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Old 04-15-2018, 12:24 PM   #11
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Default Re: Manic vs Psychotic

I love this thread because I can relate so well to it.

My gauge for whether it's "mania or me" is anger. If I'm in ecstasy about the magnificence of life I think that's wonderful. Whether it's mania or me, or both...doesn't really matter.

If, however, I find myself becoming edgy, irritable, anti-social, angry, enraged...that's a red flag for me. Being in that state is heading toward a mania that is dysphoric and out of my control.
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Old 04-18-2018, 02:32 AM   #12
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Default Re: Manic vs Psychotic

When I go very manic, I get a sensation that makes me say "Now I can be the real me. I've been repressed by unfavourable circumstances, and now I can leave them behind. I've waited years for this. I grew up in a cupboard and now I am in a rainforest - and if those around me don't understand why I will do whatever it takes to breathe the air, it is none of my concern. I am awake."

If this is all delusion, it is the most powerful delusion I ever had to contend with. When I'm having an episode and believing I can influence people and will soon become an entrepreneur, I am completely faithful to it - but even months and years after an episode ended badly, I'm still seduced by a dream that one day perhaps, when I am a little older and wiser, I can slip into that heightened state and not mess up.

It's a breathtaking possibility... or a dangerous dream...

Last edited by StayRelentless; 04-18-2018 at 04:26 AM..
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