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Old 06-17-2017, 03:16 PM   #1
Miguel'smom
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Default Loneliness/neediness met with withdrawn

I've withdrawn. If I'm not sleeping, I'm eating and if I'm not eating, I'm cooking. In the unlikely event that I'm not doing those things I'm absorbed into the computer headphones and all. T says I'm depressed fine, I'm depressed. However my husband is depressed too. He refuses to take him meds but that's neither here nor there and contently telling me he misses me. I want to yell "I'm right here" but I know that's not what he means. He wants me in his arms cuddling but the thought of that makes me want to pull away more. I'm in a"No, I don't want a hug" mood but I know he needs one, he's lonely. My t's advice was power through "nap time" but then I'm just withdrawn on the computer and making elaborate dinners. How do I properly deal with his loneliness when all I want to do is withdraw?
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Old 06-17-2017, 03:25 PM   #2
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I'm torn between saying you should rest and nurture yourself - and also to keep trying to do these things like cooking. Elaborate dinners sound really good, good job on that!
Can you give M a hug, sounds like he needs one. But also tell him I'm sorry that's all I can do right now.?
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Old 06-18-2017, 01:46 PM   #3
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I have been in his shoes. It is a horrible feeling being actively denied a hug when you really, really need one. Please give him a hug. It will mean the world to him, and won't kill you to do. I think it's one of those times when it's a matter of pushing past what you "feel like" doing and looking at the bigger picture.
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Old 06-18-2017, 03:17 PM   #4
Jennifer 1967
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Originally Posted by Innerzone View Post
I have been in his shoes. It is a horrible feeling being actively denied a hug when you really, really need one. Please give him a hug. It will mean the world to him, and won't kill you to do. I think it's one of those times when it's a matter of pushing past what you "feel like" doing and looking at the bigger picture.
I agree with this. If you can push past what you feel like doing it can actually help you feel better surprisingly. I find this often in my life although I need to take this advice more often.
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Old 06-18-2017, 04:32 PM   #5
Miguel'smom
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Default Re: Loneliness/neediness met with withdrawn

I did give him a hug both yesterday and today. He told me again that he misses me. I tried not pulling away. It felt so strange. I'm so against touch right now. To the point I want to cut my hair off. Hopefully it helped him not feel so lonely.
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Old 06-18-2017, 05:46 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
I've withdrawn. If I'm not sleeping, I'm eating and if I'm not eating, I'm cooking. In the unlikely event that I'm not doing those things I'm absorbed into the computer headphones and all. T says I'm depressed fine, I'm depressed. However my husband is depressed too. He refuses to take him meds but that's neither here nor there and contently telling me he misses me. I want to yell "I'm right here" but I know that's not what he means. He wants me in his arms cuddling but the thought of that makes me want to pull away more. I'm in a"No, I don't want a hug" mood but I know he needs one, he's lonely. My t's advice was power through "nap time" but then I'm just withdrawn on the computer and making elaborate dinners. How do I properly deal with his loneliness when all I want to do is withdraw?
Posts: 10,174 (SuperPoster!)

Congrats for getting to over 10,000 posts!

I'm in a withdraw mood, too. I just want to listen to music and read. Yesterday, though, N3 and I went out on the town, so there is some compromise.
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Old 06-18-2017, 09:18 PM   #7
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I know how he feels, i went through a mixed episode last night because I felt rejected by my boyfriend but I find myself withdrawn from others and daily activities... it sucks.
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: Loneliness/neediness met with withdrawn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
I did give him a hug both yesterday and today. He told me again that he misses me. I tried not pulling away. It felt so strange. I'm so against touch right now. To the point I want to cut my hair off. Hopefully it helped him not feel so lonely.
I'm sure it did help him. How are you today?
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