blankets and still cold.

I think he'll be cremated this week.

I've not cried yet. His life was really sad for a long time and there's a lot to come to terms with. It will take time.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:22 PM #14
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

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Originally Posted by TheSeaCat View Post


I so confused since my name is also Tara; would you be so kind to clarify who you are talking about; lol. I don't know if another person is named Tara on this forum and you are talking to them; or me and just using my real name.

I'm glad you had a good day; I always feel super productive after house work.

Whoops! A mix-up! WildFlowerChild25 is also named Tara. I'll use screennames from now on to prevent more confusion.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:27 PM #15
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

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Whoops! A mix-up! WildFlowerChild25 is also named Tara. I'll use screennames from now on to prevent more confusion.
That is totally fine; I guess I didn't realize I shared the same name with another username. That is kind of awesome honestly; it's even spelled the same way. Thank you for explaining that to me; I figured you were probably not talking about me; but I just wanted to check. I'm sorry I'm usually pretty good about figuring out things; but honestly today my brain might as well just be mush.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:38 PM #16
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Hey, fellow Tara! Nice to know there’s two of us lol.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:43 PM #17
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

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Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post
Thanks, Lavender!

I just got back from my annual exam at my GP's office. He's always a nice guy! My blood test results were as expected. I still have high cholesterol and my triglycerides and glucose were slightly high, too. Last time my triglycerides and glucose were normal. I need to cut down on those refined sugars again! I asked him about a statin, and he explained why I don't need one at this point. He even ran some special calculation to show me my risk for a heart attack. It was 1.3%. He said my age (not that old), my normal blood pressure, lack of diabetes, the fact that I never smoked, and other factors make my risk low, despite my cholesterol. OK. Of course he did push me to diet and exercise more, as always. He's a really thin guy. I told him that I doubt he ever eats a donut. He said he doesn't. I've been going to him for 22 years. We were both youngsters way back then.

It's rather warm today at 51 F.
Glad you you had a good doctor's appointment sorry about the cholesterol and triglycerides; I finally got a good reading when my Cardio checked mine and it was a lot different then my previous numbers from the tests my previous job needed. I know diet and exercise is hard but really I have found cutting out daily morning stops at Starbucks and cutting out soda and just drinking water; flavored sparking water; and tea (green and white) that that made a big difference and just trying to eat a little better. Just simple little changes made a big difference for me.

I really hope I am able to have the same GP for 22 years. I am glad that you are doing okay minus some high numbers. Good on you for good blood pressure; even mine is sometimes elevated.
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:53 PM #18
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

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Hey, fellow Tara! Nice to know there’s two of us lol.
It is nice to know there are two of us; we even spell it the same way. I haven't met a lot of Tara's that spell it this way. Do mispronunciation's bug you like the bug me?

I am glad that you are getting seen by a doctor soon; I know you are probably in a terrible amount of pain. M is dealing with something similar and he is honestly in constant pain; it hurts me to see him that way; so I know you are probably hurting. I hope you and RS are doing well; you really deserve all the happiness.

I am sending you a very gentle hug

I also hope your work is able to work with you; you can't exactly help a back injury.
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Old 03-11-2019, 09:03 PM #19
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Hello everyone and look another freaking Monday; I swear I hate Monday's not to mention Daylight Savings Time is still kicking my butt; I thought yesterday was bad; today just freaking hurts. I didn't feel like dressing up so it was very much a scrub day, my brain and body fought with me this morning; so scrubs it was; my brain was let people complain because honestly I didn't care this morning between my shear exhaustion and the clocks going forward it was not a good morning at all.

Work downright sucked today; between my honestly exhausted feeling and making what felt like 1,000 phone calls trying to find a specialist for M on the list; and I swear I knew that was going to suck but this was like an extra layer of suck; we finally found one but of course they aren't in our city and it's going to be a drive; go freaking figure that since nothing seems to work out; not to mention it's going to be next week before he could get in.

I am just so tired; so very tired with work; school; and the people I love health drama or my own health drama. I love him and am obviously going to be there for him; after all I am still staying at his place.

I feel okay mentally; my meds are keeping me in check but for some reason; I feel like I need to get a break and just relax and chill but sadly I feel like I will not be getting a break because I feel like if M needs surgery; I should really be saving my days off to make sure he is alright.

Hugs to everyone
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Last edited by TheSeaCat; 03-11-2019 at 10:30 PM.
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Old 03-11-2019, 09:38 PM #20
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #33

Another update since im bored and alone and not allowed on chat.

H came home and told me he didnt like my whiskey breath and left to get beer once the kids were in bed. Ifeel even worse now

This is getting unbearable so fast
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