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Old 01-23-2019, 05:01 AM   #871
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Update: Spoke with my T today. He seems worried I am delusional. I think. Iím confused as I thought my mind was clearing up. He did say it seems to be easing as I was able to be open with him that he and the medical professionals are conspiring against me. Iím so confused. I have opposing thoughts at the same time. Also, I thought I was stablebut apparently I am hypomanic. It sorta makes sense. I almost drove drunk to have sex but was stopped. My mind runs tangentially, but to me this seems stable compared to where Iíve been. Iím really happy. Just confused. If I could stop overthinking I would just let this crap go and get on with my life.
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Old 01-23-2019, 07:34 AM   #872
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Wouldnít you know, karma came for me just like I said it would. My son is sick today and I have to stay home lol. Missing yet another day of work. Hope I wonít get in trouble. Iím gonna get a note from his dr today so I can prove thatís where I was.
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Old 01-23-2019, 11:54 AM   #873
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My agoraphobia is getting out of control. I had to cancel a GP appointment because I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. I can leave with some one else just not by myself weird huh?
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Old 01-23-2019, 12:28 PM   #874
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My agoraphobia is getting out of control. I had to cancel a GP appointment because I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. I can leave with some one else just not by myself weird huh?
That's not weird, Guiness. I went through a period of agoraphobia and found it a bit easier to go out with my husband than by myself. Though even with my husband I sometimes had to leave places, or at least sit in the car waiting for him (i.e. at a grocery store).

My agoraphobia did eventually pass. CBT therapy helped and/or just something seemed to change that made a difference. I hope your agoraphobia eases soon, too.

I'm still in a low mood, and this morning also have a headache. The triggers for this have been fairly small, though. I think my monthly period is mostly to blame. I'm hoping that when that passes my mood will improve.
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Old 01-23-2019, 02:19 PM   #875
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I'm now drinking cola instead of mtn dew because I can get 3 2-litters instead of 1 mtn dew. I figure that I can slowly work my way to water because I hate cola. I don't have the tar like black painful mess in my lungs anymore but I still feel like I can't catch my breath. I'm seeing things move out of the corner of my eyes.
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Old 01-23-2019, 03:12 PM   #876
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Got two nights good sleep then last night was back to weird dreams and waking up every few hours. But it's a nice day. Sunny and the new snow is very white and sparklyness itself, makes the day ok. Was able to go out today and get my chai. Swung by the library and picked up a bunch of books for mum. She gets paranoid about leaving the house during winter time, so positive she's gonna get pneumonia. So I do the best I can pick up stuff she likes. For the most part I do alright. Her doctor said no more sweet stuff so I stopped buying the sweetbreads and cookies so now she's in the kitchen baking lemon coconut cookies cause there's nothing to eat!
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Old 01-23-2019, 06:55 PM   #877
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Morning update. Been thinking more about my T appointment yesterday. There was a lot I didnít tell him for fear of hospitalisation, and that he is in on the conspiracy to med me for life even though it doesnít help me at all. The whole psychiatric this seems like a big sham. At least for me. I want off my meds and to use the power of my mind to heal this imbalance. So fed up. If I donít recover this year I WILL die. Iím sure of that.
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Old 01-23-2019, 07:08 PM   #878
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Morning update. Been thinking more about my T appointment yesterday. There was a lot I didnít tell him for fear of hospitalisation, and that he is in on the conspiracy to med me for life even though it doesnít help me at all. The whole psychiatric this seems like a big sham. At least for me. I want off my meds and to use the power of my mind to heal this imbalance. So fed up. If I donít recover this year I WILL die. Iím sure of that.

When we go off our meds even if we feel they are not working. It generally doesn't end well for us. Being honest with T's and Pdoc's is the only chance we have to get better. It's the only way that we can find the right med combo and to get things off of our chests. Just my two cents.
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Old 01-23-2019, 07:08 PM   #879
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See pdoc tomorrow morning. First in person appointment with him since Nov. I have had 3 phone appointments, and then he has to see you in person again. A bit anxious as I am afraid I might be a little hypomanic, and I cannot go on more Seroquel.
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Old 01-23-2019, 07:14 PM   #880
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When we go off our meds even if we feel they are not working. It generally doesn't end well for us. Being honest with T's and Pdoc's is the only chance we have to get better. It's the only way that we can find the right med combo and to get things off of our chests. Just my two cents.
Going on my last post it seems I was kind of honest but his silence scared me. Like he knows Iím onto him. I donít know what to do. I urgently must find something that works. My life is in danger.
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